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AIBU?

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Original poster

Pissed off with this maternity nurse thing

62 replies

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 05/01/2018 22:30

DH does a job involving babies and obviously comes into contact with parents and sometimes maternity nurses.

We are doing major renovation work and basically living in one room and all sleeping in one - us and our 4,3 and 2 year olds

Tonight he has appeared home to advise that he was chatting to a parent and some super nanny woman (whom he has met a lot before) who has been brought into install a sleep routine for a 9 month old. DH to advise on health issues

All of our DCs are great sleepers but our 2 year old has been waking in the night since we all had to sleep in one.room. She has a drink (of water) and goes straight back to sleep. As we are all in one room, I dont want her crying so just let her have the water asap and all is well

DH - for some god foresaken reason - decided to tell super nanny woman and the parents about 2 year old not sleeping through whilst omitting to say we are all in one room and she wakes for aboit 60 seconds. Super nanny then proceeded to say that it sounded like we needed her to come and sort out a routine for us blah blah fuck off!

I am furious. I am not there to be made to look like shit mother of the year by omission and and to be used as some apocryphal tale of doom by this super nanny person. Basically, I dont try and make my DH look like a dick in public or tell lies tales about my DCs as part of general chit chat with parents and super nanmy twat

I am really pissed off about this and DH does not seem to get this at all. I may have to kill him

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 05/01/2018 22:53

not offering to cut your fanny off and fry it

Grin Grin Grin

Xmaspuddingdisaster · 05/01/2018 22:55

It is interesting to know that you see a toddler not sleeping through as something to be ashamed about Hmm

Original poster
Gobbolinothewitchscat · 05/01/2018 22:55

I dont actually think her job is to do a hard sell of her services, actually.

I am much more annoyed with my DH as I actually would prefer if our DCs and my alleged made up "problems" etc were not used to make chit chat with randoms.

I dont pretend my DH has s micro penis just so I can strike up a conversation at the school gates

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 05/01/2018 22:56

Super nanny then proceeded to say that it sounded like we needed her to come and sort out a routine for us blah blah fuck off!

How is that offering to come and help you and not your DH? Confused

Is something else bothering you OP, because you do sound rather irrationally annoyed at this woman?

Original poster
Gobbolinothewitchscat · 05/01/2018 22:57

I dont see it as anything to be ashamed off and I am very cross that it was indicated that it was a problem that meant I/we needed super nanny woman's help

OP posts:
JustVent · 05/01/2018 22:58

“Hard well”? What’s made was it about the about the situation that made it a hard sell as opposed to a suggestion or passing comment?

JustVent · 05/01/2018 22:59

Fucking autocorrect. I can’t even blame the wine because dry bloody January.

JustVent · 05/01/2018 23:00

I’m going to try that again because it made no sense.

What made it a ‘hard sell’ to you, as opposed to it just being a suggestion or passing comment...?

RebornSlippy · 05/01/2018 23:01

Wow, you're angry OP. Due to broken sleep perhaps?

plimsolls · 05/01/2018 23:02

She was probably just being polite. I think you’ve made some massive assumptions about what was discussed/intended/perceived, especially with regards to her and her motivations. She probably hasn’t given it (or you) a second thought.

GoldilocksAndTheThreePears · 05/01/2018 23:02

Maternity nurses are self-employed. If someone felt they had an issue with a child bad enough to bring up with a stranger letting them know you offer a service that may cover a need is... normal. If someone was getting married soon and mentioned a need for a photographer and that's what you work as you'd mention it surely?

Often the worst part of working with children is the parents. I've been asked advice and given some and then get rolled eyes and bad attitude. You can't win. It's seen as a personal attack, even very general things get taken so personally!

IrkThePurist · 05/01/2018 23:02

She should have waited til your DH actually asked for her services, and your DH shouldn't have repeated her offer to you unless he actually believes you need her help.

They both sound like they have the social graces of a warthog.

PatriciaHolm · 05/01/2018 23:03

Um. I would suggest sleeping on the issue and addressing again after a good breakfast. You appear to be massively overreacting,unless there is a lot of backstory we are missing.

Original poster
Gobbolinothewitchscat · 05/01/2018 23:03

What made it a ‘hard sell’ to you, as opposed to it just being a suggestion or passing comment..

according to DH, it was used to reassure the parents that they were definitely doing the right thing with maternity nurse woman or else they might...gasp...end up in the same situation as us with the terrible non-sleeping toddler (for 30 seconds a

OP posts:
JustVent · 05/01/2018 23:05

Ok that would piss me off.

I’m quite a defensive person though so I’m probably BU as well.

GoldilocksAndTheThreePears · 05/01/2018 23:05

And Super Nanny Woman seems like an odd insult- I personally trained for years at college, got years of experience, then took several courses and worked my arse off to get solid references before calling myself a maternity nurse. It's like like calling a vet a Super Experienced With Animals Vet. Weird.

JustVent · 05/01/2018 23:08

It’s not weird Goldi it’s just a reference to the Super Nanny programme where the woman helps the parents with children with behavioural or sleep issues.

Original poster
Gobbolinothewitchscat · 05/01/2018 23:08

Often the worst part of working with children is the parents. I've been asked advice and given some and then get rolled eyes and bad attitude. You can't win. It's seen as a personal attack, even very general things get taken so personally

If someone said their 2 year old woke up 30 seconds a night for a drink of water, any reasonsble child care practitioner would say that was well within the bounds of normal plus DH didnt actually ask for any advice. According to him .

It is in no way analagous to someone askkng for a wedding photographer recommendation

OP posts:
Original poster
Gobbolinothewitchscat · 05/01/2018 23:09

She calls herself a super nanny just

OP posts:
thegreatbeyond · 05/01/2018 23:11

It seems pretty odd to be 'murderous' about this, tbh. I couldn't summon up much emotion about it at all myself. Maybe you're more stressed out than you realise.

JustVent · 05/01/2018 23:13

She calls herself super nanny? That’s emabarassing.

And with regards to a child waking, whether is once a night or 63026 times a night until they are 6 (my children!) it’s only a problem if it causes issues with the child or parent dealing with it.
The reason mine were so old when they slept through was because they learned to do sly ninja moves into my bed in the middle of the night, barely ruffling the covers so I didnt even notice they were until morning.

Original poster
Gobbolinothewitchscat · 05/01/2018 23:13

I'm not comforfable with untrue anecdotes about us and our children used as s way to leverage business from parents who do feel vulnerable about this

OP posts:
SockUnicorn · 05/01/2018 23:13

@Gobbolinothewitchscat I agree with you here and would be mortified. DH needs a swift kick :)

PerspicaciaTick · 05/01/2018 23:16

She was hardly going to do a tinkly laugh and agree that sleep routines and maternity nurse's advice are a load of wankery...when she is stood next to a client paying her for sleep routines and maternity nurse's advice.

I doubt she has given you, your DH or your wakeful toddler a moments thought since the conversation ended. Now, you need to forget her too.

Viviennemary · 05/01/2018 23:17

Your DH told her in a way she seemed to think there was a problem with your DD waking in the night. As she is a professional expert on all things baby she spouted forth her advice. I'd not even give her another thought. I thought those maternity nurses specialised in the care of newborns.