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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to let DH see me naked anymore?

89 replies

ParisGellar · 03/01/2018 18:58

We are usually a fairly happily naked family, changing clothes and things in front of each other, however I am now much more conscious of my body after having ds 2.7 and don't fancy parading it around anymore. Also DH usually insists we leave the door opens when using the bathroom for the toilet, shower, everything! AIBU to start to insist on some privacy?

OP posts:
RogueBiscuit · 03/01/2018 19:51

I think there's sadly a lot more to this story. This is abuse and its well documented. Where there is one type of abuse there is usually others, financial, verbal, emotional or sexual.

Him acting confused is simply manipulation. What is there to be confused about? I'm sorry you're experiencing this, it's very wrong.

halfwitpicker · 03/01/2018 19:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MrsGrindah · 03/01/2018 19:57

I thought that halfwit having just been “ bitten” by the dog thread!

LemonadeWithACherry · 03/01/2018 20:03

The dog thread! Was that a bloody plastic naked figure then? Angry

Original poster
ParisGellar · 03/01/2018 20:04

@halfwitpicker a quick search of my username would show I'm not a troll. I'm sure MNHQ would be happy to reassure you of that!

I hadn't realised how absurd the toilet thing was until now. There is more to this really, me and DH are in a bad place right now.

OP posts:
Figrollsnotfatrolls · 03/01/2018 20:07

My exh stated in our divorce that I didn't involve him in my periods, and that he had never changed a tampon for me....
Just leaving that thought with you ladies.

Shock
I did divorce him for unreasonable behaviour.

Original poster
ParisGellar · 03/01/2018 20:14

That is rank beyond rank.

OP posts:
AgathaF · 03/01/2018 20:15

There is more to this really, me and DH are in a bad place right now - I'm sorry to hear that. Do you want to discuss anything else?

Letseatgrandma · 03/01/2018 20:16

I hadn't realised how absurd the toilet thing was until now

Really?

Had your school teacher, friend or boss insisted that you leave the door open when you went to the toilet at school/their house/work, you wouldn’t have thought that was odd??

I know you say you have long posting history, but I’m really struggling with this

Figrollsnotfatrolls · 03/01/2018 20:17

Sorry for the tmi but his regularly requested fantasy was for me to shit on a glass table. I give you the king of fucked up - my exh.
Dc are nc with him and have been since they were teens and decided not to see him!!
I have never told them how gross he was. Nobody should know that about their df.

WaxOnFeckOff · 03/01/2018 20:19

Sorry to hear that OP :(

WaxOnFeckOff · 03/01/2018 20:20

...and Figs! Shock

Original poster
ParisGellar · 03/01/2018 20:20

I just assumed this was must have been normal within his family or within a relationship (quite young when I met him and he's 6y older). It's fine if you don't want to believe me. There are plenty of other threads to read. No need to worry about this one.

Honestly, I feel totally under the thumb and controlled by him at the moment. I really want some space but I don't know how on earth to get it.

OP posts:
Original poster
ParisGellar · 03/01/2018 20:21

Shit on a glass table? Would he be underneath watching in this scenario?

OP posts:
Figrollsnotfatrolls · 03/01/2018 20:23

In his mind yes. Bearing in mind we didn't own a glass table and sex was birthday's and Christmas only as he was a compete twat. Once told him to pull my nightie down when he had finished as a deterrent. So he did. Cried all night.

Backinten · 03/01/2018 20:24

This thread would be best placed in relationships I think op.

All the best to you, sounds horrendous Flowers

Figrollsnotfatrolls · 03/01/2018 20:26

Op you don't need permission from anyone else to close the bathroom door.
End of thread.

WaxOnFeckOff · 03/01/2018 20:27

Not that there is anything wrong with a bit of kinkiness between consenting adults, but that isn't the case here OP. He is controlling and disrespectful at best. I'm not the best with relationship advice though so I'd do as PP suggested and head over to relationships.

Aquamarine1029 · 03/01/2018 20:28

You get control of your own being by demanding it. Him dictating to you how to use the bathroom Is absolutely outrageous and unacceptable. It's time to stand up for yourself and put an end to his tyranny immediately. If he doesn't like it, too fucking bad. He knows where the door is. This is no way to live and no kind of environment to raise a child in.

LexieLulu · 03/01/2018 20:29

Wow OP, your 'D'H doesn't own you, you can bathe in privacy.

I've been with my DH 9 years, he's not once seen me go the toilet as I'm not ok with that, he's never questioned me.

RogueBiscuit · 03/01/2018 20:31

Paris are you dependant on him? Does he have rages? I recommend reading lundy bancroft if you haven't already.

IndieTara · 03/01/2018 20:32

Op that's seriously disturbing

AnnieAnoniMouse · 03/01/2018 20:34

The shit on the glass tables was not uncommon in certain circles, definitely in London 20 years ago. Nope. Never got the appeal either nor did it, frankly it’s a vile concept.

Fig I’m glad he’s your ex 💐

PG. I recognise your name & I believe you aren’t trolling. I suspect there’s much about your life that you’ve just accepted as normal that’s actually far from it. There’s nothing wrong with doors being open, there’s nithing wrong with doors being closed. There’s a LOT wrong with someone insisting that adults must leave the door open.

Are you too scared to end it?

chocolateiamydrug · 03/01/2018 20:37

he insists to watch you when you go for a no 2?

I think you problem is not your body/body image but your DH!

ijustwannadance · 03/01/2018 20:37

Not allowing you any privacy is abusive.
What if you had a teenage daughter, would he expect the same from them?

Is there a lock on the door op?