To just have a ranty fucking rant though IABU?

[Wanderlust1984]

ExH and I generally get on very well. He has our DD every other weekend. My friend (who's DD was born on same day and is my DDs BF) suggested we book a cottage for the weekend of their birthday. She's not free other weekends because of her shifts at work. It's exH's weekend and he's refusing to swop, even though he's no plans for her. I'm pissed off, but can't really demand he swops. We were going to have hot tubs, games, buffet, make own pizzas, let the girls make mocktails, watch films, chat, sip wine and pretty much have an awesome time I'm fucking pissed off but IABU. Just wanted to rant. Feel a little better already

well, I still think I had the best idea.

But anyway, have you mentioned it to dd? Or will you just keep quiet?

He’s not a bastard but it’s a shame he can’t put her first and let her have a lovely weekend for her birthday.

Because it’s not possible for a child to have a “lovely weekend” with their dad?

Why do people seem to think a dad is second best and mums should aways have first dibs on a childs time?

If you didn’t live with your child and only saw them eow would you give up your weekend, on their birthday?

He’s not a bastard but it’s a shame he can’t put her first and let her have a lovely weekend for her birthday

Why won't she have a lovely weekend with her dad?

She probably would have a lovely w/e w dad, but it wouldn't be as special as going away with bf and hot tubs and double birthday etc etc.

I'm not saying dad should have to give in, but it seems a shame she would miss out on an amazing treat, especially when it's not like he has organised anything else special.

At what age would people generally start asking kids in these situations? Or just never, and they always have to do what the parents plan?

Her best friend's birthday will be on the same day every year. This isn't the only opportunity they've had or will have to celebrate it together.

No of course I hadn't mentioned it to DD. I've now booked another weekend a few months later which we've now told DDs about. Oh and a two week all inclusive holiday whilst I was at it so I feel much better now ha

I would suggest you stop giving him the choice at Christmas. Doesn't that mean you run the risk of not having her on Christmas Day for years at a time?