Replacing jewellery

[Appleandbanana123]

Should I suddenly die, I want my son to have straightforward access to the little that I own. My engagement ring and a few other pieces of jewellery would add to the total but they were purchased by my husband during his trips to Dubai, and I have no receipts or certificates. I could picture my husband wanting to hold on to those and therefore a crazy thought occurred to me: what if I was to replace the gems with fakes and put the money in the bank? Or I could get them evaluated and certified (plus specified in my will?) although there is still a chance that they may go 'walkabout' Also, if something happen such as an accident, perhaps the engagement ring in particular would be lost forever and as such it'd be best to have the money in savings or similar... Please, don't judge...I am just trying to ensure that my son gets everything so that I've left him with some form financial assistance.

Jewellery is worth more and a piece rather than the gems on their own unless they are very high spec diamonds or other precious gems.

*as a piece

What do you mean, peng? Just that: I want for the monetary value of my jewellery to be easily accessible to my son and safely put away should I die. That's it. Of course, instead of the decent with fake gems etc I could just say to my husband that I am selling it all and putting the money aside but I doubt that would go down well.

wine I didn't know that! I suppose that getting all evaluated and certified, plus added to my will should cover it and be a better option...

Why do you think your husband would withhold your possessions from your son should you pass away?

Are you still married to a man who would steal your jewellery when you were dead? Cause sorting that should be a higher priority than fake gems

Yep. Not trusting your husband is the issue here.

Why do you think your husband would withhold your possessions from your son should you pass away?
^^ this

Write a will with who you want to receive specific jewellery.

random for various reasons, that is a possibility. For starters, he may feel that he's entitled to them seeing the he bought them for me in the first place. Secondly, he may argue that my son will just toss all the money away.

However, my husband doesn't need the funds whereas my son will do to help him with uni fees and just getting started in general. I know my son will be totally fine without any financial assistance but, having always had to work very hard for the little I have, I want him to have the helping hand that I never had - which I can of course do while I am still around!

Like I said at the start, please don't judge but let me know if you have any suggestions. Thank you

How old is your son?

Second hand jewellery is worth so little that by the time you get fakes made it doubt you would have much left to leave.

Specify them in your will and get your will registered with the Probate Office. Appoint a solicitor as your executor.

Then if you have any income, look for ways to save a nest egg for your son. I started by saving £1 a week and raised it as often as I could.

He's 18, turning 19 in a couple of weeks. He's currently taking a gap year and working to save up for uni. He's pretty capable and independent, but I want to help financially if I can.

anna thank you I have been saving and also have pensions etc. I just suddenly looked at my engagement ring and it got me thinking but what you say makes sense...

If I was in this position (I'm in Scotland), I would:

1. talk to a solicitor and make a will specifying what you want to leave to your son;
2. choose someone other than your husband to be the executor.

You could always get the jewellery valued now as though for sale, and you will have to pay to do that, but be prepared for it not to be worth all that much.

x-post

Is your son not DH's son and is that why you don't trust him to do the right thing even if you have a Will?

Could you store the jewellery somewhere like a bank box or similar? And just keep access limited to you and your son?

MN is pretty good for advice so you may want to try relationships regarding your husband

Unless you have some extremely valuable jewellery, then this is a fuss over nothing.

Second hand jewellery loses a lot of value.

Do as suggested above and just make it very clear in your will.

Write a will and appoint a reputable soliciter as an executer and ensure your son receives a copy of the will.

Get the Jewellery valued and photographed anyway . I was burgled and wish I had done that . Then just put it in your will .

I would have thought that you don’t need the receipts, just make sure the gifting to you is documented in some way - photos of you wearing it, cards that came with it, etc. and then leave it to your son in your will. But if you have jewelry valuable enough to be considering this for, you should probably speak to a lawyer. Not sure what sort of legacy you’re leaving your son if you can’t trust your DH on this though - might be better for your son if you sorted that out instead.

DH is my seconds husband and not DS' dad.

Lots of great advice, thank you! I have been meaning to get it evaluated and added to the insurance for ages.

On a separate note, I think it's rather naive to make it sound as though these 'tricky' situations are not often present in the mixed family set up. I am not saying that DH would turn his back on DS; he wouldn't. However, with certain things, I would rather not leave it to chance for the reasons that I explained previously.

When I was researching about making a will, I came across various readers' letters to the likes of The Telegraph and similar from people asking for advice on how to ensure that their share of their wealth eventually went to their children and not their husband's children, for example. So either there are plenty of us who simply don't trust our spouses to follow our wishes, or we are just rather hypocritical and in denial of how unpredictable human beings can be.

When I divorced DS' son, not only did be leave me with all the joint debts to pay on my own and refused to pay any maintenance for almost 4 years (until the CSA caught up with him), but he at one point suggested that we sold all the household goods and split the money - no issue with leaving DS and without appliances or furniture. Did I ever expect that of him? No. But then I hadn't seen him with a badly bruised ego until I said that I wanted a divorce. So there.