Seeing someone and kissing

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First of all, sorry about the username

Can I ask a personal-ish question?

When you started seeing your partner/DH/DW, how did you know when it felt right to kiss? Did it just feel right? Was it straightaway or a few dates down the line?

I met my oh through friends. We had met twice before in a pub in a big gathering. It was obvs we fancied each other. We all went away on a long weekend to celebrate a birthday. First night we got together. We kissed for hours, so much so that my jaw hurt the following day. I didn’t sleep with him for another 3 months though. I knew he was the one and I wanted to give the illusion that I was a naice gal

Kissed on the first date but to be honest I used to kiss everyone on the first date, whether I fancied them or not, just to see if there was a spark. I'm a bit of a fast mover though.

I just feel a bit nervous :/ I did like him though. How do I get over the whole intimacy and nervousness thing? I mean romantic intimacy - with anyone else, I'm fine about being affectionate. It's just this situation, especially when it's someone I don't know.

I think it's just a matter of getting stuck in and going for it, I know easier said than done.

Never felt any need to delay snogging, maybe shagging. Probably not though as DH and I did it on the first date!

Personally I would have thought the longer you wait the more awkward it gets?

I've never kissed before date 2-3. I like the suspense and anticipation!

I think it's just a matter of getting stuck in and going for it, I know easier said than done.

That's true, Vitalogy. I just feel really nervous. How do I get over the nervousness? Scared I'll do it wrong etc etc.

Oh bless you. How do you relax and just go for it? First don't panic. It's a very very natural thing to do, usually when saying goodbye, but if he leans in for a kiss sooner, you can just go with it, if you want to. (If someone makes the first move then it's a bit easier to know which way you are going to lean so that you don't bump noses, but it's OK if you do bump noses! You just laugh, say oops, and then lean your head one way, so that you both know which way to go!)

Hope that you get your second date/kiss - and enjoy it!. IME it's a good idea to move onto kissing, as you can really fancy someone and then find that you don't enjoy kissing them but equally you can find that someone is a really good kisser and that can help you decide whether you want to see them again. Snoggings great!

Just enjoy. If you kiss and don't enjoy it, that's OK - there are more folk out there to kiss, and next time, you will be less nervous.

I just feel really nervous. How do I get over the nervousness? Scared I'll do it wrong etc etc. Try not to think about how you will actually kiss, the mechanics of it I mean, because I think that just makes things seem worse, once you're actually doing it, it sort of comes naturally, of course practice makes perfect
Did your chap not seem at all nervous?

He was quite nervous, especially at the start Vitalogy. He had some chewing gum when we were about to leave, and offered me some, so I think I scuppered his plans by just going for an air-kis/cheek kiss :/ was too nervous! And it wasn't ideal timing anyway - we'd got the tube together, and he was getting up to leave to change tubes.

Thanks everyone

I'm single atm, but will usually first kiss a guy the night I meet them. It just always seems to happen that way. Have met guys online, that I didn't kiss (and didn't see again). When you meet online, I think it's kind of expected, if you click? At some stage. By around the third date, if you wanted to kiss them, but weren't ready, you should tell them that, and see how they react. In case they give up on it happening, and start thinking of you as friend and seeing other people. Most guys I've kissed irl, I've kissed within a few hours of meeting them. Usually when they've made it obvious they're interested. If I click with a guy, but I don't think he wants to kiss me, we'll be friends/aquaintences.

See, he was nervous too. Are you meeting up with him again? Sorry if I missed you saying that already. Yes, I agree, chewing gum was a good sign. Next time go for it. I find having a couple of drinks takes the edge off a bit.

ExH and DH were both the first time we met, not even our first dates (albeit with DH we were teenagers in a club, we did have a date before kissing when we re-met as adults).

I can't really remember with other relationships. I haven't had many, they were all just so long ago.

Aww daily you will find it will just happen naturally when you do kiss. I also agree with a couple of drinks to take the edge off.

I've only ever been on on date. All the other guys it's been kissing in a club, pub, been friends that went further etc. Oh and boy when I was at school. We used to keep tally on how many boys you'd 'snogged' I still remember mine- 48 by the time I was 15 lol then I stopped counting!

But for all of them there's that 'moment' where you hug each other and pull away, and there's a 'look' which kind of goes from looking in each other's eyes, to looking at their lips, then back to the eyes and bingo! The kiss happens.

Then kiss can be different depending on the situation- it can be without tongues, with tongues or with tongues where you know within minutes you are going to be ripping each other's clothes off.

But the best advice I can give is to enjoy it! Kissing is ace.

Oh and exdp- our first kiss was at 11, our second round was at 13, our third round at 15, (then we stayed together- kids etc) and fourth round at 35 (but we won't go there)

Thanks everyone. I'm really looking forward to the next time I'm seeing the guy I'm seeing (sorry it sounds clumsy, couldn't find a better way to say it!!) so I guess that's a good sign :) Find him really good looking. We'll see what happens :)