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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

IABU to hate living on my own.

36 replies

Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 02/01/2018 20:12

I have just come back from a lovely weekend spent with my boyfriend and his family and I enjoyed having the company and the help to get through new years day and the 1st anniversary of my nans passing and now I'm back home and I hate it because I'm alone again and back to using the tv as company and a distraction because it drowns out the sound of silence. Just feeling down and alone I know I need to put on my big girl pants and stop moping. IABU to feel like this.

OP posts:
Smeaton · 02/01/2018 20:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

monkeywithacowface · 02/01/2018 20:16

No of course you're not feeling lonely sucks. How often do you get to see your boyfriend?

Would your lifestyle allow the time for a pet? Despite being an occasional tosser my dog is very good company.

Berrygoodteeth · 02/01/2018 20:20

I’m the opposite- used to hate it and now after a mental two weeks with family and my boyfriend I cannot wait to be alone

Original poster
Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 02/01/2018 20:21

Smeaton monkeywithacowface I have 3 cats but it's a very one sided conversation with them. I can't call my boyfriend he's in work. I get to see him about once a week and he sometimes stays over if his days off are together. Just feeling very down and alone at the minute and hating the sound of silence.

OP posts:
LemonShark · 02/01/2018 20:22

Living alone is awful for lots of people, brilliant for some. Do you have to? As an adult I've lived in a few amazing house shares with en suite rooms and other professionals and it's been so much better than being fully alone.

Original poster
Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 02/01/2018 20:24

Berrygoodteeth I was looking forward to getting home to my cats and now I don't want to be here on my own.

OP posts:
Original poster
Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 02/01/2018 20:25

LemonShark a house share might be a good idea I could have my own space to do what I please but people to speak to the best of both worlds.

OP posts:
Cakefortea1 · 02/01/2018 20:26

Feeling lonely too. My boyfriend went home yesterday after 18 days together. We live 200 miles apart. Feels rubbish.

Mumteadumpty · 02/01/2018 20:26

I find the radio better company than the TV. I find I can just 'slump' in front of the telly, but I am more likely to get on with doing stuff and feeling productive with the radio for background. I listen to all kinds of stuff too.

LemonShark · 02/01/2018 20:28

Yes a decent house share with en suite and good people was brilliant! I was the least social of the bunch but I still massively appreciated knowing other people were there if I needed them (I never did) and hearing the sounds of people going about their business. It was lovely. I've never actually lived alone despite moving out at 19, always been in shares or with partner. Doubt I'd like being fully alone.

tehmina23 · 02/01/2018 20:31

I live alone & it's not fun... sometimes I feel really lonely.

YANBU to feel fed up.

letsdolunch321 · 02/01/2018 20:37

I appreciate living alone can be lonely.

By time I get in from work, make myself dinner - tidy the kitchen. Get my lunch organised for work tomorrow then catch up with any outstanding jobs/ read a few chapters of a good book/ do some exercise time has flown by.

Original poster
Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 02/01/2018 20:52

CalrFortea1 it's rubbish isn't it I've spent the Christmas period either with my family or my boyfriend and his family and now I have to get use to being on my own again.

mumteadumpty I don't have a radio but I'm waiting on a new iPod to turn up a bit of music is good for the soul and helps to drive off the lonelyness.

Thank you LemonShark I will look in to that I would feel better being surrounded by people even though am not a very sociable person I would just like someone around to chat to when I feel like it.

tehmina23 it's horrible isn't it. I've lived alone for 2 years and sometimes I like it and other times I just want someone here to speak to.

Letsdolunch321 I would love to have your life. I can't work at the minute due to anxiety and depression so every day is like groundhog day for me same shit different day.

OP posts:
Agerbilatemycardigan · 02/01/2018 20:54

I'm on my own now after years of bringing up my DDs. It does get lonely sometimes, and I'm not allowed pets where I live. I try to fill my time with various things. Today it's been zombie movies Grin

Although that's probably not for everyone.

Cakefortea1 · 02/01/2018 20:57

I’ve actually got 2 teenagers and a dog but kids are either in rooms or out and dog is ignoring me!! Still feel lonely.

Agerbilatemycardigan · 02/01/2018 21:06

I started uni as a mature student in September. I think that I'm the only one that can't wait to get back after the holidays!

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops · 02/01/2018 21:14

I know it's hard, and living alone isn't for everyone, but try to think of the positives. You can go out and know what state your house will be in when you get back (I often leave a spotless kitchen and come back to a greasy hob that someone has fried steak on but hasn't thought to clean), no weird cooking smells, no having to put up with hideous decorations you don't like (flatmate likes live, laugh love), no having other people wreck your nice kitchen stuff (she doesn't clean or treat things well so my good things are in storage away from her mucky mitts), your fridge is your own, no one will overhear your bedroom antics and you don't have to other people shagging.

I'd love to be able to afford to live on my own!

Original poster
Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 02/01/2018 21:16

Agerbilatemycardigan I'm not a fan of zombie movies but I do have some new DVD's to watch and some books that I want to read.

Cakefortea1 at least you have people round I just have 3 daft cats that only love when it's feeding time.

OP posts:
Nomad86 · 02/01/2018 21:20

Do you have a spare room? Some lodgers just want Monday - Friday lets so you'd still have the place to yourself at the weekend but some company on weekdays.

Original poster
Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 02/01/2018 21:38

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops oh god I feel sorry for you having to put up with that I couldn't put up with living with someone like that. I hope things improve for you and you can afford to live on your own.

OP posts:
Original poster
Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 02/01/2018 21:39

Nomad86 no I only have the one room I can't afford anything bigger I wish I could otherwise I would take in a lodger.

OP posts:
Agerbilatemycardigan · 02/01/2018 21:44

I'm not sure that I could live with someone full-time again. It's swings and roundabouts really. It would be nice to sometimes have someone to offload on when I've had a shit day. I think my plants died because I depressed them tbh.

Original poster
Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 02/01/2018 21:49

Agirbilatemycardigan I would've liked to of gone to uni but I never got good grades and I can't afford it. The only person I've lived with other than my family was an ex and it all went tits up that's how I ended up living on my own and I would never live with a boyfriend again until we've been together a long time.

OP posts:
appella · 02/01/2018 21:51

I'm in a house shares since splitting with my ex back in Feb. Absolutely hate it and get very lonely.

Agerbilatemycardigan · 02/01/2018 22:43

I've gone back as a mature student Shoot

I'm not going to lie and say that it's easy, but it's something that I'd always wanted to do. Financially it's a bit tight, and I'll be 56 when I finish, but I've met some lovely people and have learned a lot about myself.

Have you thought of going part-time?

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