To be worried about how tough I find it to give up alcohol...... habit or bigger issue?

[BowBow1]

Its been a long time coming in my thoughts but since 20th Dec I've completely stopped drinking. I was in the habit of drinking around 5 or 6 nights a week normally one or two glasses, but I'd begin to notice it was creeping up to 2-3 glasses per night etc. Without doubt it was related to work stress (I love my job but it is incredibly demanding). So over christmas and new year, it wasn't that difficult to not drink when at home with kids, with family or busy in evenings with stuff. I didn't mind driving or going out with others who were drinking, but now I'm back at work my craving for a drink in the evening is ridiculous.

I am committed to stopping drinking, I don't think I'll never have a drink again but I really want to change my habits to a drink being the occasional treat when out rather than a norm. I am already noticing the difference in energy levels, my skin, better sleep, less anxiety (a big issue for me) and weight loss (desperately needed and part of the motivation!). BUT I am worried about how hard I am finding it. It is just the evenings, once kids are in bed and work emails dealt with.... I absolutely want a glass of wine! I feel like I am not allowed a drink until I don't actually really want one if that makes sense! DH and I have agreed to stop having alcohol in the house and only drink when out (pretty rare!). However, it makes me worry I have an issue with alcohol and am in denial!

I second easy way to control alcohol.

Another plug for seedlip - i feel just like im having a g & t but theres no alcohol. Feeling much better having cut down the wine so much over the last few months. Good luck.

You're unlikely to be addicted if you didn't have any problems over Christmas. I'd second it just being a routine thing.

I bought a fairly good bottle of very low (less than 0.5%) wine the other day by mistake and it was okay.

Incidentally, we also do dry Jan - well up to our anniversary at the end and after the excess of Christmas I do usually feel better, but very annoyingly this year I have a really bad cold and feel terrible!

Am going AF too at the moment OP & considering ordering some fizz from here: https://www.alcoholfree.co.uk/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIq9LPsva92AIVBCjTCh2s8we5EAAYASAAEgIu7DBwE

For when I feel my resolve crumbling

I find the evening drink urge usually hits around 6pm, passes by 8pm. So hang in there.

I have a genuine question. When does a habit become an addiction with regards to alcohol?

A 'functioning alcoholic' is not staggering around drunk every day, but is called an alcoholic because they need a drink every day or most days.

As i say, genuine Q.

Hi OP - can I add another book recommendation? "This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol" - by Annie Grace. Really good way to interrogate why you feel the craving for a drink when stressed - helped me to change my thinking around alcohol. If you were drinking 5-6 nights per week for a long time (as I was), it's a deeply ingrained habit and it will take some conscious work to break it - but you can absolutely do it if it's what you want!

Personally, I find it much simpler to not drink at all, rather than having to make the decision to drink or not drink on each social occasion. It was incredibly tough for the first couple of months, but I can honestly say that cutting out alcohol became a huge relief after that. I feel so much better for it! Good luck!

I spent all of 2017 working on my relationship with alcohol. I did Dry January 2017 and found it beneficial but tough. I really missed the booze.

My drinking pattern was more weekend binging than nightly consumption. My hangover would last a full week and I just knew I didn't want to drink like that anymore.

I tried Allen Carr, I tried Jason Vale, I spent a bomb on other books about alcohol. I listened to the Bubble Hour Podcasts, I read sobriety blogs, I listened to the Truth About Alcohol Podcasts. I did this all year and it wasn't until December that it all seems to sink in. I bought yet another book called Alcohol Explained by William Porter and it really spoke to me. I read it all through December and found that on Christmas Eve I had my last drink of the year and am going into Dry January feeling relaxed and not deprived at all - actually quite glad not to be drinking.

I would say that for me a good year of reading and podcast listening and thinking about why I drink and what I get from it has helped ease me towards going AF without the craving. It took work and mental preparation and I think that's the key. Changing your relationship with booze takes time and groundwork.

BerkInBag I think you might be on to something there.
I’m going to look up the book you mentioned.

Laiste the answer to this is - it depends.

I know cop out, right?

Alcoholic Anon will say only you can tell you whether you’re an alcoholic or not.

Allen Carr and Jason Vale (who totally ripped off Allen Carr by the looks) will tell you that anyone who drinks alcohol is in the trap. It’s just that we are simply in different depths of the trap but we’re all as fucked as one another.

Then of course we all have our own opinions.

My husband who is tee total accused me of being an alcoholic after we had a row because his ex girlfriend called him - it was a particularly gnarly row because I’d had a few glasses of wine with a friend before I walked in on the conversation.

Another friend of mine who hasn’t been sober in years and years yet holds down a very senior professional job would snort at the amount and the suggestion that I’m an alcoholic.

Am I an alcoholic? I’ve no idea.

What I do know is, I have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, but my body isn’t in the slightest bit ‘addicted’.

That's great JustVent I hope you find the book as useful as I did.

I really connected with it and do believe it was instrumental in getting me over the line. However, all the other reading and podcast listening over 2017 played a massive part too. I guess also I can't get complacent and it will take ongoing work and personal analysis to stay on top of it. However, this year I don't feel that pull and that craving that was present last year and that's a big shift for me.

Op, I'm not sure how you can love a job that is driving you to drink. Is changing your job an option at all.

If not, have you tried meditating.

This is William Porter's blog which gives a taste of his book and its contents.

www.alcoholexplained.com/?subscribe=success#517

Berk I’m on his website which has the first 5 chapters. As long as it’s not a repeat of Allen Carr (which it doesn’t appear to be) the I will buy the book as well. Thanks for the tip!

Thanks for answering just. And all the best for you x

Hi. Congrats.
I would agree with other posters that it's a habit, not an addiction, as you managed a dry Christmas without any problems.

Give up on the herbal teas if you're not enjoying them. I would suggest trying some of the many, many non-alcoholic "grown-up" fizzy (or non-fizzy) pops that are available. You can drink them out of wine glasses, have a bottle in the fridge, etc. We had Schloer Sparkling Grape at Christmas, and there's a definite wine-y flavour to it.

And definitely stop telling yourself you CAN'T have a drink. I hardly ever drink, but I know I can have one if I fancy one.

Agree with Tatasa on the danger time. I found the desire strong tonight, just to taste, not to quaff but I didn’t give in. My partner had a beer with dinner so I smelled the empty bottle and it reminded me of the carpet of a dingy pub! When I cleansed my face today I noticed it felt more bony. 4 days I’m and I’ve lost some bloat. Marvellous motivation

An update from this, 7 days in and after that eve I have been absolutely fine, we've been out with friends, DH had beer at home, and I was fine. I think I am really enjoying feeling so much better.

Brilliant OP!

well done OP