IABU to hate living on my own.

[Shootfirstaskquestionslater]

I have just come back from a lovely weekend spent with my boyfriend and his family and I enjoyed having the company and the help to get through new years day and the 1st anniversary of my nans passing and now I'm back home and I hate it because I'm alone again and back to using the tv as company and a distraction because it drowns out the sound of silence. Just feeling down and alone I know I need to put on my big girl pants and stop moping. IABU to feel like this.

apella I didn't think you would get that lonely in a house share.

Do you ever listen to Ted Talks? I was feeling low in the autumn and stumbled across a Ted Talk about something I was vaguely aware of, and it was so insightful and passionate it really changed my focus.

Ohyesiam I've never heard of Ted talks but thank you I will give it a listen.

Agerbilatemycardigan I've never thought about going part time I will look in to it thank you.

You can be lonely in a house share. If the people aren't your friends to start with or get left out or don't click or you run opposing schedules. When I was at uni I was in a house share of 6 and then another of 5 with 4 of the same girls as before. No one was nasty but not everyone was included in everything. Occasionally it hurt feelings.

There's someone on my degree course that does it p/t and the tutors are really supportive of her.

I rarely interacted or hung out with any of my housemates DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops, the ease of loneliness while living there was more to do with knowing others were around and we were living in a group despite my enjoyment of privacy :) you don't have to be friends with housemates to feel less lonely living with them!

I live alone, DDs are in their twenties. I'd like a relationship but wouldn't want to live with someone again. My strategies for coping are

My dog - I have to go out every day and people always talk to you
Started a book group
Joined Meetup, first a walking group, but hope to start dance classes soon
Evening classes - I've learnt another language and how to upholster my own furniture
Family and local history. Been doing this since my twenties and can easily lose a day in the archives without realising
Travel. Takes a bit of courage the first time but once again, people talk to me.

The biggest thing for me is planning - always have something to look forward to, even if it's just a cinema trip

YABU and YANBU at the same time. Living alone exacerbates loneliness, but plenty of people would love to be able to afford to live alone.

It's more realistic for someone who has their own flat to move into a house of multiple occupancy, than it is for someone in a HoMO to move into their own flat.

I've experienced both, and been very lonely in both. But at least in my own flat I have my privacy, my own cooking and washing facilities, and if there's a mess, it's my own bloody fault for making it.

I think @ChelleDawg2020 has nailed it.

@LemonShark - my current flatmate is one I met on spareroom and we get on fine. I like seeing her but enjoy having my time alone, too. I find it lonely in a bigger house share, even with friends. I hate the background noise of togetherness, even if I'm happy having time alone.

I live with a couple and a guy about 15 years older than me. Had to move quite quickly so didn't really think about the social aspect. I did live in one house share than was sooo good in terms of occasional evenings watching shit TV etc which was good, but I had to move for work.