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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to hate my birthday

48 replies

AmberCurtain · 05/01/2018 13:13

It's the same every year. no one gives a fuck.

My boyfriend was supposed to stay tonight to be here in the morning (it'd my birthday tomorrow)

He's just messaged to say he won't be over tonight......will be round first thing tomorrow.......that means lunchtime.

I've just booked tickets to go ice skating for myself and my children.....if he gets here before we leave then he can come too.....if not tough shit. I'm fed up of waiting for anyone else to make an effort to make if special I'm not materialistic.......I don't want expensive gifts. I'd rather do something nice with the kids.....even just go for a walk somewhere pretty.
I dropped lots of hints to go away for the weekend (it was cheap and we could afford it) but he said no.

My boyfriend has probably bought something really lovely but I would rather his time and attention. A card would do me.

my family will make no effort what so ever. The were talking about making plans over Christmas and I actually got shouted at for having a January birthday.

I'm cross with myself for not just booking the weekend and myself and buggering off with the kids.

rant over.

OP posts:
Original poster
AmberCurtain · 05/01/2018 13:15

excuse the typos......my phone is playing up

OP posts:
angstinabaggyjumper · 05/01/2018 13:19

Funny that, I hate my birthday too and mine is also in January.

Original poster
AmberCurtain · 05/01/2018 13:32

It's the way that people get cross with you for hoping for any attention..... yet when their birthday roles up later in the year it's a given that that red carpet is rolled out and the royal fanfare played!

Don't even get me started on the excuses people give me!

OP posts:
Unfinishedkitchen · 05/01/2018 13:41

I feel sorry for you. I have two friends with early January birthdays and I know it’s not their fault but I kind of groan when I see their birthday celebration invites come through on Facebook. I’m over celebrating now. I’m tired, bloated and skint. I do not want to go out to a bar first week of Jan. I just want the party season to be done with for a while but I have to go out tonight.

Original poster
AmberCurtain · 05/01/2018 22:21

I rang my boyfriend to check something this evening and he was in the pub with his mates.......he told me earlier he had too much to do and that's why he couldn't come over. I give up!

OP posts:
PossiblyPFB · 05/01/2018 22:33

My DH has just had his birthday- unfortunately unfinishedkitchen’s statement of sentiment is really common! Everyone is broke from Christmas, hungover from NY and back to work. We always go away the first week of Jan to celebrate as a family as he doesn’t care about a big party or anything like that. Sucks your SO can’t be bothered to see it’s important to celebrate your special (if “inconvenient”) Birthday! Hope you’ve had a nice day regardless! Flowers

Original poster
AmberCurtain · 05/01/2018 23:19

That sounds like the perfect way to celebrate it possiblyPFB

he didn't want to go away. I would have loved to! I think I'm being a bit more tetchy this year because I'm turning 30. I really thought he would have made a fuss......it's his 40th next year and I've planned a party and a trip to the USA. I work part time and earn about 1/3 of what he does but I wanted him to have a birthday to remember.

Maybe next year I'll just bypass everyone else abd book somewhere for myself and the kids.

OP posts:
FluffyWuffy100 · 05/01/2018 23:22

I’ve got a jan birthday but a bit later and there are three of us in 5 days so we’ve often clubbed together and 3 people have enough sway to generate interest.

My other friend is on 3 Jan and she celebrates her in-birthday in June :-)

Fitbitironic · 05/01/2018 23:36

I feel your pain Smile. I've already had my Jan birthday a few days ago. Not even all of my direct family remembered. I gave up asking friends out for drinks many years ago for the reasons pp mentioned.
Moving it to June sounds a good idea, but even less chance of ppl remembering as it's not 'official'? I guess the answer is to move it, them shamelessly publicise it!

MrTrebus · 05/01/2018 23:36

Why exactly is he your boyfriend?move on life's too short to feel like this and to have a shit boyfriend. Have an amazing birthday with just your kids, his loss Flowers

Bumsnetnetbums · 05/01/2018 23:43

Tbh i think birthdays are for kids. I dont celebrate mine whats to celebrate about getting older?! Sorry you feel noone cares. I hate having to buy for others and woyld rather not do birthdays at all except for under 18s.

Original poster
AmberCurtain · 06/01/2018 00:00

It's not that I want gifts.......I've already stated that I'm not materialistic. But recognition of it would be nice.

The boyfriend is a good egg......hes just pissed me off today and I have no one I can really talk to about it so I thought I'd seek sympathy from a bunch of strangers on the Internet.

It just takes the biscuit wjen people who ignore mine expect so.much for theirs.

OP posts:
Angie169 · 06/01/2018 00:09

I have a family member that has her birthday on the 24th dec, so she forgoes that day and celebrates it on the 1st of april as everyone remembers this date as a joke / fool birthday, You should do the same

gttia · 06/01/2018 00:27

Happy birthday. Xxxx

Waitingforsleep · 06/01/2018 07:49

Time to take control and sort your birthday yourself- book what you fancy doing and just treat yourself. When it comes to others birthdays stop putting yourself out so much? I feel very much the same so instead of feeling let down each year I now treat myself to what I want to do etc and it kind of helps.
So have a lovely day today with your kids ice skating!

Pugsleypugs · 06/01/2018 07:56

Happy Birthday AmberCurtain Cake

DayKay · 06/01/2018 07:58

Your boyfriend and family sound rubbish. Stop putting effort into their birthday. You’ll just be really resentful.
Just do what you want to do and have a nice time with your dc.

DayKay · 06/01/2018 08:00

And happy birthday! Hope you have a lovely day. Cake

fessmess · 06/01/2018 08:07

Mine's tomorrow and, yes, a lot of friends are; skint, dry or dieting. I'm going out for tea and cake. Cheap and easy.

fruitofthenight · 06/01/2018 08:18

Happy birthday!

My birthday was a few days ago and I'm firmly in the I hate my January birthday club. I dread the day and have learnt to expect nothing, anything more is a bonus. I hope you manage to have a lovely day

shhhfastasleep · 06/01/2018 08:19

Happy birthday, op. I'm a January birthday as is my niece. Fuck 'em.
My dh once tried the "shall I do a joint Christmas and birthday present ". I told him absolutely not and don't be so stupid.
I'm happy with a wrapped mars bar as long as people make a bit of a fuss.
It'll be my second without my mum. That was more heartbreaking than I thought and I'm determined to enjoy this year.

Chocolatecake12 · 06/01/2018 08:28

Happy birthday!
I feel for you - after all it’s not your fault you were born in January!
In the future you should take matters into your own hands. It will give you what you want and teach your children that your birthday is important.
Hope you have a fabulous day Flowers

lightcola · 06/01/2018 08:28

My birthday is NYE and I hate it every year. Even my mum messaged me to say she almost forgot. I feel for you OP

PervyMuskrat · 06/01/2018 08:28

Happy birthday! Cake Mine is today too but we make sure we celebrate all adult birthdays in our family so although I organise it (as I’m a control freak) we do something nice each year. I hope you have a lovely day and get to do something fun that you enjoy Flowers

PeanutButterIsEverything · 06/01/2018 08:29

Happy Birthday OP and everyone else with a January birthday! I am neither skint, dry or dieting so would happily come out and celebrate your birthdays with you. SIL just had a baby on 4th Jan so I hope her DC doesn't grow up with this. We are TTC no 2 and planning on stopping for March/April if not pg by then to avoid a Christmas/early Jan birthday.

Hope you all have lovely days.

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