to hate my birthday

[AmberCurtain]

It's the same every year. no one gives a fuck.

My boyfriend was supposed to stay tonight to be here in the morning (it'd my birthday tomorrow)

He's just messaged to say he won't be over tonight......will be round first thing tomorrow.......that means lunchtime.

I've just booked tickets to go ice skating for myself and my children.....if he gets here before we leave then he can come too.....if not tough shit. I'm fed up of waiting for anyone else to make an effort to make if special I'm not materialistic.......I don't want expensive gifts. I'd rather do something nice with the kids.....even just go for a walk somewhere pretty.
I dropped lots of hints to go away for the weekend (it was cheap and we could afford it) but he said no.

My boyfriend has probably bought something really lovely but I would rather his time and attention. A card would do me.

my family will make no effort what so ever. The were talking about making plans over Christmas and I actually got shouted at for having a January birthday.

I'm cross with myself for not just booking the weekend and myself and buggering off with the kids.

rant over.

Happy birthday! It's my 40th today and I'm fed up with it too

Happy Birthday!

Have a good day 🍾, enjoy the skating, sometimes you donindeed have to organise stuff yourself.
Happy Birthday 🎂

He doesn't sound nice at all ? He sounds like he's blown you off on your birthday and you've planned a thoughtful trip in advance for his ?

He sounds like a dick

It was mine yesterday. I normally don't mind it too much except for my 21st which was utterly crap for all the reasons pp have already mentioned. I went to the cinema on my 21st! At my 40th I had a new born but my family still tried to make it special for me.

Yesterday I had a lovely day just with the DC and a meal out with DP in the evening. As you say it doesn't need to be much - just some thought.

Sounds like your main issue is a thoughtless family and partner. Hope you manage to have a lovely day in spite of them

Snap OP I've the same birthday as you...it was a bit of a milestone one this year so I got a bit of a fuss as opposed to usual. However DH has been trying to organise some old friends coming over tonight to go for a few drinks and they're all dropping like flies! First week back at work after Christmas and no one has any motivation. There will be a couple though so am looking forward to it.

It sounds more like you have a BF issue. Cancelling on your birthday is pretty shocking! I hop pe you salvage today with your lovely children

My birthday is Jan 2nd. My husband is really good at remembering and always gets me a special gift. Other family and friends don't remember or want to celebrate, and I'm used to it, but I used to feel disappointed. I now just make sure I have a nice day and do what I want. I make sure I'm off work and spend some time with my husband and sons. This year I spent the day in my pyjamas, went to the gym, then out for a meal, then watched mickey Flanagan with a vino. Happy Birthday! Plan yourself a nice day with your kids

Another one who feels your pain as mine falls between Christmas and New Year so no-one ever wants to do anything and most people forget anyway. I'm used to it but one year my DH called my siblings a few days later to point out that none had remembered. Organise something for yourself that you will enjoy and try not to let it bother you.

I hope you have a good time with your children today.
May be reconsider that trip for your boyfriend’s bd? It all sounds very out of balance: you planning celebrations for his bd already while he buggers off to the pub instead of focusing on you briefly. On your 30th! He honestly isn’t behaving like a good egg.

Happy Birthday to all those today!

These threads make me sad every year, DD has her birthday tomorrow and i’m conscious that everyone i meet with early January birthdays hates it! We always make a huge fuss, have never had joint birthday & Christmas presents from anyone and as she’s only 9 hasn’t had an issue with people being too skint or too partied out to celebrate.

Tbh my June b’day as an adult is often a damp squib even though we celebrate it. I’m at work, kids at school. I’m pretty sure that’s how it is now. Even at school / uni it was exam & revision time - I celebrated my 18th doing my business studies a level exam! I think some of it’s down to your friends & family and whether they ‘do’ birthdays or not. Mine were not that arsed growing up.

Take control for next year op, get the kids involved in some planning. A weekend away or something really ‘treaty’. Nice food in or meal out tonight? DVD with the kids after ice skating? Cake! Lots of. Can you book a pamper for yourself later this week as a belated treat? Enjoy your day & your ice skating.

January birthdays are shit!
Both mine and dh are in January.
His the beginning and mine the end.
DH doesn’t even want to celebrate his anymore as he says he has never had a good birthday!
It was my 30th last year and all I wanted was a nice cake as growing up I never had a cake or sang ‘happy birthday’ to.
He got a really nice one from a bakery and it felt so special

Happy Birthday OP, at least it's Saturday.
I think this is something only people with birthdays at this time of year will understand. Mine is the 2nd January and I always feel like apologising to people! This year, my brother gave me a gift card at Christmas which was for a higher amount than what he would normally give at Christmas. I checked the card and it definitely said 'Merry Christmas' (he has given me a joint Christmas and birthday present before). I'm skint and his business is doing well so I assumed he was just being generous and was really chuffed. So, it comes to my birthday and all I got was a card... I'm so disappointed! Why couldn't he just say, or give me two gift cards totalling the same amount on each day? I have half a mind to not give him anything for his birthday in May and tell him his present at Christmas was his birthday present too . I hope you enjoy your day

Cheeky bugger. I'd be fuming too! Tell him you're annoyed. Personally I have to do that or I seethe for ages. Let it all out and I'm fine. Send him a sarky text like you hope he got all his jobs done last night, it's so nice to spend the morning with just the kids. You're wishing you'd just booked to go away anyway. He might just get his arse in gear! Happy birthday

I'm really sorry Amber! That's crap!

