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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's possible to have a rewarding career after being a SAHM

40 replies

Sundaymorning1316 · 06/01/2018 23:30

I have been a SAHM for the past 5 years and am planning to start working again when dd2 starts preschool at the end of the year. I didn't have a well established career before having my dcs. I did a PhD then a four year postdoc research job before going on maternity leave. I have broad social research skills and have also done some university teaching and worked with arts/cultural organisations. I'm happy to leave academia behind and salary/status aren't high priorities, but I do want to do something interesting, stimulating and worthwhile (and definitely part time for the next few years). AIBU to think there could be something out there for me?!

I would love to hear other people's experiences (positive and negative) of working after being a long term SAHM, particularly those who have switched career. I've considered a few options but still undecided about what i might do.

OP posts:
AhhhhThatsBass · 07/01/2018 00:33

I was in the City on a 6 figure salary and quit when I had DC to be a SAHM for a couple of years. Went back to a different role (couldn’t have continued doing what I had been doing without some major lifestyle changes, specifically love in help) so moved into slightly different role. Found it tricky getting back in, purely because the roles I was being offered were in the same area I had been in previously so finding something different with a comparable salary took a little while.
I don’t love what I do Butt don’t feel that my time out hindered me too much. However it’s almost impossible to find a part time role from scratch so I am full time and I would far, far prefer 4 days per week or ideally 3. That’s the only major downside as far as I am concerned.

CappuccinoCake · 07/01/2018 00:34

I've found it really really really tricky...

Mookatron · 07/01/2018 00:38

I'm not going to say YABU. However don't expect it to be easy. I mean I hope it is but in my experience applying for jobs after being a SAHM was the most dispiriting experience ever. If you can fudge the time at home as freelance working in some way that may help. I ended up going back to uni. As you've a PhD etc maybe you'll have better luck. I'm not trying to be all doom and gloom! I honestly mean good luck. Just expect to get angry quite a lot at how little SAHPing is valued.

Biboundeo · 07/01/2018 00:43

Totally doable in my case. The job right after my 3 years as a SAHM has actually a larger scope than my previous one, different company, new industry but same field and building directly onto core competencies demonstrated before kids. DH is stepping up though.

Biboundeo · 07/01/2018 00:46

Oh, and yes, I did some freelance during my SAHM phase so I talked about that during interviews when asked about last few years - although having kids made me more centred and efficient which I mentioned too

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 07/01/2018 00:48

Totally doable if you retrain, but that's time consuming and expensive. I know some women who are training to be teachers and nurses

NoMudNoLotus · 07/01/2018 00:56

My DC are 12 & 10 now .

When they were 10&8 after years of SAHM & P/T in my career i started to progress again.

After a lot of tears and exhaustion im not entirely sure it has been worth it.

I dont know if im any happier , the money is nice but has given me better quality of life ?

No

Tomselleckhaskindeyes · 07/01/2018 01:00

I took a break from work and was really worried about getting back to work. It took me 24 hours to get Work.

SpringSnowdrop · 07/01/2018 01:02

I have found it so hard and never get asked to an interview. This is despite a good Oxbridge degree/ masters and I also retrained to have a recent qualification.
I know I just need to keep trying; it has knocked my confidence.

RaindropsAndSparkles · 07/01/2018 01:08

8 years as SAHM, previously in City on six figure salary. Retrained from the v bottom 15 years ago, starting back part-time on £8k. Did the relevant prof quals and nkw Director of Service almost on six figures again. More fulfilling, local, hard work but not stupid hours. So, yes can be done.

elliejjtiny · 07/01/2018 01:11

I worry about this. I've been a sahm for 11.5 years. Youngest starts school in September and I was hoping to go back to work part time when he is in year 1. I can't see anyone wanting me to work for them though as I would only be able to work school hours term time only and I wouldn't be able to work if the DC were ill. So many unemployed people who are more reliable than me

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 07/01/2018 01:21

"
I worry about this. I've been a sahm for 11.5 years. Youngest starts school in September and I was hoping to go back to work part time when he is in year 1. I can't see anyone wanting me to work for them though as I would only be able to work school hours term time only and I wouldn't be able to work if the DC were ill. So many unemployed people who are more reliable than me"

Why only school hours? Breakfast club/childminder/afterschool etc.

