To ask for the deposit for my wedding cake back?

[Writersblock2]

So my fiancé and I are getting married next week. We booked a baker to custom make our wedding cake approx 11 months ago. Communication was fab to begin with, during the design stage. We agreed on a design and paid the deposit. Some details such as flavours etc were to be decided at a later date.

Fast forward to autumn last year, I sent an email asking a couple more questions before deciding on the last details and asking for the invoice for the balance. No response. I waited a few weeks and sent another email. No response. Waited a few more weeks then commented on their social media. Had an email back very quickly saying they were very busy, answering the questions, and stating the balance wasn’t due until 14 days before the wedding though they’d send me one now if I wanted. I replied with a couple of questions to clarify, plus a request for the invoice. No answer.

Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago. I wanted to get everything finalised with all of our vendors. Sent another email to baker asking the questions again and asking for invoice. Nothing. Heard back from everyone else and got everything else finalised.

Waited another week or so and sent another email politely requesting a response within 48 hours. We are now approaching the third day and still nothing. They haven’t sent me the invoice for the final balance either, despite “their rules” that it should be paid two weeks prior to the wedding.

AIBU emailing requesting our deposit back and cancelling the order? We aren’t in desperate need of the cake (low number of guests - it was a whim purchase and we thought it would look fab in the photos). I could do without the stress of wondering whether they will or won’t show up on the day, and tbh I don’t want to deal with the confrontation if they do (I don’t think I’d be able to stay quiet).

For info, this person has been posting on FB the entire time I’ve been waiting on emails. They are incredibly talented, and I feel sad that it has come to this. But I feel like I’m being taken for an idiot at this point. WWYD?

I would comment on their social media/FB page, given that got a quick response last time, asking what is going on. If the cake is actually being made, it seems a shame to cancel given that you actually wanted it (even if you don't need it, iyswim). I also wouldn't rate your chances of getting the deposit back without an awful lot of effort and expense on your part.

I would ask for the money back, but they may not give it to you. Did you take out wedding insurance?

I get your point, but I can’t see them making the cake without the bulk of their money, which they’ve failed to invoice for, or the finalised details.

small claims court isn't expensive. Post on her social media advising that due to a complete lack of contact on her part you have lost faith. I would not take the chance given your experiences thus far

Gosh, you sound like hard work!

Not being hassled to pay for something is what most people aspire to 😂

The key questions are:

Are you just wanting to get out of it because you have realised it's wasteful and a whim purchase?

Do you think they will actually produce a cake?

If you are willing to honour your side by paying (probably when they deliver...) and you think they are a decent company who will be making your cake in time, then just leave it. And enjoy the cake when it arrives :-)

I'm sorry to say, I don't think you'll be taking delivery of a cake at all!

Assuming your wedding is next saturday, and your cake is relatively straightforward she would need to start actually baking the cake no later than about tuesday of next week (i.e. 72 hours from now). If you haven't paid her yet, then she is unlikely to have ordered her ingredients and materials etc.

If you're not that fussed, then no problem. You're being far more charitable than you out to be though IMO, I'd be very angry!

Can you call them? Go round?

How much deposit did you pay?

SueSueDonahue Excuse me? No, I am fully prepared to pay for the cake, hence me sending the emails requesting the invoice! There’s a difference between wanting it (which we clearly did) sand needing it (which we don’t). I’m not sure if I was clear in my post but my point is: how can she deliver the cake on the day when we hadn’t finalised all of the details OF the cake?

Can't you call them and have a conversation instead of relying on email?

MaryMaryFairlyContrary Thanks, I have no idea of the timeline of this sort of thing but that makes sense. I am angry, but we have a million things going on (buying a house too) so a lack of cake is the least of our problems. It’s the not knowing that’s doing my head in. Thanks for your support. :)

For thread info: deposit was only small (less than £100) but that’s not the point.

Their preferred communication was email because they are generally not in their “studio”

Post on their social media requesting a return of your deposit immediately.

Lol at YOU being hard work!!!

OP, cancel. You don't need the stress. Absolutely not on to not reply to you when they are clearly aware you're trying to contact them. They are flakes - cancel it!

@Writersblock2

If you do want the cake and there is zero evidence that they have ever not produced a cake before, I'd just hang in there then.

I've worked with cake bakers before. The independent companies often have baked cakes freshly frozen and ready to go (a frozen cake is easier to shape!) and you'll get a call when they need clarification on flavours and extra details.

