I was trying to describe my PIL to friend today and really struggled to not describe them in a way that sounded like I don't like them. I can, they are very kind people and my MIL especially appears to think I can do no wrong and more than anything they totally adores my DC.
Anyway, we spent several nights there over the Christmas period (we live 6 hours drive away). We do this a couple of times a year and after each time it really gets me thinking. Basically they manage to survive entirely on the smallest of small talk and focus entirely on immediate things hand. In the ten years my DH and I have been together they have asked about my job / houae / hobbies / holidays / plans / my family (past immediate hope your parents are well) less than you could count on both hands (combined. We spend considerable time with them and do talk yet they seem to have an inability to hold a conversation longer than a couple sentences into a topic. Meal time conversation lasts a minute of two and is over. one day this trip we went to a local national park and did a big hike (think halfway up peak of a UK mountain range) with two DC under 3. It was the kind of thing my parents were intrigued by, asked about how it went, how long it took, which route, weather, how long, etc etc - yet looking back now when we got home that night i don't think they asked anything about it (despite eating supper, doing bath time etc together). Likewise they didn't enquire what my parents bought DC for Christmas, or what we'd got each other. I can't say they are 'private' people as they do like a gossip. Likewise self absorbed doesn't seem right - thats too simple a definition.
One of the main flare points in our generally happy marriage is when my husband 'locks down' and won't talk about a problem - often it is something he seems unable to do - simply not able to articulate how he is feeling. Whilst I KNOW i overwhelm him with my thoughts, concerns, fears, plans, how I feel, how he makes me feel, etc etc. I come from a family of talkers who enquire about everything - my mum is the kind of person who would remember the life history of old school friends and so I know that a direct comparison are extremes. Anyway, what is the best way to describe this kind of person / family / communication style?