DM, babysitting and the jumperoo

[SugarPlumpFairie]

I had to leave my 6mo DD the other day as I had to go to a meeting that wouldn't have been appropriate to bring her along to. My DM very kindly offered to have her for a few hours. I had to concerns as she's looked after her several times before with no issue and they have a good relationship.

When I picked up DD after the meeting, my mum was eager to show me videos and pictures of her having fun in a jumperoo. I have told my mother several times that I don't want to use a jumper for her because of lots of research showing it's not great for babies hip development. It transpires that she'd gone out and bought a second hand one anyway behind my back.

When I expressed how annoyed I was that she'd ignored my wishes, she tried to justify herself by showing and saying how much of a great time DD had. For me though that's not the point, it's more so that she ignored my express wishes for DD not to use one and the reasons behind why I made that decision.

AIBU to be really annoyed that she's effectively ignored my parenting choice and to worry about trusting her to babysit again? I'm prepared to be told I'm overreacting about my pfb.

I don't want this to turn in to a debate about using or not using baby bouncers, you go for whatever works for you and your child, it's just not for me.

I remember the custard story!

so will just need to wait and see and hope she respects me when we have a difference of opinions.

You have, over this, and she's specifically overridden you and gone out and bought something you were clear that you did not want your child having.

It's as pp have said - nothing to do with a jumperoo - everything to do with respect, and you trusting her to follow your rules because you're the mum.

Nip this in the bud now. Grandparents do this as at some level, they see you, the mum, as THEIR baby - so they can override. They can't, and if they do, you'll fall out which would be a shame.

You need to be able to trust her. A good granny can be trusted.

My comment is helpful because you are overreacting and damaging your relationship with your MIL. Just chill. It's not a big deal.

"My comment is helpful because you are overreacting and damaging your relationship with your MIL."

In your opinion!(and it's Op's mum, not MIL).

There are loads of things you may not want to be part of daily life at home but are ok as occasional things at grandparents - sugar, snacks, tv, jumparoos are all things that parents can be strict about but still allow grandparents who only visit/babysit ocassionly to do differently. I think it’s healthy for children to see that some environments are different and some things allowed in one place but not another.

I understand but do think you are being very PFB and that there is something sad about crushing these happy harmless GP bonding moments with strict rules.

Hear! hear! Thymeout.

I would be annoyed.

It's not a mindless 'oh I wonder if she'd like this'. It was all planned in advance. She heard you say no jumperoos. She went out and bought one anyway. After your specific instructions not to.

I would be making it really clear. Your baby. Your rules. She can't abide by them that's fine. But no sole Nan/baby time for her then.

does she override you on other things?