£100! That's huge deposit, may I ask what is the total price of the cake?

I'm a (high end) wedding cake maker and charge £50 as a 'save the date'. Balance due 4 weeks before delivery (as I often have to specially order in materials/tools).

In fairness though, it is incredibly difficult to answer the phone while working as once you've touched the phone, you have to go through the whole hand washing/nail scrubbing/drying rigmarole all over again before you can touch anything edible.

Does seem odd to be honest and not a good way to conduct business.

I don't actually think you sound difficult at all, had they responded appropriately I don't think you'd have emailed them so much would you?

Have you decided your flavours etc? If not then I don't think you can expect your cake I'm afraid

I had this with two vendors at my wedding. One was a children's entertainer who refused to answer any emails after the low deposit was paid and then we heard on the grapevine how she'd been declared bankrupt and homeless so we decided not to take any further action and hired another entertainer. The original entertainer turned up on the day and expected payment.
The second was my florist who I requested meetings with various times as I know nothing about flowers but had a specific bouquet in mind if more foliage and berries than flowers which I'd sent her photos of and she'd confirmed. She politely told me she'd be in touch before the wedding and one week till the day I still hadn't heard from her so when I rang her to confirm everything was ok she gave me an earful saying how was she meant to get specific flowers a week before hand ect and why hadn't I been in touch sooner. It's really hard op as you pay money in good faith and then people let you down. With regards to the cake I'd keep posting on social media and let your venue know the situation as our venue got rid of the entertainer who turned up demanding payment and only told us about it after the wedding so as not to ruin our day.

I think the comments about OP being hard work were tongue in cheek.

In my opinion they should refund your deposit as your order has not been fulfilled and their communication is dreadful!

Message on their Facebook page very publicly. X

You could contact Trading Standards see what they suggest. If the cake does not materialise and you paid the deposit by CC then you might be able to get the deposit back through your CC issuer.

Do you want the cake still if they suddenl;y said they'd do it or would you rather just cancel now as it has been such a poor experience? I have had success in getting money repaid in the past by looking up the company registered address(easy to find online and often just a residential house/their home) and sending a letter with attached copies of the paper trail (emails etc).

How can anyone say you are being hard work

The simple facts are they don't even know the final design of the cake and your wedding is less than a week away.

I would message them once more on social media and ask for the deposit to be refunded they have not kept to their end of the agreement and without contacting you there's no way they can provide a cake for your wedding, therefore you should be entitled to it back and I would love to hear their argument if they say its non refundable.

She doesn’t freeze them - she stated as such at the start of the process.
MaryMary - sorry, I mentioned less than £100. I don’t really want to state the whole price. I didn’t think it was horrendous though.

Number of emails: I have sent less than a dozen in total over 11 months, the majority of which were us going back and forth at the start to agree on design. I sent two in Oct/early Nov, which was over six months after we agreed and deposit was paid, the first requesting the invoice and trying to clarify for flavours, the second resending that to try and get a response, the third a few weeks ago saying it’s getting close and can we finalise? And the fourth a few days ago saying I was worried and needed a response. So I don’t think I’ve sent an unreasonable volume of emails.

I was still backing and forthing on flavours - the questions not answered were regarding some.

We had this issue. It turns out her business was in trouble. Luckily we managed to source an alternative in enough time. It sounds like you are being strung along on a false promise. If I were you I would try and get your deposit back and go elsewhere.

Bad experience here. I paid £100 deposit to a cake baker for my sisters wedding gift who was exactly like this. Perfectly nice and accommodating in the beginning. Then absolutely no communication leading up to the wedding.
She ended up being a complete scammer. And had done it to hundreds of brides. Not just cakes but also to supply venue decorations. Her whole scam got blown open when people started going to the police and trading standards. and she is due to appear in court soon. She scammed thousands out of people.
It was all over the papers etc. Turns out she even arranged a huge charity night to raise money for cancer I think, sold tickets, got raffle prizes, then took all the money herself. I think she is also going to court for that. It also turned out she had done it in her previous area where she lived.
Hope it’s not the same person again!!!

In fairness though, it is incredibly difficult to answer the phone while working as once you've touched the phone, you have to go through the whole hand washing/nail scrubbing/drying rigmarole all over again before you can touch anything edible.
But, you can return the call when you are done, or answer an email when you get it. Your business isn’t just making cakes, it is providing a service. If you don’t answer or respond to customer calls, you won’t have much of a business.