DH using childrens savings to prop up inherited house in Greece

[Sunnydays92]

2 years ago my FIL passed away leaving a complex financial mess of a will. He owned a property in Greece that was not legally built. FIL paid a caretaker 20k in cash per year to look after the house he is still employed on the same terms. The house is officially owned by a charitable trust set up by FIL and FIL had the “economic benefit” of the property. Executors of FIL will are very expensive London law firm and it is costing a fortune to untangle FIL affairs and run house in Greece. FIL left everything in his will to his 3 children so DH has a third share of estate i.e the “economic benefit” of the house in Greece. So far the solicitor’s costs and running costs of house in Greece have exceeded liquidity in estate. Solicitors are now taking a back seat and allowing the beneficiaries of the will to run the house in Greece. DH brothers family are financially more secure than us and SIL runs a successful business and has no kids. We unfortunately do not have the financial clout of DH siblings. So far we have had to use 5.5k of money saved for our DC, 2 of whom are due to go to uni this year, to pay bills on FIL estate. I am fuming I do not want us to get into debt and this is money we cannot afford to lose, However BIL has currently spent 33k propping up the estate and paying bills and DH finds it” humiliating and embarrassing” that he cannot match his brother. I want DH to talk to his siblings and say this cannot carry on and in particular that we cannot afford the caretaker, DH refuses. I’m furious-it’s his dads estate and initially I didn't get involved but it is now using up our childrens money I feel I should be listened to. Hopefully if we are able to sell the house we can regain our costs but at present we are legally unable to sell it, the housing market in Greece is not great and it is also difficult to get money out of Greece so I am concerned we will get further into debt. With our annual leave with can only use the house for 2 weeks of the year during school holidays and it costs a small fortune to travel over there as we are a family of 6 and there are no direct flights so we pay for flights, ferry crossing and car hire to reach the house. AIBU to ask DH to tell his siblings that we cannot fund the house and where possible we should stop all expenses, incl. caretaker ? Particularly as we get so little use out of it? If DH will not explain to his brother and sister that we cannot afford is it unreasonable for me to go behind DH back and explain it to them? This is causing friction in our relationship but I know it will cause even more if I speak to BIL and SIL behind his back. I feel DH is risking our finances because he does not want to admit to his brother he is unable to afford what his brother can. He has agreed with his brother not to bother his sister with finances-which makes me angrier still as she has no DC to support!

Move the DCs savings asap! If this is money given to your dcs then its their money, its not money you've saved up to spend on them iyswim. I knew how many savings I had when I went to uni and I would have been furious if my parents spent it, its pretty close to stealing.

The caretaker isn't going to be hurrying things up when he's going to lose the cushy number he currently has, when it's sold.
20k and part time - in Greece? Where can I get a job like this?

Have a look on RightMove for 2-bed properties in Greece without pools. Not a lot of money and certainly not worth 20K a year. Is it at least somewhere very desirable?

I wonder why you have renewed the caretakers contract at this crazy salary when’s so many people have told you that it’s exhorbitant. I know several people who work on a much larger Greek island than the one your house is on and they earn between 450- -550 euros / month for a FT job.

Of course the caretaker will not move anything forward, he had a free place to live and he’s earring about 10 times the normal salary.

Also many posters have advised you to move your children’s money.

OP - Have you taken any of the advice that you have been given on this thread?

20k for a part time caretaker OP? He will never complete things and I am sure that him and half the village are laughing all the way to the bank!

I suspect the care taker is a relative - possibly an illegitimate son??

Thanks for all your comments and ideas. Unfortunately the caretaker is employed by DH and his brother and sister. If the caretaker was employed by me he'd be history but I have no power to sack him ,which I suppose , is the bottom line in this whole mess- I am powerless to make decisions as it's not my inheritance. if it was just DH then I'd have more influence but it's my BIL that's running the show and DH won't stand up to him - he tells me I've no idea what it's like being the youngest as I'm the bossy big sister! So I'm mad at DH for getting his priorities wrong, I'm mad at BIL who has , probably without a moments thought, told caretaker we will continue to employ him on same terms until April, which means DH and I have to find another £2250 ish. God knows if BIL will agree to let caretaker go in April but I'm not holding my breath!
The only thing I can and will do is move my children's money so no more of it can be used. Oh and keep having heated discussions with DH about it in the hope he will finally see sense. He's just told me I have to be more careful with money- presumably so we can afford to pay the caretaker!!!
The £2250 is nearly 3 months wages for me - so I'm also mad at me for not being financially independent and being totally unable to get my husband to listen to and respect to me.
DH is convinced this financial situation is temporary so presumably in the words of delboy " this time next year we'll be millionaires" ( well not quite but you get the picture) . Think I'll start buying lottery tickets, they probably have more chance of coming good than this money pit of a house in Greece.

OP I would love to live on a Greek island. If you know of any PT 20k jobs supervising an empty, 2 bed please give me first dibs.

On a serious note close the purse strings on your dc's accounts.

Also your DC are old enough to be told that their savings have been used for this.

Would LTB give him enough balls to stand up to his family?
I could not work another day to fund this.
How did the caretaker ever end up being paid a wage that everyone is saying is over the odds in Greece?

Thing is, saying things like renounce the will, cut off his access to savings- they’re all things I’m sure you’ve thought of. I think you’re getting towards suck it up for leave territory tbh. That said, I don’t criticise your H. I can see how you can end up in this position. Very very tough all round

Move the money to your kids and when he questions it tell him it's their money that he's been stealing. Maybe that will wake him up. I'd be livid about this.
How dare he!