About the fairest way to share costs

[WyclefJohn]

A group of friends decided to share a cottage over Christmas. 6 couples, 10 children, 5 bedrooms. One couple is childless, the others have two each. Each couple with children got a bedroom each, one couple with two children and the childless couple shared the biggest bedroom. The cost was shared 6 ways equally. What do you think?

We go away regularly with a similar set up. There are 4 couples, we are the only ones without kids.

We always split it that kids pay 50%. But then we always have a room for each couple and the kids sleep together, normally in 2 rooms

With food we take it in turns to cook a main meal and then just bring what we fancy for breakfast, lunch and snacks.

I haven't done this, but I reckon the best nerd way to apportion room costs is to set up a spreadsheet and get each payer to bid on every room but one. Their bid on the last one is automatically set to the minimum amount that ensures the total of their bids is not less than the total bill. Allocate the rooms so as to maximise revenue, using a random number generator to break any ties. Probably the revenue will exceed the bill, in which case give the payers pro-rata discounts on their bids for the room they got.

If there is a room that no-one wants (everyone bid £0 on it) then whoever ends up in it will get their accommodation free.

Accommodation split by room (so the childless couple and the family sharing with them then split between themselves).

Food should be divided per person, with under 2's not included, and over 12's paying for an adult share. 2-12's pay a half share.

It doesn’t seem fair at all that you didn’t get your own room and had to share not only with another couple but their kids as well. Did you get any sleep or cuddles while you were there?

My response to the couple not wanting to pay for a 6 bedroom cottage would be 'you and your family will need to sleep in he living room or find another family to share rooms with.'

Why were they allowed to decide?

Fairness entirely depends on the purpose of the visit. When we do family things, whose purpose is entirely to be together as a family, we now split the costs three ways, between mother and two daughters. Sister's side of the family now includes adult children with their own children, but I remain happy with the split as they have more calls on their finances, and seeing them all grown up adds to the charm and indeed purpose of the occasion for me.

Amongst adult friends, all with different sized families, I might expect a different split.

As for sharing rooms, that would be a bridge too far for me. Otherwise, its horses for courses, so long as everyone is happy with the split, and/or prepared to speak up and explain their own views.

So the couple who refused to pay for a room per couple/family ended up getting one for themselves whilst you and another family had to share?

How on earth did that conversation go to reach that conclusion?

Are you all beholden to this particular couple for some reason you haven’t shared here? Is one of them a cordon bleu chef? Does one of their children have the voice of an angel and keep you entertained every night with their repertoire?

Seriously don’t understand how anyone could be in their shoes and not be sheepish about taking the fat of the land whilst you shared the gristle leftovers.

So you and your DH had to share a room with a whole other family . Sounds hideous - DH and I find it bad enough sharing with our own kids, let alone someone else's. No I don't think they should have split the costs 6 ways. I understand that from your point of view it's not about the money, but the principle of the matter. YANBU! It's as if the couple who didn't want to pay for the sixth room have sidelined you and your DH because you don't have kids - as if you don't qualify for a room to yourselves in this basis. This is an odd attitude to say the least.

Rental cost should have been split per room. Food cost should have been split per person. I'd have refused to go if we didn't have our own bedroom though.

People would have to pay me to share a room with another family.

My response to the couple not wanting to pay for a 6 bedroom cottage would be 'you and your family will need to sleep in he living room or find another family to share rooms with.'

This!

I don't think there is ever a perfect solution. When I go away with friends, we try to make sure that the couple without kids gets the ensuite or something else that makes the room a bit better than the others. They always insist on paying an equal share.
We would never have adult couples sharing a room though.

OP for pure nosey ness - what ages are the children?

No I think costs should have been per room - so you and the couple who shared the room should have paid half of what the couples who got a room to themselves paid.

I wouldn't go on a holiday that involved me sharing a room with my own kids let alone somebody elses.

Food I'm not so fussed about. We do a group holiday every year and we don't tend to count the kids food intake. None of them eat much and parents tend to bring extras for them anyway. Also we include alcohol with the food shopping and the people with kids drink a lot less than the people without!

Sorry for a late reply. We did have a nice time. Children aged from 2 to 6, so not big children. No particular reason why the couple who didn't want to pay got the room to themselves. It was the DHs (friend group from uni) who arranged it all

I just don’t get how you were expected to share with another couple and their kids. My DH would never have agreed to this as it would mean zero loving all holiday.

No particular reason why the couple who didn't want to pay got the room to themselves

Wow, a whole new level of cheeky fuckerdom, so subtle the others don't even clock it.

At the very least, it was the DH's who didn't immediately think she will not be happy to share a room with another couple and their children....for the same cost as those with their own room who refused to pay extra so everyone could have their own room.

Just sayin'

Yikes how on earth did you as the childless couple 1) get railroaded into sharing a bedroom with another couple and their children and 2) paying for everyone else's children for food costs!

The tight ass couple that wouldn't cough for enough bedrooms for all family groups to have their own room (and also wouldn't share) would be off my holiday invite list.

It's really not that much for the fun of having friends round, and Xmas with children is so nice.

Are you seriously saying that OP should be happy to pay for the sheer joy of spending time with other people's children, but that the children's parents shouldn't have to pay extra for their children being there?

A group of friends decided to share a cottage over Christmas. 6 couples, 10 children, 5 bedrooms.

And you describe this as a "cottage"

It's really not that much for the fun of having friends round, and Xmas with children is so nice.

Christmas with children IS very nice yes. As long as you have your own room for you and your sexual partner and you aren't sleeping in the same room as some other couples small children! That is super uncool.

Loving Orinoco's calculations.

YANBU, and wouldn't be going away with them again!

Mind you, this is something that really winds me up. Been out with friends and their 3dc, 2 are picky eaters (think prawns rather than fish fingers) 3rd DC ate normally. End of meal, friends said ' oh shall we split equally' (between the 4 adults) wtaf?? Not bloody likely, you pay for your own fussy kids!! So I'm probably BU