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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wonder why he lied

50 replies

Catlady1977 · 03/01/2018 08:54

So dh is a big footy can. He has a season ticket for his team. He goes to all the home games and the off away game.
Many of his posts are about the team. Just noticed that on one his friend asked him if he is going to a certain away game? He relies no as wife is away do I have the kids. This is not true. I am away but not that week.
Why lie?

OP posts:
Original poster
Catlady1977 · 03/01/2018 08:55

I have sent a message saying that I thought x game was on x date but no reply.

OP posts:
IntoTheFloodAgain · 03/01/2018 08:55

he could have got the dates wrong? Or is looking for an excuse not to go

Nicknacky · 03/01/2018 08:55

He has probably got the wrong week? Why automatically think he has lied?

Nectarines · 03/01/2018 08:56

He probably doesn’t want to go!

Original poster
Catlady1977 · 03/01/2018 08:56

I know I can ask him.

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YouTheCat · 03/01/2018 08:56

Maybe he couldn't think of an excuse and doesn't want to go? It's usually better to tell the truth, obviously. At least it's not you he's lying to so he can go to football.

geekone · 03/01/2018 08:56

Because he doesn't want to go away and leave you all for the weekend and it's easier to say that Confused

Original poster
Catlady1977 · 03/01/2018 08:57

It is because he doesn't want to. But I do still think he should say that and not lie.

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HumpHumpWhale · 03/01/2018 08:58

Maybe he doesn't like saying no to this particular friend and wanted an easy way to shut down the conversation, that couldn't be argued with?

IntoTheFloodAgain · 03/01/2018 08:58

its probably easier to give such a reason.
A lot of football fans are OTT (imo) and couldnt understand another ‘die hard’ fan not going to match if they could.

HumpHumpWhale · 03/01/2018 08:59

Oh, cross post. My DH does this too. I think it's insecurity. He doesn't feel like him not wanting to do something is a good enough excuse not to do it.

Boglin · 03/01/2018 09:08

This got explained to me recently by my own DH after I saw a message to a group he meets with once a week which wasn't entirely truthful about why he hadn't attended much in December. Apparently it's man code Hmm. It's not acceptable to just say you don't want to go so an excuse has to be made about why and even if it's untrue and the other people know it's untrue, this is fine as it saves face all round. Or something.

Original poster
Catlady1977 · 03/01/2018 09:12

Ah I see.

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Scribblegirl · 03/01/2018 09:15

DP does this. Pack mentality innit.

HermioneAndMsJones · 03/01/2018 09:16

Well listening to some PP, men seem to be very insecure creatures.... unable to stand their ground and actually say what they think.

How on earth have they manage to keep all these high up positions that do require to be able to say what’s going in rathervthan relying in lies I wonder.....

HermioneAndMsJones · 03/01/2018 09:17

I do notice that the ‘excuse’ is the wife though... it says a lot about the mentality of those people too...
All these awful women who dare leaving you with your dcs so you can’t go to see a match..... How unacceptable.

pigeondujour · 03/01/2018 09:17

Yeah and then they all moan about wives and girlfriends not letting them/their mates go out.

Original poster
Catlady1977 · 03/01/2018 09:21

I think it is the fact that I have been blamed that has got to me. Although in fairness he will miss a home game because I am away. Yet I do think I am pretty chilled. He was at a match only 9 days after having 3rd child.

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Original poster
Catlady1977 · 03/01/2018 09:23

So I guess it is kind of based on reality. Even though in-laws have offered to take the little one so he can go to the home game

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pictish · 03/01/2018 09:43

Err...why does anyone make their excuses?
He either doesn't fancy going so came up with a viable sounding excuse...or he's got the dates mixed up.
I'm more puzzled by your concern over this than his white lie/mistake.

Original poster
Catlady1977 · 03/01/2018 09:46

He has explained to me exactly why he doesn't want to go. A perfectly legitimate reason. I just can't fathom why he can't just say that instead of making it look like its my fault he can't go to the game.

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pictish · 03/01/2018 09:46

You're hardly being 'blamed'. It's not like any of his football pals are going to be discussing how unreasonable you are is it?
I wouldn't worry about it. Like...whatsoever.

January87 · 03/01/2018 09:47

Why does it matter so much? He doesn't want to go, he gave an excuse. We all do it.

Original poster
Catlady1977 · 03/01/2018 09:49

Not fussed about what they think but lots of mutual friends will see if too.
Guess I just don't like public lying.

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Original poster
Catlady1977 · 03/01/2018 09:50

Or any lying really.

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