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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have turned away this airbnb guest?

999 replies

Hiptrip · 07/01/2018 09:05

I have been doing airbnb for a while and have found it a great way to meet new people, and earn a little extra. That is until last Friday night.

Despite my house rule of no children, a woman wrote to me and asked if I could make an exception, promising that her two-year old son would be very well behaved. My house is not set up for children, and I simply don’t want toddlers here so I replied and said no.

She said that was okay and booked anyway, saying she had to come to my town for a wedding, and that she’d find someone to look after him.

Then she turned up with her child at 9.30pm saying she couldn’t find a sitter, and had hysterics as she pleaded with me on the doorstep, to allow him to stay. I refused and in the end called the police because she said she wouldn’t leave until I gave her, her money back in cash because she needed it to stay elsewhere. As she was starting to cause a nuisance, they got rid of her.

She’s taken this to airbnb. My argument is that she was told she couldn’t bring her child, and did anyway, so she should lose her money. Not unreasonable?

OP posts:
Pengggwn · 07/01/2018 13:18

This reply has been deleted

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AnathemaPulsifer · 07/01/2018 13:19

what is a 2yo going to do that is so horrible after 9:30 at night

  1. scream because they can’t get to sleep
  2. scream because they woke up in the night
  3. wake up for the day at 5am and run around shouting and squealing
  4. break all the un-child friendly items they encounter
  5. cut themselves on shards of broken things, possibly whilst mother sleeps because, let’s face it, she doesn’t sound v responsible
  6. (FFS WILL NOBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN) trip on the steep attic stairs and break arm/leg/neck

Do note also that this was a TWO NIGHT booking. How likely do you think it that the CF would have been gone at dawn never to be seen again? Options 1, 2 and 3 all require refunds to the other guest. And as noted above, none of this is covered by liability insurance because child wasn’t on booking because the OP clearly stated on website and in subsequent communications that bring a child was absolutely unacceptable.

Honestly, some of the responses here make me shudder for humanity. Talking to the OP like she’s evil because she wants to stick to the rules she’s set out for how strangers are welcomed into her own home. Practice what you preach - next time someone is awful to you in the street invite them to sleep in your home and have free reign while you’re asleep and vulnerable.

mumof2sarah · 07/01/2018 13:19

Ywnbu OP and as for the refund, if she paid via card the money goes back via card. Otherwise you could be paying a fraudster or anything. She's a CF, well done for standing your ground on this 👍🏻

rothbury · 07/01/2018 13:19

YANBU

She is a CF.

OP could have rented out to another guest that night so she is potentially out of pocket. She shouldn't have to refund the CF.

SuburbanRhonda · 07/01/2018 13:21

and while you're doing that I'll ring round the travelodges and see if there is an available room.

So along with everything else that’s been assumed about this family, you also believe the woman is incapable of using a phone?

Pengggwn · 07/01/2018 13:22

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Hoppinggreen · 07/01/2018 13:24

The CF turned up at9.30 at night having been at a wedding in the area presumably for a large part of the day.
She therefore KNEW that she had nowhere to stay for quite a few hours so there was no need for a desperate late night scene on OP’s doorstep.
This situation didn’t suddenly occur , the CF was either scamming or thought she could persuade OP to break the rules, despite OP being very clear she wouldn’t.

BashStreetKid · 07/01/2018 13:25

Once I've asked someone to leave my home and they've refused, I have no choice - that is a police matter. My view is it probably never would have got to that point if this had happened to me.

But you can't say that it wouldn't get to that point, Pengggwyn. And once you've called the police, all those scenarios you've talked about come into play - the woman is being turned out with nowhere to go, the child has to get into the cold car, be changed in the chilly service station, etc etc. How is that morally better?

Pengggwn · 07/01/2018 13:27

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BashStreetKid · 07/01/2018 13:28

Hopping, with a two night booking I would assume the CF was going to the wedding the following day. But of course she must have known about the alleged babysitting problem before she set off, so I agree that she had time to sort something else out or at least phone OP to check whether it would be OK to come with her child.

smashyourglasses · 07/01/2018 13:28

Penggggwyn i hope you have sensible people around you 24/7 as you sound a bit daft and niave.

