To expect my 3 year old to stay in his room until the bunny clock wakes up?

[JoshandJamie]

My first ever AIBR post - and I genuinely want to know if I am being unreasonable.

My 3 year old has always been an early waker. Recently he's improved slightly by sleeping till 6 instead of 5am. Now his younger brother has taken over the 5am wake up slot. Sigh.

I have tried for months and months to explain to the 3 year old, that if the bunny clock is still sleeping that means mommy is still sleeping and that he must stay in his room reading books or playing with toys until the clock wakes up.

But every bloody day he comes through to our room (which by this point invariably has younger brother in my bed because he's been up half the night yelling and has finally passed out) and the 3 year old either:

• starts yelling because he wants us all up OR
• gets into my bed and starts writhing around, scraping toenails down my back etc.

Ultimately he wakes up the little one which means game over, the day starts.

Am I being completely unrealistic trying to make him stay playing in his room for an extra 30 mins to an hour (depending on when he wakes up). Is he just to young to get it? And if so, when will he be able to understand this?! Because I wake up in a foul mood every morning now and it makes me ratty with him all day.

Three years of 5am starts is starting to wear a little thin.

Oh, I've so been there! The only thing that worked for us was me going to bed early, so I was ready to get up at 5am. My DS (then 3)was not impressed wtith the bunny and killed him by throwing him down the stairs.

Anna I like reading your posts generally (though I quite often don't agree) but I do find a cot described as forced captivity hilarious

I agree with just persevering with the clock and making life no fun at all until bunny wakes up. DS1 had always been dreadful sleeper and up with the larks then when DS2 came along and into our room he got even worse, so DS2 was despatched to own room, bunny was purchased and we have never looked back. Infact one saturday not long after we had bought it he got woken up by bunny popping up instead of waiting for it. We have always been much more relaxed with DS2 sleep who is 23 months and he sleeps 12 or 13 hours at night and 2 in the day!!

I havent read everything, but here is my advice! Maybe its to light in his room? I know i wake up earlier now that it is lighter! You could try black out blinds then have some fairy lights (blue not pink!!) on a timer to come on at what ever time he can get up.

Ellie, The Great Little Trading company sell bunny clocks, also Trotters if you have one near you.

I'm back with matchsticks holding my eyes open while the little buggers have a snooze (we've been out at softplay so they're zonked. The 3 year old doesn't normally have a day time nap).

Anyway, I think what we need in our house is a new sleep reign of terror.

the problem is that in our old house, they had to share a room. DS1 was a light sleeper so as soon as DS2 woke up and started yelling, we'd be in there like a flash to avoid having DS1 woken up. Subsequently, DS2 got into the lovely habit that if he yells, he will get picked up.

We now have a house big enough for them to each have their own room, but we've kept them in the same room because they genuinely seem to like being together and it's easier for me to have all the kids kit in one place.

But the 19 month old is still being a pain in the butt about waking up at night and having a good yell. We have tried on several 'reigns of terror' moving him out of the room and letting him sleep in the spare room, and doing controlled crying with him.

But he's not had one of those for a while and he seems to be regressing. So I think I need to move him back into the spare room until he sorts his night waking up - with no more coming to my bed.

Then the older one doesn't have to feel jealous or left out (even though he regularly likes to visit our bed too - how this ever happened I don't know because we used to be so hard and fast about him not doing it. Sigh. They wear you down...evil little tykes.)

Then be persistent about him not coming into our room before bunny is up.

sigh. Why do I feel that I have a lovely week coming up?

Good luck JoshandJamie.. you have started a very good thread. Out of all my friends, i seem to be the only one with an early wake up call but now i can see that many toddlers do wake up early!!! Our DD is 21 months old.
My bosses office is in their home and during school holidays, they keep shouting after their 17 & 18 years old daughters to wake them up in the morning. They are usually out of bed by lunch time...
So here we are, to have a baby to a teenager, mornings will be always a fight

how about leaving some toys on the landing just outside hiw room? i've done this with dd. if it's a toy she hasn't played with for a while it can distract her & i hear her playing on the landing until she remembers her original plan and comes in to see us.
keep a stach of toys hidden & vary them.

I'm definitely of the Montessori childproof-your-home school of thought... Children behind bars in their own home make me shudder. Of course, out there in the big bad world there are many inescapable dangers that make restraint necessary. But I still prefer the bus to a car seat, walking slowly to the buggy etc. And I think children learn SO much more when you can slow life down to their pace and let them learn as soon as possible how to negotiate the world, rather than protecting them from it.

Do you not have a buggy then Anna? Or a carseat?

Our buggy days are over (daughter is 2.5). There is a car seat in her father's car, since that's the law, but mostly we take the bus/train/metro/walk.

What I don't know is whether my daughter is so agile and well-coordinated because of my approach of letting her get on with things as much as possible, or whether she was just made that way... but the fact is, she IS incredibly well-coordinated and aware of her surroundings and own safety

Depends whether you have a huge zoo/menagerie of large numbers of small children pushing and shoving each other and rujning off at all directions or one nice tidy neat single child though I suspect. Ours have been more like needing to be herded like flocks of sheep into safe areas rather than having one on one parent to look after them.

My sister's always disturb her. She never calls me without having about 10 issues with her children and how hard her life is. She seems unable to stop them doing things in a way I can not that I'm particularly strict. it is as if they are in charge in a way. But on her sleeping issue I think it's just that they and she go to bed so very early hence they wake early. But even so mine at the age of hers (6) would not have disturbed me - they'd go down stairs and watch TV or something, not come thundering on my door requiring I wake up by that age. (Babies adn toddlers obviously are different.

lol at menagerie

Although I only have one child, we've never lived in a house where only one child and two parents were living - there have always been at least two more of us than that at home, and since we travel a lot and stay in other houses our usual environment is far from being some kind of "one child safe place". So I think the principle is quite workable with more children, as long as everyone is aware of it.

When we were on holiday over Easter sharing a chalet with another family I was quite amused to see the other father in the group get all anxious about closing doors above stairs etc for my child (his were all older), whereas, once I had checked her out all over the house, I was quite relaxed about everything.

I have to carry her sometimes . But she completely refuses to go near a buggy, so it's not so much my victory as hers.

I agree. It totally depends on the child. Absolutely. And you would agree if you had a fearless child who just hasn't been born with a regard for their own safety and who feels they are absolutely immortal, able to stop cars with a wave of their hand.

'behind bars in their own home'...LOL...

mumto3girls - it doesn't make me laugh when I see children's homes littered with little cages to restrain them.

Lots of people think that this is one of the causes of dyspraxia.

Yeah well, some kids need restraining, they're a peril to themselves. Some are naturally cautious, others would chuck themselves off the roof to see what happens, and do it again straight away at the first opportunity. I'm glad you feel comfortable enough in your own child rearing to judge those whose child isn't as docile as yours, though.

Some children stop when they are told to stop, understanding utterly that some things are dangerous and hurt.

Others don't stop after a screaming with fear parent and a broken bloody arm.