To think the novelty of motherhood can wear off

[Winosaurus]

This is lighthearted before anyone takes it too seriously

So before kids I was desperate for them, thought I’d be like Maria Von Trapp and love every second.
Kids are now 7 & 3 and I’ve had enough of playdoh, CBeebies, being used as a human climbing frame.
Yesterday I hid in my en suite bathroom pretending to the kids I was having a poo because I was secretly eating a mars bar a didn’t want to share with them
Currently dreaming of being 20-something and on a beach sipping cocktails

Also I’ve heard the word “snack” for the 5678th time this morning already and it’s only 9am

YANBU in the slightest

Mine are in their 20s, but i do remember these days so well. it will pass - time does fly by so quickly with little ones.
mind you, i'm still not sipping cocktails on any beach! lol.

Yeah but they grow up and then you can enjoy other things with them, like sipping cocktails on the beech :-)

Yanbu at all. I’ve just as to pack my tear stained 5 yo off to school. Yesterday we were told they should bring in their favourite toy from when they were a baby to school tomorrow. Ds hasn’t looked at his Binky Bunny toy since he was 2, we couldn’t find itobviously, he was heartbroken, no other toy would suffice. Ds2 is currently plugged into CBeebies while I try and pluck up the courage to tidy up the house that was trashed during the search.

I thought I’d be making treasure trails in the woods, spend every day in the fresh air, we’d all eat wonderful food and never watch tv. I’m currently eating an ice pop.

I had visions of baking cakes, nursery rhymes and cuddles on the sofa... my 3yo has just farted on my head... deliberately.
Too early for wine?

I’m currently hosting a sleepover for 3 x 7yo girls. They are very very loud. I thought they might perhaps watch a film or play a game but no they are running round the house like lunatics
Looks calmer in films....

I had a very romantic view of it all too, i dont think that many people go into parenthood with all the facts to be honest, i certainly didnt! children are messy and selfish and hard work - there are lots of rewards, but its finding those within the day to day things that makes it hard going.

DS is a similar age to your older one and we've just discovered I'm expecting again. We've picked up a few books that we had last time round, and ventured near CBeebies again, and wondered what the hell we're doing this again for.

Kepp chocolate spread on a high shelf in the kitchen and eat it from the jar with a teaspoon as an instant sugar rush that you can hide from young children. And stick them in the bath when you've had enough. DH always knew if the toddler was in the bath when he got home it had been a trying afternoon.

January weather doesn't help as it's more difficult to get outside but I completely get where you're coming from.

Can they do duplo together, to give you time away?

Before I had children I could never understand why their parents acted so irritated by their very presence. I do now .

Just as you think you can’t stand another Groundhog Day of the same mind numbing parenting, they enter a new phase.

I’ve a teen and a tween and am quite enjoying the change. I fully expect to hate it and be thoroughly fed up of it in two years time though!

I HAve a 1 year old and a 3 year old and I often look forward to 7pm....

I hear you! Nobody can ever tell you how hard having children is until you live it. Although there is lots of good times there is many many tough times. My 5 year old DS just had a major meltdown because I made him beans ON toast for breakfast which he thinks is disgusting even though he likes beans AND toast!

No they’re over duplo now and onto Lego which I love having imbedded in my foot.

Jesus they’re trying to murder each other again. I’m tempted to let it carry on, see who wins and just focus on who succeeds. They shall be my golden child

This is me haha. I worked with kids from the age of 15, did schools, Nannying etc, thought my own kids would be a piece of cake. By the time DD was 6 months old I swore i'd never have any more 😂

Please tell me why i'm having another now she's at school 😱😱😱

OP, you can lock yourself in your bathroom for the length of a Mars bar? Good lord! If mine can’t see me for more than 1 minute they’re instantly on the floor, flailing and screaming, or injuring each other, more flailing and screaming. Younger than yours admittedly, but gooodddd, when does the drama stop?

I only have 1 5year old, and have certainly been put through it with just having the one child. everyday Im expected to be his personal entertainment.

Until some genius last year told me to use dp's xbox kinect. he is, as we speak, playing the sports games on it as its teaming outside and were stuck in for a while. I let him have 45 mins a day on the kinect, he's only allowed to play sports. and I can guarantee hes shattered at the end of it. so while i get to do some work mess around on the internet hes working up a sweat and tiring himself out

Thank God for this thread! I feel like this most days and it doesn't help that the celebrities make it look so effortless and easy yes I'm talking to you Holly Willoughby and Myleene Klass

Whoever mentioned the chocolate spread with a spoon, this is still my go to 😂😂 the joys of parenthood

Iwasjust I didn’t chew, I swallowed it whole
The youngest little f*cker was putting his fingers through the gap under the door... reminded me of that scene from the film Signs where the alien gets his fingers chopped off.
7yo is following me from room to room with a show box asking me to guess what random household item she’s put in the box. Unfortunately it’s not Valium?
I’m loving life today.

A shoe box*

YA most certainly not BU. This morning DP got up with kids. I hid upstairs enjoying the peace and quiet. I came downstairs and the kids gave a lovely big smile and lovely cuddles! This soon turned into me wanting to go back upstairs to hide as I am now watching peppa blinking pig, my DD aged 1 has decided nappies are not for her any more so we are potty training, she did a huge poo on my brand new carpet! To top it off my DD aged 4 decided that she wants to play her keyboard and the song she has chosen to sing whilst playing is 'let it go' the screamy version!

I'm with you OP, had visions of being the perfect mother (before I had children) and could never imagine not wanting to be with them and now I dream of just having one minute's peace without someone asking me for a snack or telling me they need a poo!

Totally. It's taken me 6 years to get to this point but i am totally there right now.

Year 1 - bloody hard work (severe refluxer, non-sleeping baby) but doable and so damn cute.

Year 2 - toddling and running and extremely cute. Still not sleeping and I was juggling FT work but ok

Year 3 - spent most of it with head down the toilet whilst pregnant with DC2. Then the first 3 months of DC2's life were spent in various Dr waiting rooms and scanners following a birth complication (me not baby)

Year 4 - ok so now I have 2 non-sleepers. It's hard (again juggling FT work) and I'm just plodding on

Year 5 - it's hard - had a mini breakdown

Year 6 - it's still hard but changing jobs has helped. Still have 2 non-sleepers

Year 7 (5 months in) - ok, I'm really bored now. It's relentless. And the 6 year old still has tantrums and doesn't sleep. And they squabble. I just want to do something FOR ME. But not just an hour a week. A whole week in the Greek islands with DH....So not happening.

I was having girl. It was all going to be fluffy bunnies, crafting and stoic play mixed in with strolls around the park. Except I got lumbered with the Tasmanian devil.

Me too! Until I had kids I loved them! I'd happily babysit etc having my own has sadly made me dislike everyone else's too . I'd rather stab myself in the eye than babysit someone else's brats- mine are bad enough!

I honestly thought I'd love reading bedtime stories- god I hate it so much. There's only so many times you can read "the dinosaur that popped a planet" and "the hungry Caterpillar"