Background so as to not drip feed. I was with my exH for 9 years, married for 2. Had dd and all was going well. When dd was 3 months old exH was arrested for downloading indecent images of children. Along with everyone who ever knew him I was completely shocked and didn't believe it was true. Until he admitted it was all true but wouldn't tell me the details of what he had been viewing.
So I left him that day and took dd with me. He wasn't allowed any unsupervised access to dd so I agreed to take her to see him once a week until his case went to court. He asked me not to attend the hearings but I did as I wanted to know the truth. Anyway it was revealed that the images and videos he had been downloading were of children as young as one year olds. He was given a suspended sentence.
I told him that he would never see dd again. He hasn't tried to contact me or fight me on this at all. That was nearly 2 years ago.
I changed my surname by deedpoll as I can't afford to get divorced yet. And had to have a letter of permission from him to change my surname. Dd still has his surname and I want to change her name to my maiden name.
Now, I have the form to do this and have read up on how to do it. Normally I would need a letter of permission from him to change dds name but I can apply to change it without his permission if I have a valid reason for not wanting to contact him. Now, I think I do as I don't want to risk him saying no and me having to take him to court to get a court order, which I can't afford.
I also know his DM who I have a good relationship with and she visits to see dd every other weekend, will be hurt that I want to change her name and will tell him that I've done it. So I don't want to tell her until it's done.
So AIBU to just apply for her name change without his permission?
And if you made it to the end of this post well done!