To be mortified by what DH said in Tesco

[Oldsu]

Dh was unloading the trolley and discovered two packs of san pro in there, he shouted across to me " why are you buying these, you're 62 you had the menopause yonks ago" then he said "OMG you can't still get pregnant can you?" and looked horrified, the poor young lad on the till went bright red and the couple behind DH looked burst out laughing , I managed to splutter "they're not for me they're to put in the food bank box with other stuff" the fact that he had blurted out my age, and the fact that I have been through the menopause and the fact that we still have 'marital relations' in a crowded store went right over his head and he now wonders why I am not talking to him - I cant go back into Tesco now can I?

Next time you are both in the queue, think of a suitable way to embarrass him back. Also, well done for buying things for the food bank

Should of shouted back... Oh im on a promise tonight am i your viagra delivery arrived i take it!

Or say loudly oooh im on a promise where are the extra small condoms located in this store darling

I'm guessing his chances of still having 'marital relations' are pretty much zero now?

Op...you have sooo much fun next time at tesco...loving the small condom comment! Yanbu by the way.

I would've shouted "Yeah! And don't forget the extra small condoms in the trolley for you!"

@Betsy86 beat me to it 👍🏼

Come on vipers, you must be able to suggest brilliant things OP could have fired back.

shout 'what have you got these for? You KNOW you haven't been able to get it up in years!'

Best comment so far ....

Arsehole.

Men, are just so sodding stupid some times!! That's all!

The obvious response to DH in my mind would be 'FGS, DH, if you don't know the answer to that by now, I can't help you'.

😂😂

This is so funny - you have to go back to try out some of these one liners!

That's quite an age gap! A woman in her 60s and a young teenage boy? Wow.

The answer should have been “Obviously not with you!”

That's epic. Please give him a medal for brightening up my night.

Is his name Phillip?

I'd have been mortified. My DH is prone speaking before he thinks. His 'best' was always asking women who were 'carrying a little extra weight' if they were pregnant. It was always 'kindly' meant as in he wanted to congratulate her if she was but I kept telling him that you just don't DO that. I've finally got him broken of the habit.

I don't find that funny.
He sounds like a prick.

That's quite an age gap! A woman in her 60s and a young teenage boy? Wow.

Which thread are you reading?

I'm coming to the conclusion that men are fundamentally semi-feral and untrainable OP

Well I finally had to speak to him, he has just had everything out of the cupboards looking for the bar of mega expensive dark chocolate (his weekly treat) which should have been in the shopping and is nowhere to be found find it I told the truth that I was so flustered and embarrassed by his stupid remarks I think I 'accidently' (ooopps) dropped it in the food bank box with the rest of the stuff - sorry dear

LTB

Next time put some condoms in, without him seeing.

At the checkout say (very loudly) “who are these for darling? You know you can’t use them now your old and impotent”

That’ll teach him

Oldsu - sound like an exquisitely subtle revenge