BashStreetKid · 07/01/2018 13:29

Pengggwyn, this woman was claiming she couldn't stay elsewhere unless OP paid her back in cash. So, if you took her at her word as you claim you would have, she would still have been going out into the cold etc. with nowhere to go to.

Pengggwn · 07/01/2018 13:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pengggwn · 07/01/2018 13:30

This reply has been deleted

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wictional · 07/01/2018 13:30

Toddzilla strikes again!

OP I think YANBU. You said it’s strictly child free, she booked based on that contract, she brought her child and broke it. Yes, it’s sad that said child had nowhere to go that night, but if you said no children, you said no children.

VivaLeBeaver · 07/01/2018 13:32

I would have turned them away. And you were right not to refund on the doorstep. Can’t believe she had no other money with her? How was she planning on paying for drinks at the wedding, etc?

WetPaint4 · 07/01/2018 13:35

Why do people like to create drama around the facts just to make things sound so much worse than the reality?

I particularly enjoyed the way someone described this woman and her child as being "thrown out into the snow" because it sounds much more dramatic than being asked to leave and having to get back into her car to find suitable accommodation elsewhere.

The mother was irresponsible, taking her child anywhere before she had confirmed accommodation and waiting until 9.30 before attempting to sort it out.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 07/01/2018 13:36

Most of us have had kids and managed to take them on long journeys without turning into cheeky fuckers. I've changed nappies on a changing mat in the backseat of a car and in service stations - it really is no big deal.
The OP has to prioritise and protect her business. Maybe the other guest has a good reason for not wanting to stay in a place with small children, given they they obeyed the contract, their comfort is more important. Why should OP put herself in the position of having to refund that guest (having done all the work involved in having them stay), just because some cf eon't take no for an answer?

Talkingfrog · 07/01/2018 13:39

Have read again and realised you didn't refund. She was not entitled to one anyway, as she broke the agreement.
You were right to say no. Even if you hadn't had other guests, the property was not equipped for a toddler and it doesn't sound like she would be the most responsible or respectful of other people's property.
Agree with people that she was trying it on and was relying in the fact it was late that you wouldn't say no. To find somewhere suitable that would allow children was probably more expensive.
I felt sorry for the child as they will either grow up to expect to get everything done their way, or be too frightened of her to say anything.

CherryMaDeara · 07/01/2018 13:40

And as I have already said, depending on the safety of the house I probably would have let them stay. Had I decided not to, however, I would have at least let them use the bathroom and feed the toddler.

But OP couldn't have let them stay because the attic stairs aren't safe for a child.

So if you aren't giving a cash refund, you're sending the child back into the cold.

perfectstorm · 07/01/2018 13:40

She clearly assumed she would embarrass you into it. Good for you for standing your ground. It's appalling behaviour when it's also your home - be rude with a hotel, but in this situation?

I'm sure there are Premier Inns etc in the area. And if there aren't, she was at a wedding. If someone is going to be forced to house her at short notice against their wishes, then there are people she actually knows in the area.

Pengggwn · 07/01/2018 13:42

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quizqueen · 07/01/2018 13:42

Good for you for not accepting her and her child - your house, your rules and she was told about them in advance. You did not cause any distress here, she did by not booking appropriate accommodation. No refund here either because there was not enough notice given and you did not have the opportunity to re-let the room. Her problem, not yours.

Jenny17 · 07/01/2018 13:44

OP has clearly stated terms and conditions and reiterated position regarding children so it was not unreasonable to not accept guest. The guest was being unreasonable. Refund policy should be clear. Unless it’s clearly stated that a refund will not be given in the given scenario the guest should receive refund.

BashStreetKid · 07/01/2018 13:44

OK, Pengggwyn, have it your way. If you were in the Airbnb business, you would have been happy to take in a CF with a sob story purely because she had a toddler, and you would have been happy to suck up the potential financial loss, the fact that you would probably spoil your other guest's stay, and the bad review from that guest.

But can you just begin to accept that maybe OP isn't in the wrong for choosing not to do that?