AIBU to take the couple from the bar's DD swimming?

[PixieXox]

Just that really.

DP and I are staying in a Hilton hotel for our anniversary this weekend. We met another couple in the bar last night and got to chatting, nothing amazingly in depth. Just the odd bit of small talk when we happened to pass each other.

We were heading to the pool today and the woman approached me in the changing room with her DD and asked if I could watch her in the pool as her and her DH had arranged to go sight seeing. She said her DD was below the minimum age to take responsibility for herself and needed an adult present.

I said no flat out. I'm not comfortable with children at all and was definitely not up for babysitting someone else's especially when I didn't know them. She huffed for a bit then apologised to her daughter because she couldn't go swimming.

Tonight she has approached my DP at the bar to ask if we can take her tomorrow and claimed that I had said it would be fine.

Obviously the answer was still no. DP seems to think I'm being unreasonable though. To be fair I would question the judgment of anyone that would trust a stranger with their DC but that's just me.

It’s not just the kid but you. What if they accused you of anything or blackmail you. Especially, in a pool, you’d have touch the child to help her along. Nothing is ever a long shot.

This is bizarre behaviour and I am normally the first to offer to watch other people’s kids whilst supervising my own for an hour. But how long is this meant to be for and why on Earth can’t she watch her own child swim? Weird.

I can’t imagine ever asking a stranger to watch my child swimming whilst I went off sightseeing.

Aye, okay.

Just that anyone would think this is appropriate.

Taking her at her word, and they were going sightseeing, such a trip would surely take much longer than a dip in the hotel pool. What did she intend you to do with the girl afterwards? My guess is that you would have been left with her all day.

I wonder what happened to the child after this. Was she left in the room while her parents went out for the day, as they obviously had no intention of taking her with them.

I'd imagine she waited patiently in OP's imagination...

There are people like this - think of the boy that drowned at the outdoor swimming pool. There are parents way to keen to assume others will watch their children. I've had children left in my care several times by virtually unknown carers/parental figures. I may look normal but they have no idea who I am.

There will have been plenty of people that have been pressurised in this way previously.

Well, I hope this isn't true, but sadly, I wouldn't be surprised if it was.

Long

Since you don't have DC yourselves Pixie, you may be lacking perspective on the insanity of what this couple just asked you to do. I know parent behavior and norms were less apparent to me before I had DC myself.

Seriously: this couple are not normal parents to ask you to do something like this. Their DD had never met you, they don't know you from Adam and swimming is something that requires careful supervision not to mention the sensitivities about helping a stranger's child get undressed and showered and dressed.

Absolutely insane! I can't even believe any non-abusive parent would ever do this. It shows neglect of their DD.

Creepy

Poolzilla

I'm struggling to believe this as well. Who would try to give their eight year old daughter to total strangers for the day. That's bordering on abuse.

If this is true I think you should call NSPCC. That's bordering on abuse.

My dd looks younger than she is and could (and does) easily pass for 8/9. For three years she has been old enough to go to the local swimming pool and swim without adult supervision, I don't even need to be in the building now (I actually helicopter parent from the viewing area just incase and she usually swims with friends but she could under their rules). Dd is probably a more technically skilled swimmer than I am now so more likely to rescue me. I imagine that the hotel swimming pool does not have a life guard and so that is a substantial difference.

I am in no way saying that the OP should take any responsibility and the mother is a CF, plus the hotel have their own rules. I am just highlighting that my dd is often mistaken for a child three years younger yet she is perfectly capable of getting changed unaccompanied, swimming competently and then getting dressed again.

OP you were right not to assume responsibility and if there is no lifeguard then I would not be happy for my dd to swim alone, however the concept of a child who looks 8/9 swimming unaccompanied in a pool if there is a lifeguard is not that outrageous. Asking a stranger to look after your child is weird and irresponsible though.

You're not being the slightest bit unfair

What a cheeky bitch!

Enjoy your holiday

Personally- if this is true- next time I was approached by her I’d be saying ‘I don’t have my own kids because I can’t stand kids. What on earth makes you think I want to be palmed off with a strangers kid!? It’s insane that you’re asking someone you don’t know to babysit- I don’t even know you or your kid- nor do I want to! Now bugger off and leave me alone’

Very odd! Make sure the hotel are aware!

Massive cheeky fucker
They should have got childcare if they couldn't be arsed to entertain their child on holiday
And who on earth asks a stranger to watch their child?