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AIBU?

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Original poster

Pissed off with this maternity nurse thing

62 replies

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 05/01/2018 22:30

DH does a job involving babies and obviously comes into contact with parents and sometimes maternity nurses.

We are doing major renovation work and basically living in one room and all sleeping in one - us and our 4,3 and 2 year olds

Tonight he has appeared home to advise that he was chatting to a parent and some super nanny woman (whom he has met a lot before) who has been brought into install a sleep routine for a 9 month old. DH to advise on health issues

All of our DCs are great sleepers but our 2 year old has been waking in the night since we all had to sleep in one.room. She has a drink (of water) and goes straight back to sleep. As we are all in one room, I dont want her crying so just let her have the water asap and all is well

DH - for some god foresaken reason - decided to tell super nanny woman and the parents about 2 year old not sleeping through whilst omitting to say we are all in one room and she wakes for aboit 60 seconds. Super nanny then proceeded to say that it sounded like we needed her to come and sort out a routine for us blah blah fuck off!

I am furious. I am not there to be made to look like shit mother of the year by omission and and to be used as some apocryphal tale of doom by this super nanny person. Basically, I dont try and make my DH look like a dick in public or tell lies tales about my DCs as part of general chit chat with parents and super nanmy twat

I am really pissed off about this and DH does not seem to get this at all. I may have to kill him

OP posts:
HatingTheBigShow · 05/01/2018 22:33

Eh? My three-year-old doesn't sleep through. It's never occurred to me that anyone would think me a shit mum over it.

Lj8893 · 05/01/2018 22:37

She sounds like a twat. Also, are you not in U.K.? What's a maternity nurse?

Original poster
Gobbolinothewitchscat · 05/01/2018 22:37

Obvs the general public wouldnt but this super nanny mentalist does. That's how she gets business and I do not appreciate our own, personal, arrangements and business being used as part of her sales pitch to parents. And she can fuck right off with her offer to come and visit us

OP posts:
RhodaBorrocks · 05/01/2018 22:37

If it's her job she's probably trying to your for more business wherever she can.

I wake up in the night for longer than that and I'm 36 - doubt she'd come round and "sort me out". Ignore her, she's probably just trying to guarantee her next pay check.

Original poster
Gobbolinothewitchscat · 05/01/2018 22:38

We are in the UK. I have no idea what she does apart from go to the houses of people who feel their babies should be sleeping through

OP posts:
HoldMeCloserTonyDanza · 05/01/2018 22:38

The super nanny woman does not think you’re a shit mother. She almost certainly doesn’t think of you at all.

Your DH was making small talk at work. Neither the full story, or his half-story, makes you look bad.

No strangers give a shit about how much your kid sleeps or what it says about you.

RhodaBorrocks · 05/01/2018 22:38

*tout for more business! FFS

Princesspinkgirl · 05/01/2018 22:39

Bizarre id tell your DH to tell her to do one

totalturmoil · 05/01/2018 22:39

Wow, bit hardcore. Perhaps she is trying to be kind?

Calvinlookingforhobbs · 05/01/2018 22:39

You need to calm down. Him discussion tour kids normal sleep habits is not a reflection of your failings. I say this with kindness, calm down!

Lj8893 · 05/01/2018 22:39

So is she a maternity nurse? I thought a maternity nurse was like a nurse that assisted obstetricians, like in parts of America where they don't have midwives.

Complete derail, I'm just intrigued!

Original poster
Gobbolinothewitchscat · 05/01/2018 22:40

It's the thought of them all discussing it in aghast tones. I feel quite murderous.

OP posts:
totalturmoil · 05/01/2018 22:40

Ps bit hardcore of you I mean!

couchparsnip · 05/01/2018 22:40

The nanny person is probably just seeing a business opportunity. Don't kill him, she is maybe good at getting this stuff out of people.

Knittedfairies · 05/01/2018 22:40

She thinks she's found her next mortgage payment...

HoldMeCloserTonyDanza · 05/01/2018 22:41

The “aghast tones” is just you assuming the worst of all of them though. Why do you do that, is there a backstory?

Honestly the women were probably bored shitless by him.

Original poster
Gobbolinothewitchscat · 05/01/2018 22:42

I think I'm cross as I'm not sure I agree with the concept. I do think some parents need help (not me, thanks) but she sounds like a cross between Nanny McPhee and Ann Widdicombe

OP posts:
totalturmoil · 05/01/2018 22:43

@Lj8893 a maternity nurse is someone who comes to look after your baby in your home, ie in the nights as well as day time. I had one for all of my children - bliss. Basically you get to truly enjoy them without feeling like a corpse. So you still feed in the night for example but she will do the winding \ nappy / waking up for more food. That’s one example. Very expensive tho. But all mine sleep beautifully and I think she makes a big difference in that sense.

trilbydoll · 05/01/2018 22:44

Let her come round. Show her the one room. Describe the drink situation. Ask exactly what she thinks is so terrible and what she would do differently, considering the other children and the temporary room arrangements. Ideally lay it on really thick 'I'm at a total loss as to what to do. She's only awake for 2 minutes so there's not time to do much. She only wants a drink, should I give her something else? The others are not disturbed, but perhaps I should wake them up too? This parenting thing is Just So Hard'

WorraLiberty · 05/01/2018 22:44

You're annoyed with your DH (and rightly so).

That doesn't make this woman a twat or any other insults being thrown at her.

Lj8893 · 05/01/2018 22:44

I've just googled maternity nurse, so she's like a private glorified health visitor?

Kitsharrington · 05/01/2018 22:45

Why would you care what a woman you’ve never met thinks about you?

Original poster
Gobbolinothewitchscat · 05/01/2018 22:45

The nanny person is probably just seeing a business opportunity

What? A two year old who wakes up for 30 seconds a night for some water?

She also offered to come and help ME. Why not DH?! Are these dreadful sleeping habits not equally his responsability?

OP posts:
Original poster
Gobbolinothewitchscat · 05/01/2018 22:47

Let her come round. Show her the one room. Describe the drink situation. Ask exactly what she thinks is so terrible and what she would do differently, considering the other children and the temporary room arrangements. Ideally lay it on really thick 'I'm at a total loss as to what to do. She's only awake for 2 minutes so there's not time to do much. She only wants a drink, should I give her something else? The others are not disturbed, but perhaps I should wake them up too? This parenting thing is Just So Hard'

I may actually do thisGrin

OP posts:
JustVent · 05/01/2018 22:49

Gobbolino your post said that your DH failed to disclose the current living situation.

So the nurse wasn’t to know that. She was doing her job and offering her services not offering to cut your fanny off and fry it.

You seem angry as though they were slatinf your parenting and had a ‘better idea’. My DH did this once and I wanted to slap him as well. It was an insult to my parenting.
I was BU as well but couldn’t see it at the time.

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