DB and SIL are not my favourite people, so I am less tolerant of them than I may be of others, but the last few years they really have stretched my tolerance to it's limit.
They are short on money, had another baby last year and SIL is not working. They asked if we good do small gifts only. DM and DF wanted to do proper presents for the DGC- which was agreed. DB/SIL and we agreed to small gifts for adults and children.
DB/SIL got a bottle of wine and chocolates, their DC were given gifts to value of approx £20 each. Everyone seemed happy on boxing day when they came out to us (DM/DF stay in "granny/grandpa cottage").
Phoned DB about something else, he starts going on about how hard done by he is. Last year, as a christmas gift, we bought DN a decent winter coat (and a small toy, as coats aren't exactly exciting gift's for a little boy) as money was very tight for DB/SIL. It was a useful gift and I thought no more of it. DM/DF bought their winter boots. Apparently, they had been expecting something similar this year for all their DC as DB had told me money was tight and I was happy to do it last year.
Also SIL is upset that she wasn't catered for when she visited on boxing day. And is upset as I hadn't "followed her wishes" with regards to feeding their DC. Initially, she wasn't going to be coming as she was going to have a restful day at home. Which was fine but when she changed her mind (on the day), that was also fine. I collected them all by the way, hosted them overnight and took them home the next day.
SIL is picky eater, not vegetarian/vegan/coeliac or dairy free etc, to be clear. We had baked ham/cold turkey with salad leaves, bread, coleslaw and a beetroot/carrot salad for lunch. Or cheese and biscuits. For dinner we had soup and sandwich/toasty and kids had home made fish fingers and chips. Breakfast next morning was ceral/toast/croissants. Lunch soup/sandwich and dinner was pasta.
Apparantly, she doesn't like "fancy food". I didn't think it was, but even if it wasn't to her taste, given I was expecting her, I don't think I can be expected to manage her preferences?
Her issue with the children is that she doesn't like cooking/isn't very good and when her DC ask for "x like Aunty Jacks does" she finds it annoying. However, I like cooking and my DC like helping. I am not going out to buy bought pasta sauce/use tinned soup etc when I am making the same food for everyone. Nor am I going to buy ready made fish fingers for one meal when my DC probably won't enjoy them much and they'll just languish in the freezer.
I feel like I've stepped into a parallel universe. A small gift does not mean an expensive winter coat?