DH had D&V, 4 wk old baby at home...what do I do?!!

[DotCottonIsMyIdol]

(AIBU for traffic as I'm panicking!)

I've just been released from hospital after a secondary PPH with my 4 week old baby, both of us are now fine although I'm still low on iron and v wobbly. DS has been playing catch up with his weight after my first hemorrhage during his birth but is now really good.

DH has just come home from a work trip with raging D&V. What do I do?? I'm very concerned about the baby. If I get it can I continue to breast feed? How can I stop the baby catching it? Shall I quarantine DH?

FFS

Have you got a midwife or HV you can speak to?

I've never got him to see my point of view
That's why you have to start asking questions here about how long this relationship can go on.

He has let you down very badly, and is treating you worse than he might treat a mortal enemy.

He is being nasty now because he has competition for your attention. By the sound of it, he is gripped by a powerful case of jealousy. You got attention from the medical staff, you are giving attention to the baby, you were not available to dance attention on him while you almost died. He is punishing you for thinking you could abandon your job like that.

I would not ask him to hold the baby or help you out in any way. I would not leave him alone with the baby, ever. This man sounds dangerous.

You are describing a man completely devoid of empathy. He is behaving like this because he gets a sense of superiority from treating you appallingly. He has not lost his marbles - he hides his terrible behaviour from everyone else.

I know it's hard to get your head together after childbirth sometimes, and it's hard to approach the idea that you may be married to someone who is completely incapable of loving you, an emotional vampire who is capable of abusing you horribly, but if you have any energy and you feel up to it, I recommend you look up malignant narcissism.

Is there anywhere else you could go? Do you have family nearby? Do you have anyone who could come and stay for a while?

Could you check into a local hotel for a while?

You could take a taxi..

I recommend that you call the unit where you were treated and ask to talk to someone there about your situation. The treatment he is giving you is extremely abusive.

You might like to try Women's Aid 0808 2000 247.
If you decide to do that, leave a message and they will call you back at a time that is convenient for you.

YYY to midwife or HV too. They can see what your clots might be about, and you should talk to them about your H.

Didn't want to read and run (feeding 12 week old DS2) - pleas call the midwife or maternity assessment unit for the clots. Best be safe about that.

Ignore your H for now until you are back to full health. It doesn't sound good though and I'm not sure I could come back from this kind of behaviour (my DH has form for being Mr Drama Llama about being ill but when I was in hospital with DS2, and DH was ill at the same time and looking after DS1, I didn't hear a peep of complaint).

I don't have any advice on your partner being a dick other than to say leave him.

But I wanted to let you know that if you or baby have problems and baby is less than 6 weeks old contact the maternity unit for any further bleeding. Don't call 111, they will send to to an ooh which is a waste of time. If you need an ambulance call 999.