Okay. So I met my dp almost two years ago and fell madly in love. I had never met a more kind hearted, sweeter or gentle man and within six months I quit my job so that I could move in with him. It may seem rash but I knew I loved him more than I have ever loved any man (cheesy but true)and we are from two different counties so I intended to just find a job where he lived.
However I discovered I was pregnant within 3 months of moving there and suffered from hyperemesis for almost 12weeks which had me bed bound or in and out to hospital.
My dp was so supportive and kind throughout the pregnancy, he worked full time and came home to feed the dogs, clean the house and make us dinner (I could never ever eat but he would make it nonetheless)
Our beautiful baby was born healthy and strong four months ago and things have become extremely hard.
Apparently I am "the moodiest person he has ever met" and he never knows what to expect with me.
Before the baby we discussed getting married some day and possible future kids and now that has all gone out the window.
I am trying my hardest but I have ZERO support. I know no one in this town and have no friends or family here. I have asked family to come visit many times but they are always too busy with their own lives/ families. My partner knows I have no financial/emotional/ practical support from any source and he knows I am finding first time motherhood hard. I have always been a strong and independent person but for the first time ever I feel so isolated and lonely. He knows this as I have told him. He knows I am alone. He knows I am finding this hard. He knows I am always tired. He knows I am already doing my best.
He makes comments that make me feel like I am a bad mother or that I am lazy or inadequate when in fact I am just exhausted. He cleaned the house from top to bottom today (I know people will think lucky cow)but he is not the neat freak he portrays himself as - he is a control freak not a neat freak. He likes meals made in a particular way and the house to be tidied just so. He feels like he has to tell me again and again how to do things around the house as I forget.
I cannot believe this is my life now. It is boring and repetitive and unrewarding. I want so much to pack my bags and go - but go where??? My family are not an option I promise you. My dp knows this and personally I think he uses it against me because he thinks "she can threaten to leave all she likes but we both know she has absolutely nowhere to go".
I know I am a good mother - I am trying my best at least but his comments are getting to me. He "joked" recently about getting custody of our baby should we break up and I was shocked and horrified. Here I am thinking about weddings and he is secretly thinking about taking my baby!!!!
I have tried talking to him but he just gets angry and defensive. The bottom line is he holds all the cards and he knows it. He owns this home, I don't even own a car! He has family and friends around him, I only have a screaming baby around me.
He is a good person deep down but can I really settle for this? He said recently that we should stay together for the sake of our child but I don't know if I can.