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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's not normal behaviour from my DP's 7yo DS?

36 replies

ScouseBird8364 · 07/01/2018 23:16

She's just turned 7... her mum walked out on them when she was 3, to go live with a new guy but sees them a few times a week now.

She is extremely preoccupied with private body parts, especially male ones Hmm She will say words like willy, nuts, balls, boobs, nipples to name a few, but, she will also grab and fondle my DP and her grandfather, whilst stating something like 'daddy's nuts are squishy' Shock WTF?!

Now DP and his parents laugh it off - he tells me she's getting all this from YouTube, but she watches videos of animated dancing willies and bums all the time, it's close to obsession Confused

She is a very disturbed little girl, very clingy and baby-like (wants to sit in baby high chairs in Maccies, etc) but gets away with everything!

I'm just very unnerved atm with the obsessive preoccupation with all things sexual? Or am I being OTT and it's just mere curiosity? Hmm

OP posts:
MyBrilliantDisguise · 07/01/2018 23:16

Bloody hell, I'd get her off YouTube and the internet and would have her booked into a counsellor tout suite!

Original poster
ScouseBird8364 · 07/01/2018 23:17

Sorry, title should've said 'DD' not 'DS' ...

OP posts:
Original poster
ScouseBird8364 · 07/01/2018 23:18

MyBrilliant my thoughts exactly!!

She absolutely hates me and my children as she is very clingy towards my DP, she will bang on about how much she wants him and her mum back together Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
ScouseBird8364 · 07/01/2018 23:19

She came into my DPs bedroom last week as I was laid in bed (fully clothed in PJ's) and said "Eeeugh, are you's going to have sex now"? ShockShock

OP posts:
MyBrilliantDisguise · 07/01/2018 23:19

Why is your partner not concerned about this? How would she even know to search on YouTube for that sort of thing?

She sounds like a little girl who needs a lot of help. Does he go to her parents' evenings at school?

HopefulForToday · 07/01/2018 23:20

No yanbu and that is seriously odd.

More worrying is your dp and FIL IMO. I would be immediately suspicious of any adult man that would 'laugh off' a 7 year old girl fondling them.

Allthewaves · 07/01/2018 23:21

Why on earth is she watching that on you tube. My boys are obsessed with body part words tbh, 4 yr old is particularly fond on 'vagina' since he leaned that girls have one. I would not tolerate grabbing and that would be severely reprimanded.

Allthewaves · 07/01/2018 23:22

How the heck does she knew what sex is??????

Ham69 · 07/01/2018 23:22

Very worrying, poor thing. To state the obvious, she clearly has attachment issues. It must be worth chatting to a health professional?

CandyCaneBeanieBoo · 07/01/2018 23:24

Very disturbing Sad

Kitsandkids · 07/01/2018 23:25

How does she have time to 'fondle' your dp and grandad? Surely as soon as she tried to touch they would be telling her no, moving her hand away etc. I would not be impressed with my dp allowing it to happen.

bbpp · 07/01/2018 23:25

I'm suprised you haven't heard, but there's been a recent backlash against YouTube due to pedophillic content. It's often cartoons (or adults dressed up) acting out sex, incest, murder. There are also accounts (a very popular one recently shut down) where the account holders own children are taking part - being tied up, or forced to pee themselves.

Its huge. Just give it a quick google. And make sure the internet is better supervised.

Original poster
ScouseBird8364 · 07/01/2018 23:26

Well you are all saying exactly what my parents and friends have said too! I just reeeeeeally don't understand how / why they see a funny side in her behaviour Hmm

I was sat in her room with her watching a film not long ago, and she was sat on the floor - she called my name for me to look at her, as I did so, she'd pulled her knickers to one side and was touching herself Shock

Now, my sis thinks this is extremely serious and that I should report it but I'm so confused right now.

She's also tried to choke my 2 year old DD, I assume out of jealousy - she is out of control!

I don't know if I have any rights to say anything to my DP as we're only 7 months in Confused

OP posts:
bbpp · 07/01/2018 23:27

Oh, I didn't make clear but these are aimed at children using disney characters or paw patrol cartoons etc. It's all about algorithms and curious, unsupervised children end up binge watching them and it makes them money.

UnitedKungdom · 07/01/2018 23:27

Jesus Christ, how is your DO not reacting to this! Something has gone terribly wrong for her to be this sexualised,

UnitedKungdom · 07/01/2018 23:27

DP

Original poster
ScouseBird8364 · 07/01/2018 23:27

bbpp OMG really??

OP posts:
LotsOfLoveAndSarcasm · 07/01/2018 23:27

Not normal behaviour, no Shock

UnitedKungdom · 07/01/2018 23:29

It doesn't matter if you are 7 yrs in or even a stranger, this is a child that needs investigation and help. Report report report! You might lose the 7 mth relationship but it's worth it to get this child help.

bbpp · 07/01/2018 23:31

Really, it's being termed 'elsagate' which may help you research it.

Original poster
ScouseBird8364 · 07/01/2018 23:31

I feel quite guilty as I've started to wonder whether something sinister may be going on but I am a very paranoid person generally, so not sure whether this is me just being typically para Hmm

OP posts:
LotsOfLoveAndSarcasm · 07/01/2018 23:32

Something sinister might be going on or things have been really messed up in her head - either way, she needs help.

MyBrilliantDisguise · 07/01/2018 23:33

Personally I would write to her school about this, outlining everything you know, and then I would dump the guy. Firstly, he's dealing with a very, very serious issue in a flippant way. Secondly, your presence in his life is hurting her. I don't think any man is worth that.

Original poster
ScouseBird8364 · 07/01/2018 23:33

She will tweak my DPs nipples and he just says her name, as if to say 'stop' but just in a light-hearted manner Hmm her nan and grandad just laugh WTAF?

OP posts:
user1494849703 · 07/01/2018 23:34

You need to report this. Call the nspcc helpline asap and tell them what you said here. If this is genuine there is something very wrong going on in this girls life.