Is their Dad unable to so drop offs or pickups?

I work part time to fit around school, but I have to use the breakfast club for my two. I got my part time role by negotiating hours after maternity leave, both times.

You might need to be open to something outside school hours...

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 07/01/2018 01:22

Single parent btw. Don't have a choice.

KanielOutis · 07/01/2018 07:51

I went back to work after a 5 year break with no issues. It’s a mid £20’s salary though so they aren’t hard to come by.

Original poster
Sundaymorning1316 · 07/01/2018 13:02

Thanks so much for your replies. It's heartening to know that some people have made it work, though I'm expecting it to be quite a challenge. Those who switched careers, what did you do beforeand after having children and did it involve much retraining? (Having been in education for so long, I'm not keen on going back to university!)

OP posts:
trumptown · 07/01/2018 13:07

I was a SAHM for 9 years. I had a high flying corporate career before my first DC (now 11) but was made redundant when she was 1 year old. I was pregnant again by the time my settlement was agreed and nearing 40 years old. So I stayed at home for the next few years. I now have a brilliantly rewarding but challenging career in the public sector, completely unrelated to my previous corporate career. I work term time only, part time hours that fit in with school hours. Obviously my salary is about a 10th of what I was on before. I started as a volunteer when my youngest started pre-school. I'm now looking ahead to building up my hours back to more like full-time in the next year or 2, and working for the local authority although in a niche role, the career opportunities that have opened up are quite wide and varied.

Twalva · 07/01/2018 13:08

power yes of course you have a choice, plenty of single mums work. You either use after school care plus holiday clubs, a nanny or if you’ve school age children and some space you can use an aupair for wrap around and during the holidays. As the children get older you also do child swaps with friends. My kids generally don’t have more than a couple of days a year off sick, if that and i work at home around them. It’s defeatist and suggests you don’t want to work to say that you can only work school hours and term time only because there’s always a way around it

Jenijena · 07/01/2018 13:12

I know someone with a similar background to you who took a career break to raise her children and recently retired from a senior university administration role.

VivaLeBeaver · 07/01/2018 13:45

Why would you not want to go back to academia? I’d have thought that it’s a job which works quite well with small kids, ok maybe not from Sept-Dec but the rest of the year is ok.

helpfulperson · 07/01/2018 15:01

I work for a council and many of our Service Managers are women who took a break to have children. Interestingly however they often had their children and the break in their late 20's so were back on the ladder by mid 30's so at 50 have 15 years of experience when going for senior roles.

elliejjtiny · 07/01/2018 21:44

DC have SEN so almost impossible to find childcare (sorry for massive dripfeed but trying not to post loads of details on threads because of the daily mail etc. Dh works away a lot. I've got a volunteering job lined up part time which will be good and I would like to do it as a paid job one day but I wouldn't be reliable enough. Twalva, that's amazing that your DC only have a couple of days off sick a year. I don't think any of mine have made it through a whole term without being off yet and oldest DC is 11. I'm not really soft on them either, I've been phoned to pick them up from school because they were ill a few times when I thought they were well enough to manage OK, usually with colds etc.

IsaSchmisa · 07/01/2018 21:51

What's the doctorate in?

mowglik · 07/01/2018 22:28

Watching with interest, OP I have the exact same history as you except I also did a teaching qualification after my postdoc. Now at home with 2 dc and thinking about either trying for third or going back to work when dc2 is ready for preschool.

I’m now thinking of how to reskill, or do something relevant during the remainder of the career break.

mowglik · 07/01/2018 22:28

*same work history

prettymess · 07/01/2018 22:31

About 11 years as a SAHM, started as a Christmas temp in a shop, 5 years later I work in a pharmacy.