Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To tell my “friend” I don’t five a feck..

36 replies

hattiesmumm · 07/01/2018 09:49

I had a baby 18 months Ago, made a really good friend. She was round nearly every day, me and my partner took her out a lot etc. Her baby was the same age as Mine. We would have her and her husband over for dinner a lot etc.

Anyway, last year I was diagnosed with PND and she went back to work part time in July. As soon as she went back work, I hardly heard from her unless she needed something. She made a lot of young friends at work and spend most weekends going out for drinks after work/tAke always with these 19/20 year olds. I messaged her telling her I felt used and not good enough anymore. I had made her god parent in June. She blew off at me and told me I was a bitch etc. She sent a friend round to my house “to have words” while I was home alone with my daughter. I was terrified.

Anyway fast forward to now. She’s left her husband for a younger lad, “never felt like this before, I’m so in love him etc”. The guy has just been sent to prison for 2 years and now she’s constantly texting me how depressed she is, how lonely she is, how she feels like he’s died...

I reallly don’t care. She says she hasn’t heard from her other friends.. it’s like I’m being used all over again!!

I’ve blocked her on Facebook and Instagram but she turns up at my house 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Not once has she asked me how I am.

OP posts:

Figrollsnotfatrolls · 07/01/2018 09:50

Just don't answer the door, or ask your dh to answer and tell her straight she isn't welcome.

Wishfulmakeupping · 07/01/2018 09:51

Be busy and distance yourself as much as you can you do not want someone like that in your life- sending someone to your home fgs she sounds like a nasty piece of work op

Backinten · 07/01/2018 09:52

Tell her to fuck the fuck off next time she turns up!

CoraPirbright · 07/01/2018 09:52

Ask her how she would feel if someone was sent around to her house to threaten her?? Tell her to get tae fuck and leave you alone!!

thecatsarecrazy · 07/01/2018 09:54

No tell her to fuck off cheeky bitch.

TheDailyMailIsADisgustingRag · 07/01/2018 09:56

Yanbu. Tell her to stop coming to your house. You definitely don’t need this one in your life. She sounds like an asshole.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 07/01/2018 09:58

She sent someone around to have words with a sick women, because she's not hard enough to do it herself. No way are you being unreasonable. Cheeky brass necked fucker. You don't care and you don't have to. Where are all her famous young, now.

Fineganbeginagain · 07/01/2018 10:08

I have a couple of people who are terribly friendly when their partners are away or they’re going through a bad patch with them. Barely / don’t hear from them otherwise. Definitely feels like you’re the B team.

Agree - drop them.

juneau · 07/01/2018 10:10

Christ, I'd tell her to jog on. What a cow! Is there anyway of un-god-mothering her? I think I'd have a word with the priest that baptised my DC in this instance.

CharizMa · 07/01/2018 10:13

wow, she's living in a different world from you. Sending people round to your house to ''have words'' and then expecting the friendship to continue??

No wonder you don't care. Friendship terminated the moment she sent a heavy round to your house to have words with you.

Don't get in to a you said/ i said/ she said with her. If she forces you to 'justify' why you're not her friend tell her you're scared of her.

CharizMa · 07/01/2018 10:14

wow, she's living in a different world from you. Sending people round to your house to ''have words'' and then expecting the friendship to continue??

No wonder you don't care. Friendship terminated the moment she sent a heavy round to your house to have words with you.

Don't get in to a you said/ i said/ she said with her. If she forces you to 'justify' why you're not her friend tell her you're scared of her.

Cuckooclocks · 07/01/2018 10:15

She’s a user. Blank her and when she turns up at your house say you’re afraid you’re busy and don’t let her in. If she doesn’t get the hint just politely tell her that after she a) dropped you, b) sent her friend round to have words with you and c) called you a bitch, you decided it was better for the friendship to be over.

letsdolunch321 · 07/01/2018 10:15

Text her reminding her of the occasion she sent a friend around to hassle you. Also remind her as she shut herself off from you, you have moved on. If she comes round your home again you will call the police to deal with her.

AstridWhite · 07/01/2018 10:18

She sounds grim. Just don't answer the door unless you are expecting someone or can see who it is through a window first. In fact that's always a good idea, whether you've got vile ex-friends or not.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 07/01/2018 10:20

I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of telling her I was scared of her.
Also whats to be scared of anyway. Like I've said. She had to send someone around to ops to have "words", because she was too shit scared to do it herself. Hardly the description of a "hard knock", is it.

MoKnickers · 07/01/2018 10:20

Laugh in her face and slam the door. Cheeky bitch.

WildIrishRose1 · 07/01/2018 10:20

I second Cuckoo.

Softkitty2 · 07/01/2018 10:22

Dont answer the door. Make sure your front door is locked.

Mrsmadevans · 07/01/2018 10:23

Ghost her she will get the message soon enough

JustAnIdiot · 07/01/2018 10:26

If she sends some other thuggy prison mate of her DP's person round to intimidate you, call the Police.

FreddieClaryHorshieLion · 07/01/2018 10:26

Don’t tell her you were scared. It will give her satisfaction and she might do it again (she sounds a bit unhinged and could be holding a grudge).

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 07/01/2018 10:27

Get this woman out of your life, she wa only in it for a short time, and has proved that she isn't good friend material.
Why are you letting her in ?

WazFlimFlam · 07/01/2018 10:29

It is difficult when you realise that a new friend (which can be difficult to make in adult hood) is just a drama llama, who swing from one melodrama to the next.

Still, there is nothing you can do except never have anything to do with her again and mark it up as a learning experience.

Serialweightwatcher · 07/01/2018 10:33

If you still want her in your life then I would consider trying to mend this friendship, however selfish she obviously is but that's only if you want it. If not, I would answer the door and say "you didn't help me when I needed you - I don't need you any more - must be karma - goodbye"

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 07/01/2018 10:55

YANBU, no. She's one of life's users.
She'll never be a true friend to you, so unless you like being picked up and put down at her whim, then get rid of her.

Flip

1 2