To wonder what you would think...

[BabyBrain2018]

If you saw a woman who had just had a baby a few weeks ago out drinking with her friends on social media?

FYI - this isn't me judging anyone. I'm just curious as this is a topic that sparked a debate between a few friends. I'm more on the "meh, let them do what they want" side but know others to judge more harshly. Am interested in others opinions!

I was what you might call a very possessive parent in that I wasn’t up for giving up my baby to anyone for any length of time for a while. I am also teetotal. But it would never occur to me that people would judge a new mum out with friends. Why would they?

Tbh I find the need to put any pictures of people drinking on social media a bit baffling baby or no baby. But the idea that people should judge a woman for going out weeks after having given birth seems like an alien concept to me.

Fuck me. Its true what they say that the past is another country. I went back to work full time when my DD was 6 weeks old 30 years ago. (Only 3 months paid maternity, no family and no help from DD father). Having a night out for a drink was the least of my worries.

only 2?

I wouldn't think anything. I'd go, "Oh there's Claire, Louise and Linda out for a drink...nice one!" and I'd like the photo and think nothing of it. I can't imagine why anyone would give a toss but I know people do and I think they are frightful stickybeaks.

I wouldn’t think anything, I did it. I was out and about quite quickly after I had my kids - from having to bring the older ones to school to shopping to meeting up with some old friends who were home for a visit and going out for a drink. My sister got married shortly after I had a baby and I was at a few bits and pieces for that. Their dad was more than capable of being on his own with a baby, he probably had more experience with babies than I did when we had our first.

"Putting it out there on social media is also asking for criticism."

Asking for criticism? That's a mordant way of looking at it isn't it? Like you will offer criticism as a matter of course because...well...what else might one do?
Says a lot about how you think actually.

I'd be jealous. Mine are at school and it's hard to get a night out even now because of not having family to babysit or money to pay for a sitter.

I’m just jealous

I would think "good on her!" and even be a little bit envious!
I could barely function beyond caring for my DS for the first 12 weeks or so. My confidence was knocked and I think I had a bit of mild PND; some days just getting dressed was a struggle!

A bit surprised about why anyone would want to leave such a tiny baby to go drinkingbut then again I love tiny babies and hate drinking so each to their own.

Not going to be a popular view, but this is my opinion.

If a new mum/dad is out for a drink, as in a glass of wine for a catch up or whatever, then no issue what so ever.

If however, either party was out on the town, flailing around drunk, then I would think it's pretty distasteful, and something that should be done pre baby, if at all.

The drinking culture in the UK is shocking, as is the normalisation of excessive alcohol consumption.

You only have to look at the state of the ambulance service to know things are seriously wrong.

Anyway, totally prepared for that opinion to go down like a led balloon but hey ho.

I would just think, "Wow, isn't she too tired for that?" and also, "I bet the honeymoon period will be over very soon and I hope the rug won't be pulled out from under her."

If I thought anything at all I’d think “Great. Good for her. I bet she was really looking forward to letting her hair down after a 9 month pregnancy and the early weeks of a newborn”

OP, enjoy your birthday drinks. I hope that your friend can join you and have a lovely time.

I think your colleagues are twats.

I'd think 'I can't be arsed with that thank you very much' and nothing else
With my first two I was desperate to get out and have a drink, 13 and and 11 years respectively. With my last 9 years after I struggled to want to go to the shops and have only had a couple of drinks twice in two years.

If I worked with people like this

a very opinionated bunch of women I must add

I wouldn’t tell them anything about my life.

"I would just think, "Wow, isn't she too tired for that?" and also, "I bet the honeymoon period will be over very soon and I hope the rug won't be pulled out from under her.""

Would you? Because she was out for a drink? Really?
Clearly she's not too tired 'for that' otherwise she wouldn't be there...and why would the rug be pulled out from under her because of it?
Seems a doom-laden way to think of something innocuous, but ok.

My son was born 3 and a half months ago and I've been out a few times with DH. We enjoy our time together. We got married 6 months ago and were only 23 so we want to have a social life too. I literally couldn't care less if new parents go out, or if they chose not too. It's up to them. Good on them for doing whichever they please.

I'd be jealous that I didn't get to do that due to c section pain and zero help with childcare!

horatioisabrick has it spot on for me

All of my friends and family went out for drinks within 3 weeks of having a baby. Your friends are sad little imps with no lives hence the criticising of others.

@Pengggwn are you calling me a judgemental twat? If you read up thread you'll see I'm not being judgemental at all.

My son was born in November, I went out for a carvery and a few drinks for my best friends birthday in December.

Back before midnight and did the night feed.

Guess I’m an awful mother leaving my helpless baby with his father as he’s obviously only baby sitting rather than sharing childcare

Where as if my partner went out, I’m sure no one would bat an eyelid.

I'd be happy she has recovered well enough from the birth to feel like going out, and that she had a partner or some other kind of arrangement to mind the baby.

If she is drinking and BF she can pump and dump. No drama.

Good on her.