Mental load capacity - aibu

[Quiddichcup]

Just a massive rant. Probably abu.

My brain is full up. I got back from a big holiday a week ago. House is a tip, 10 loads of washing, suitcases out. Stuff in piles to be sorted. Awful jet lag that saw me fall asleep at my desk wednesday.

Lone parent so no one to help and just concentrated on getting through the day. House gets in worse state.
Brain tired.
Brought a car yesterday so spent time doing extra stuff for that, have 2 job interviews next week, same day, 1 hour apart. Both would make a huge impact to my lifestyle if I got them. Need to find an interview outfit and prep like crazy for them.

My mother has 'sold my old car. I wasn't even going to put an ad up till next weekend because I have so much to do this week ( also work 33hrs) my mental load is full up. She just called me lazy and said I'm crap because I don't immediately know where all my old car paperwork is ( I know the general area) and that i should sort myself out.

So. Basically. Am I a lazy cow or is this enough on my plate.

Yes, it’s a lot, esp with job interviews. As long as you have enough to wear, l ave the washing!

Well if you've had the temerity to have a holiday, and use a figure of speech in a way other posters don't approve of, you clearly shouldn't get any sympathy.....

OP, I hear you. You have an enormous amount on your plate just now. Jet lag is a nightmare,and is likely causing you to feel panicky and depressed, so be aware of that, and be kind to yourself. The job interviews, and the thought of what's riding on them, are also very stressful. Just get through the next few days by focusing on the most important things, ie the job interviews. I predict by Wednesday you will be feeling much better, and able to get on top of things.

Am not seeing the problem either, cleaning the bathroom doesn't take long and unless you are washing by hand it takes all of five minutes to load the machine.

You only work approx six and a half hours over five days so there's a whole load of time left to do the washing and sort car paperwork.

Things seem insurmountable when you're tired. Just do it bit by bit. Prioritise. Ignore the bitter posters.

Household chores absolutely contribute to mental load - not so much the actual doing of them but the planning/organising/scheduling aspects. I understand some people find that less stressful than others, and that’s great for them, but for some of us things aren’t so simple! And jet lag is a bitch, if you’re literally falling asleep your desk then you are absolutely exhausted so you will not be functioning efficiently and stresses will all take more of a toll than usual.

Times like this I find the Eisenhower decision matrix useful to help me work out tasks to do now, tasks to schedule, tasks to delegate and tasks to bin. It’s the urgent/not urgent important/not important box thing.

I understand OP. I manage our house and life basically. I work p/t so I can. DH full time but he does very little in the house and sorting stuff out. I did work f/t and I couldn't cope with it all. The mental load was too much. I have ASD and if things start getting behind it really stresses me out.

SOunds like you have a lot going on this week, OP.

I agree that housework can contribute to mental load, especially when you’re mainly (or solely) responsible for it, and being overtired always makes things 10 times harder to cope with IME. Sure, washing clothes or cleaning isn’t the most taxing thing in the world, but if there’s a lot of other stuff going on, dealing with housework can sometimes feel like the last straw.

For the next few days, try to focus on the most important stuff - the interviews - and do the minimum required for the rest of the stuff. Tell your mum you’re too busy to sort out selling the old car this week (because interviews!) and you’ll do it once the interviews are finished with.

Best of luck.

Can you do little and often job, make everything's bite size?
Or prioritise the most important stuff, so get your work stuff. And kids stuff ready for tomorrow.
Then look at stuff that can wait and stuff that can't.
Get through this week and the interviews and hopefully you'll soon be back on track, it's crap when you just have too much going on.

Sympathy OP. I'm not single but find myself doing all of the thinking/organising, and completely understand how things just build up.

You'll get through it all, but going forward I'd outsource stuff if possible. E.g. If you have mammoth amounts of laundry, take it to the laundrette (not every week but sometimes when it's all piled up for some reason), get a cleaner (then you just have to tidy, not clean). All that might help.

And tell your mum that she should ask how to help rather than take matters into her own hands.

Good luck for your interviews.

Thank you.

I've cleared some off my to do list and don't feel as stressed.

Normally everything is fine, it's just a bit of a bottke neck situation. I'm happy, I don't need to try to be super woman and do it all. Just in not sure my mother appreciates that.