Would you be offended by this?

[DidIgetitwrong]

Early 2017 my MIL was diagnosed coeliac. It's been really tough for her adjusting her entire life particularly as FIL has to have gluten in his diet for his own medical reasons.

MIL gets two christmas presents from us, one for me and DH and one from DD (whose 2). DH decided to make some shortbread from us, gluten free which I thought was really thoughtful.

I don't know much about coeliacs so decided to avoid MIL having a reaction or not being able to use her present from DD I'd get some nice toiletries which were gluten free (took a bit of research but I found them) and some nice candles with the letters on which spell out what DD calls MIL --would out me so can't say what she calls her-.

DD was very happy, helped me wrap it and on Christmas Day handed over the present. I was really pleased with myself. DD is PILs only grandchild so I like to show her how to buy thoughtful gifts as they spend a lot on DD buying her something nice that she will love.

Was telling a friend about it today and she said that I'd have made MIL feel stupid and inferior as I bought separate toiletries and I should of just got her some normal stuff and let her choose if she uses it or not. Apparently she'd have been both gutted and offended by the gift and would have returned the stuff unused to the shops or sent it to a charity shop.

I feel really gutted I may have offended my lovely MIL as that was not my intention she will know I chose the present from DD as she's too little to do so herself and I do all the shopping

So AIBU to have done this? And would you be offended if it was your DIL/DGD?

If your friend thinks people are capable of feeling inferior over toiletries she has issues.

I cannot see anyone caring other than that she might think it is thoughtful to buy ones she can use.

Bizarre sh1t stirring from your friend.

Your friend sounds seriously unhinged. As an aside, I had no idea gluten free toiletries even existed and I doubt they serve any practical purpose as surely you don't ingest shower gel?

Your friend is a loon, and you sound lovely and thoughtful.

As a coeliac who has only recently discovered that I DO actually react to wheat protein in most shampoos and conditioners, I can assure you that your present was VERY thoughtful. I would assume she would appreciate it.

You’ve got one weird friend there. I didn’t even know you could buy different toiletries for coeliacs. As a Crohn’s sufferer, if there was such a product for us, I’d be touched if somebody had bought it especially for me.

I would have thought this was a nice thing to do, however As you don’t eat toiletries some normal would have thought normal ones would be fine. The shortbread sounds a nice idea. I have wheat intolerance so I understand the problem

Another coeliac here, not really aware of gluten free toiletries and I guess this would colour my response. Are they 'nice' things or is it the equivalent of giving someone who has dandruff T-Gel for Christmas, i.e. functional but not really a gift?

I actually hate it when people get me gluten free stuff (although I wouldn't say anything) because half of it is shit and it's also expensive and I hate to think of others wasting money.

Your friend is an arsehole...do not listen to her!

What you did was lovely and thoughtful.

Your friend is weird. As a MIL myself I'd have been thrilled.

Are gluten free toiletries actually labelled massively as GLUTEN FREE!!! There is the possibility that (unless you told her otherwise) MIL will just think 'oh look, those are new toiletries that I've not seen before, and how sweet, candles that spell out my name.'

I've given non-diabetics diabetic food before, because it wasn't labelled in MASSIVE BIG LETTERS - HEY GUYS, THESE THINGS ARE ONLY FOR THE DIABETICS AMONG YOU, YOU KNOW, THOSE PEOPLE WHO CAN'T EAT TOO MUCH SUGAR!!!
In other words, you were thoughtful, MIL might not even have noticed how thoughtful, and your friend is weird.

Is your friend always weird?

Your friend was being a bitch. This isn't about the gift. Clearly it's thoughtful, and really who gives a shit what you give your mother in law. Were you maybe boasting about how thoughtful you were and She decided to give you a right good kick? Is she divorced or single and envious about your mother in law and your relationship?

Either way this isn't about the gift, it's about your relationship with your friend and the fact she was being nasty to you,

She isn't your friend. I think that's what you need to think about. Does she attack and belittle you often?

Your friend is a moron

My husband is gluten free and was excited to note that he could eat his new deodorant if he so fancied as it was labelled gluten free!

Maybe they were annoyed that you described your daughter "whose 2". I'd probably NC.

Unless the op handed her friend a note to tell her how old her child is that's unlikely to be the reason. But well done for knowing where apostrophes go - it's really impressive 👏