My ds's birthday is 2nd January. I always make a big deal of it, definitely no less than his siblings. The presents are all bought and organised at the same time as the Christmas presents (but obviously wrapped in birthday, not Christmas paper). In fact, he tends to do better than his siblings as I tend to then see a couple of things in the shops after Christmas, or I notice he didn't get xyz for Christmas, so he does well out of it from that pot.

Also, his birthday is always a bank holiday, so people have time. He is still just a kid though, just about (17, eek!). I hope that when he has left our loving care, people still give a shit

Have you tried talking to your bf clearly on this? All my dc forgot my birthday one year, and dh was away. I wept. I was so gutted. Now I shamelessly say it's my birthday next week, don't forget. I want (whatever). I never want presents btw, but a cup of tea, lots of hugs, and going to a pub or cafe or something does it for me. Like you said - time and just a bit of love.

I feel your pain op, and all January birthdayers. Mine is this month, mid Jan.
Never really been the happiest of occasions, parents never gave a damn, had to run round family members just to accommodate my birthday plans.
Timing is a pain in the arse as well, as still I’m bloated and stuffed, and have to cut down on food/beer in between now and birthday, or I will end up looking like a beached whale on my birthday.

Happy birthday 💐🎂🍾have a great day with the children, and ditch that no good boyfriend of yours. You deserve much better xxxx

He rang me earlier and asked me what I want to do. I said I have about 6 loads of washing to do and housework......he said you cant do that it's your birthday. I said if no one else is going to treat it ahy differently why should I
Next year I'm definitely going away.

my best friends boyfriends birthday is the day before mine and they've gone away to a cabin in the forest. wish I had followed suit.

my daughter let slip that my family have booked a meal tonight at a nice restaurant so that's something to look forward to.......as long as they don't argue.

I'm going to get my housework donew and then have a nice bath. I love baths!

I also have a birthday this week, and my DS's is next week. I didn't want to saddle any child of mine with a January birthday, but sometimes these things just can't be planned!

I have been the recipient of Christmas cards with "PS happy birthday" written on them, joint Christmas and birthday presents and a general disinterest from friends owing to their lack of funds and motivation to go out anywhere after the festive season. I'm used to it now and just make sure I do what I want for the day and not worry about anyone else.

To be fair, DP always tries to make it special for me, bless him! Yours sounds very selfish.

Happy birthday op!

I hate this idea that because you're not a kid anymore birthdays aren't to celebrate. Why shouldnt we celebrate another year of making it through, celebrating the person you love and making them feel a bit special for one stupid day.
I love other people's birthdays and make quite the fuss. Sadly no one bothers for me and it makes me feel a bit sad.

Happy Birthday, OP!

Another one here with a January birthday. I've had the moans from family and friends, presents wrapped in Christmas paper, joint presents etc. I don't bother organising anything for my birthday now, I just sort myself out and don't expect anything from anyone.

Hope you do something nice today. On my birthday, I'll be taking my DD to her toddler group and then the two of us will go to a cafe for a bite to eat.

Your bf doesn't sound nd like a great id egg tbh.

Fucks sake!

He doesn't sound like a good egg tbh!

Happy Birthday OP

Hope you have a great bath and a lovely meal tonight

One thing I have learnt, and it took me a long time to learn it, is you need to state clearly what you want and expect. Maybe you shouldn't have to, maybe some amazing person would know and act on it without prompting, but often then you're left frustrated and disappointed. Many people are in general lazy, or not good at thinking of others. If they are given direct requests/instructions they are more likely to act on it. That's just how it is.

He rang me earlier and asked me what I want to do. I said I have about 6 loads of washing to do and housework......he said you cant do that it's your birthday. I said if no one else is going to treat it ahy differently why should I

The 'old me' might well have replied like that too. Now I would say the week in advance, please organise something for my birthday - a, b or c would be nice, but you choose which. Or, if I hadn't done that, and he said "you shouldn't be doing that on your birthday", a better response would have been , you're right, you can do it. Or you're right, I'll leave it till tomorrow, what should we do instead? By being pissed off and PA only you lost out :(

But I am sorry. my ds has had 16 amazing birthdays. I hope he doesn't face this crapness when he is older. He can always rely on his old mum I guess.