To ask for the deposit for my wedding cake back?

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So my fiancé and I are getting married next week. We booked a baker to custom make our wedding cake approx 11 months ago. Communication was fab to begin with, during the design stage. We agreed on a design and paid the deposit. Some details such as flavours etc were to be decided at a later date.

Fast forward to autumn last year, I sent an email asking a couple more questions before deciding on the last details and asking for the invoice for the balance. No response. I waited a few weeks and sent another email. No response. Waited a few more weeks then commented on their social media. Had an email back very quickly saying they were very busy, answering the questions, and stating the balance wasn’t due until 14 days before the wedding though they’d send me one now if I wanted. I replied with a couple of questions to clarify, plus a request for the invoice. No answer.

Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago. I wanted to get everything finalised with all of our vendors. Sent another email to baker asking the questions again and asking for invoice. Nothing. Heard back from everyone else and got everything else finalised.

Waited another week or so and sent another email politely requesting a response within 48 hours. We are now approaching the third day and still nothing. They haven’t sent me the invoice for the final balance either, despite “their rules” that it should be paid two weeks prior to the wedding.

AIBU emailing requesting our deposit back and cancelling the order? We aren’t in desperate need of the cake (low number of guests - it was a whim purchase and we thought it would look fab in the photos). I could do without the stress of wondering whether they will or won’t show up on the day, and tbh I don’t want to deal with the confrontation if they do (I don’t think I’d be able to stay quiet).

For info, this person has been posting on FB the entire time I’ve been waiting on emails. They are incredibly talented, and I feel sad that it has come to this. But I feel like I’m being taken for an idiot at this point. WWYD?

YANBU

Of course you should get your deposit back.

Thanks for all of your help! I just wanted to get other people’s opinions because it feels such a shame to feel I have to ultimately leave bad reviews for someone so talented, but the communication has really been awful. And she has our money!

peppermintcandy88 thanks for the tip re venue, great idea! I’m sorry that happened to you. I don’t understand the florist’s response at all - if they’ve agreed you’re business it’s on them to make sure they contact you as and when to produce the final product!

I'd ring them up and ask them what they're playing at. This isn't good at all. No wonder you have no faith in them. Or call at their premises if they have any.

I would post on their social media and if the cake is not delivered or you have no reply by the wedding then i would post again on their social media demanding a refund of the deposit.

If you don’t answer or respond to customer calls, you won’t have much of a business

Not wishing to derail, but why do MN threads always take this turn?

I comment that its difficult to answer the phone while working, and it is misconstrued into never responding to customer calls.

Very odd.

Of course there should have been better communication, and of course YANBU to want your deposit back if the cake is not produced.

However, given that you aren't too fussed whether the cake appears or not, from your POV I don't see any advantage to doing anything about it at this particular moment. You must have plenty of more important things to be getting on with before the wedding.

Why don't you just shelve the issue for now? If the cake turns up on the day, great. If it isn't the flavour or design you wanted, demand a partial refund on the basis that your attempts to communicate your needs were ignored. If the cake doesn't turn up at all, demand a return of your deposit and more toward small claims court rapidly if it isn't forthcoming.

In fairness though, it is incredibly difficult to answer the phone while working as once you've touched the phone, you have to go through the whole hand washing/nail scrubbing/drying rigmarole all over again before you can touch anything edible.

She's managing to Facebook with no problems at all. Maybe she's got an amazing third hand she uses for social media, which sadly hasn't worked out how to reply to emails yet

@FizzyGreenWater You’re making me laugh, thank you.

So I’ve sent a message on FB. I like Saracen’s idea, however. So I’m going to stop chasing now and see what happens.

...but I wasn't talking about emails, I was talking about answering the phone.

You've even quoted the part of my post where I was talking specifically about answering the phone

Well, hopefully she'll respond, at least you will be able to see when its been read

Does she have a business twitter feed? posting on that has the benefit that she won't be able to delete it as she can a fb post (on her wall)

Well it's not odd MaryMary because the Op has detailed a lengthy time period with little or no response. Saying it's difficult to answer the phone while working in the context of this thread misses the point.

Op I would definitely phone and leave a message stating you are concerned by the lack of contact and that if you haven't heard from them by X time/day you will be canceling and expect the deposit back.

What's the difference mary? she would have to go through the same hygiene rigmarole either way.

Replying to email (and returning calls) can be done all at the same time, when its convenient.

If you are constantly breaking off what you are doing to answer the phone as and when it rings you end up getting nothing done/having to repeat tasks.

Bakers can do this, but most would have to increase prices quite significantly to cover the fact that an hour long job would end up taking two or more, or to pay for a receptionist etc.

(although I do agree that not responding at all is pretty poor)

Is she actually working OP? what sort of stuff is she posting on her feed?

Saying it's difficult to answer the phone while working in the context of this thread misses the point

Actually, it was in response to OP's saying that the baker preferred to communicate via email, not phone.

I would order one from M&S. half the price and reliable.

You'll not get a cake off that flake.

I'm wondering whether she feels an invoice isn't necessary as you know what balance is due, and that she doesn't need to communicate till you give her the final details. Though obviously it would be sensible to say so if that is the case.

Yes, she’s working. I like to give the benefit of the doubt but since she already responded once to my nudging her on FB before she should have had more sense to keep an eye on things.

We will definitely just be buying a random shop cake if this falls through. Or nomming our way through my mum’s leftover Xmas cake.

BashStreetKid - no, I specifically asked her for an invoice for the balance months ago, which she said she’d send immediately.

Highly recommend M and S wedding cakes - cheap and nice flavour if she doesn't deliver. Have a look online.

Maybe send her a final message (and a nudge on FB to say you have) saying you expect contact from her to finalise details by end of Monday otherwise you'll assume it isn't going ahead and will expect your deposit to be returned.
I hope you enjoy your wedding, with or without cake :)

We had an M&S cake - it was lovely. You do have to order though.

Yeah, just had a peek and we don’t have enough time for an M&S cake.

Do you have a Patisserie Valerie near you?They can make cakes at very short notice.

Post on the public wall being honest and asking if she is still making your cake for X date as she still hasn't invoiced you, but if she is making it to send invoice ASAP for immediate payment.

As an FYI I love cake and have been to countless weddings yet I have never eaten a bit of wedding cake!