To think it's possible to have a rewarding career after being a SAHM

[Sundaymorning1316]

I have been a SAHM for the past 5 years and am planning to start working again when dd2 starts preschool at the end of the year. I didn't have a well established career before having my dcs. I did a PhD then a four year postdoc research job before going on maternity leave. I have broad social research skills and have also done some university teaching and worked with arts/cultural organisations. I'm happy to leave academia behind and salary/status aren't high priorities, but I do want to do something interesting, stimulating and worthwhile (and definitely part time for the next few years). AIBU to think there could be something out there for me?!

I would love to hear other people's experiences (positive and negative) of working after being a long term SAHM, particularly those who have switched career. I've considered a few options but still undecided about what i might do.

My PhD is in social anthropology but I also have a humanities background. Academia doesn't appeal to me. I enjoyed the postdoc but the pressure, beaurocracy and competitiveness of an academic career puts me right off!

I do enjoy research though, and one option would be to freelance for a while as a social researcher. The other option would be to start something new - I'm still mulling over what that might be.

Mowglik, have you had any ideas about what you might do if you don't return to academia?

prettymess - are you me?

same here.

Love the mention of get a nanny
I've been a sahm and recently started working a shitty 7hr week job, have to work around dhs awkward shifts so no chance of weekend or night time work and certainly can't afford childcare or a nanny, hopefully i can find something better when ds starts school

I did / have.

I started back contracting rather than perm. Now have own business and we're expanding.

Am I any happier? No. But I do like being able to provide for and support DDs through uni.

I really hope it is possible but I’m feeling very disheartened by it at the moment. After almost 9 years as a sahm I started applying for jobs (anything admin/PA based, which is what my previous jobs have been in) and didn’t even get a single interview within 6 months. I’ve done voluntary roles and kept my skills up to date etc but it doesn’t seem to make any difference.

I’m currently working 10 hours a week as a lunch time supervisor in a school and trying to work out where the hell to go from here!

I think one of the biggest obstacles for women returning to work is presenteeism and the expectation that people will work many, many hours over their contracted hours for free, in their own time.

Most women I know are really happy to go to the office, work their arse off, and be home for their kids’ bedtime. Anyone wanting to be on any kind of significant salary is expected to be willing to stay in the office and essentially work for free in the evenings when, not only is no childcare available, it’s just not what people want to do when they have kids. This is dismissed (by society, and on Mumsnet) as just what you have to do to get ahead. But it shouldn’t be. If you are needed to work in the evenings, your salary and contract should reflect that. Someone, somewhere is winning when you’re working for free, and it’s not you.

I’ve absolutely refused to do extra hours at work now and, although I’m doing fine at work, I’m not going to be promoted. It’s shockingly shit, but unless men and women stand up and refuse to do it, it’s not going to change.

The PhD may not be terribly useful outside of academia without relevant work experience in the area you're going into. You'll have to work hard to make what you did in your post docs relevant to a new role. And I think that good, well paid part time jobs are practically never advertised. You may need to start full time and then negotiate part time.

I agree laurie that PhD doesn’t really set you up for for roles outside of academia, which is why I’m currently looking for courses/placements that will update my skills.

@Sundaymorning1316 I’m not planning on returning to academia, as you say the competitive nature of it and the commitment required doesn’t work with my life as it is now with two kids. I would like to continue working in the field though, I’ve been thinking about science writing as a possible alternative.

I’m in a similar position op, so I truly hope yanbu! I’ve been a sahm for three years and am expecting dc2 in two weeks’ time, so probably won’t work for a few months after that. I’m dying to get back to work tbh. Although dh has pointed out how much I hated leaving dc1 when she was little...

I know one woman who has had a much more successful (and I think rewarding, though I’ve never asked her) career since she had her dcs. She wasn’t really working pre-dcs, but was studying for her MA. She had two dcs and was a sahm for six years. Then she got a sort of stop gap, admin job in and eventually found a job as a magazine editor, (related to her MA). She’s still doing that and it sounds awfully glam / high power etc. So it can happen, though anything would do for me at the moment!

University admin?

Yes, JaniceBattersby if you only see work in terms of money.

I know you said you don't want to go back to academia but may be the easiest option - often if you go to a less prestigious university they will overlook the gap in time and value the work you did previously. In my experience social research areas are also more forgiving of career breaks than basic sciences for instance.

I’m planning on freelancing - I already do a little, then I should be starting an OU masters next year which will give me another option for freelance work (translating - I am currently doing editing). My old career also lends itself to freelancing, although I’m not sure it’s something I want to stick with.

I do think that getting back into employment in my old field would be tricky but I’ve always planned on using this time to change career, and freelancing is something I really want to try. DH was a very successful freelancer for many years so I kind of use him as a bit of a mentor.

I’m not kidding myself that it will be easy and I’ll probably never be rich (wouldn’t have been anyway, I was a charity worker with no interest in clawing my way up the ranks!) but I’m hoping for something that is varied, interesting, and keeps some money coming in. I’ve wanted to do an MA in translation for years, so I’m really quite excited about finally getting going!

Really interesting responses, thank you!

I've always been drawn to museums, galleries and theatres. I've worked alongside a couple of these organisations as a researcher, but not in my own right. I don't think I have the experience to get a paid job in this sector, but volunteering may offer a way in.

I also keep coming back to the idea of retraining as an early years teacher. I love spending time at my daughter's preschool and it seems like a very creative place to work (less tied to a set curriculum than older years so lots of freedom to design activities etc). I'm planning to do some voluntary work there over the next few months to see if this is a serious option. It would certainly be a change of direction!

Freelance research is the most straightforward option, but I'm not feeling very inspired by that at the moment. That may be because I can't quite visualise how it would work (I've never freelanced before).

Thanks again for replying ☺

I would prefer to go back into academia as I feel my whole identity tied up into it, but it will be nigh on impossible after so many years 'off' in particular as I'm still based in the same city so can't really move to another university unless to take up a really high earning position. I was never very senior so couldn't cover full-time child care out of my salary, hence sahp-ing. I have thought about getting part time associate roles in 'admin' but tbh it is a bit embarrassing after where my career was before children and I worry about whether it will actually be worse going back after that, than after a sahm decade. And most part time jobs which involve a semblance of teaching or research (which would be good for now) tend to either go to younger post docs or to people trained in a specific career (like OPs suggestion around something like early years museum-type work). I do so dislike what having children has done to my career.