To turn down the holiday off a lifetime

[WalkingWolly]

That I could never afford in a million years!

Long term friend, 15 years + has offered to pay for it all except for spending money. We were close friends then drifted a way for a few years (Dc) and now close again. She is very wealthy. I’m decidedly not.

But, she is er rather demanding when it comes to knowing what she does and doesn’t want to do. I know the whole week will turn into just following her around doing what she wants. I said yes but then thought about all the things I would love to do and know won’t happen as she won’t want to. This is from prior experience of accepting gifts from her.

But still I would get to tick an amazing holiday off my list.

AIBU not to go? Or should I think myself lucky and just suck it up

GottadoitGottadoit

That can be done for £4 a night.

My mother used to have a wealthy friend who would take her away as a companion. She missed some things she wanted to see, but saw loads of other things she could have only dreamed of if she didn't go.

It's up to you, but think of it as being a companion, not as going on your own holiday.

It's not a holiday of a lifetime if you're going to be following someone else around, doing what they want to do the whole time.
The point of a holiday of a lifetime is that you go and make the most of it, enjoying it and getting whatever YOU want to get out of it.

Personally, I wouldn't be going and wasting time off work trailing around after someone who sounds so utterly selfish.

sounds like the wrong sort of dynamic for a holiday. these things rarely end well. I really wouldn't go.

God no. Being bossed around by someone doesn't sound like much of a holiday.

I wouldn't go.

It's one thing to go as a companion - and know that the person paying will call the shots, but be reasonably satisfied that you will be able to see or do most of the things that you would like. Arrangements like this work well when the person paying isn't an arsehole and you both have lots in common.

It's another thing to go as a paid lackey, where essentially your role is to schlep around after Her Nibs, dancing to the tune of the day and expected to be pathetically grateful for the honour of not being allowed to enjoy any of the things that were your reason for going in the first place.

Only you know which category your friend falls into.

I think it is awful that you are considering using this 'friend' to bag a holiday. You absolutely should not accept her generosity if you dont even like her. Say no so she can take someone who actually likes spending time with her

I think it depends whether there are just one or two things that she is unlikely to suggest that would make the experience complete for you or there is a long list. If it is the latter, you are probably best saving up yourself to do it properly. If only one or two, then I would have a chat ASAP telling her the things you would love to do whilst there. If she says no, then suggest that you have one or two days/half-days where you go off and do your own thing. If she is not keen on that then I would pull out.

I wouldn't do it. it sounds too much like 'Hire a friend'

I am not rich but my dignity cannot be bought

If this holiday is going to come with strings attached it isn't going to be much of a holiday for you. Also, if your friend is going to want to eat in high end restaurants that are beyond your budget all the time you will spend all holiday worrying about money.

Are you able to say what kind of holiday it is?