Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

to think DF's Dog can sit on the floor?

44 replies

CornyCollins · 31/12/2017 23:00

Am so fed up! DF and DM have been here for Xmas and NY.

Have had a lovely week and the DCs have loved them being here. DH has a great relationship with them and we've all really got on well. (DM is amazing but DF can be occasionally a bit lazy and moany).

Now my DF is driving me mad insisting their dog has to be allowed on the sofa. She isn't elderly, infirm or injured. She has a lovely soft bed with pillows and shit that we have in the same room. But he has insisted she be allowed on the sofa at all times the way she is at their house. Sometimes she's happily asleep on her bed but he shouts her over to him when he goes to sit down because HE wants her to sit on the sofa with him, not because SHE wants to be on there. When left to her own devices she goes to her bed!

I am not a dog owner but if I was I wouldn't allow them on the sofa. To be honest there are 5 of us and we have one sofa so it's just as much about bloody room as anything else! Obviously that's my personal opinion and choice but I have put covers on the sofa to avoid arguments and allowed the dog on the sofa for their visits. She's lovely and I don't have anything against her, really.

Now (and tonight particularly) he's stepped it up a level and is insisting that if she's on there when the rest of the family come in (from washing the dishes or after dinner) and are looking to sit down and maybe watch a film or something that they should sit on the floor because the dog was there first!? She sprawls out taking up 3 out of 5 of the sofa seats (she's huge) and he sits there all uppity and openly hostile when I try to move her off so that my DM or DH can sit down!!

I'm sorry and she's very sweet but it's a fucking DOG in MY house and you are getting angry and unpleasant because I move her off the sofa to her huge fluffy bed so that other people have somewhere to sit!??

He's incredibly childish when he's had a few drinks and tonight he's just about hit my limit. I've moved away from the situation to avoid an argument. My DM has already had a go at him about it and said he's being totally unreasonable but he just digs his heels in.

He knows he's being goady but just can't help himself, giving me the finger as I turn away etc.

AIBU?

OP posts:

BeBesideTheSea · 31/12/2017 23:03

Can you put your DF out of the house. Then poor dog can go back to comfy bed, and everyone else can sit down.

BeBesideTheSea · 31/12/2017 23:03

Oh and tough shit to him if he is uppity and hostile. Move the dog.

YouCantArgueWithStupid · 31/12/2017 23:04

Put DF on the DDog bed and cuddle up with DDog on the sofa

TroelsLovesSquinkies · 31/12/2017 23:06

What a dick.
Your house your rules, he can go home if he doesn't like it.

Cantuccit · 31/12/2017 23:06

Have you really had a lovely week with him in your home, OP?

Or are you tolerating him for your DM's sake?

Please don't let him get away with this behaviour.

Justmuddlingalong · 31/12/2017 23:07

Your house, your not unreasonable rules. Perhaps in future suggest he stays at home for Christmas. Then the dog and him can sit wherever the fuck they like, but in their own house. Not much point in pulling him up on his behaviour tonight, if he's half cut. Wait till tomorrow and make yourself very clear about house rules. He can then choose to take it or leave it.

Original poster

CornyCollins · 31/12/2017 23:08

She is very cuddly! The thing is, she genuinely doesn't really give a shit! I found her asleep in the garage yesterday! But he's just got a bee in his bonnet about it and we're in real danger of having a proper shouting fall out. My DM is mortified and that's the only reason I've held my tongue so far.

Arsehole. (DF not the dog, she's lovely...)

OP posts:

Maelstrop · 31/12/2017 23:09

Pointless talking to him if he’s pissed. Tomorrow, have serious words and ensure dog is on floor. How ridiculous. I adore my dog, I mean, I’m totally stupid over him, but he is not allowed on the sofa, because that’s for people.

BlessYourCottonSocks · 31/12/2017 23:11

Anyone who gave me the finger in my own house would never be invited again. Who the fuck does he think he is? Unbelievable.

Original poster

CornyCollins · 31/12/2017 23:13

Cantuccit there's definitely more of a "tolerating"feel to his company and it's definitely something that has developed over the last couple of years. He's had a few health setbacks that have made him feel his age a bit more and so has become more difficult and certainly more awkward and obstinate in his behaviours.

DM is truly amazing though so perhaps part of me does consider him the 'additional baggage' to seeing DM these days. She's quite a lot younger so I feel like she needs the break and the fun that we have. I make him welcome (and the dog) but i don't hugely enjoy his company any more if I'm totally honest.

OP posts:

Original poster

CornyCollins · 31/12/2017 23:20

But thanks all, I really appreciate the comments and to know that I'm not being horrible or unreasonable!

DDog has just walked over and put her head in my lap! Dammit, she is a cute (albeit massive) furball.....

OP posts:

Jdabbers · 31/12/2017 23:25

Sounds like the dog has had enough too and is taking the opportunity for some space!

ProseccoMamam · 31/12/2017 23:35

It's your house. If he prefers his dog on his sofa he can take the dog home to sit on his sofa. I have 2 dogs and they aren't allowed on furniture, in the kitchen or up the stairs. If someone brought their dog to my house their dog would also have to go by those rules. I'm not having my house ruined because someone else babies their fucking pet. He is ridiculous OP. The dog is more than happy in its own bed he's just being awkward and letting the dog on the sofa because he knows you don't allow it.

Maybe he's getting you back for all the times you disobeyed his house rules?

Dragongirl10 · 31/12/2017 23:40

DF sounds like he needs a reality check! and you need to be more assertive...

In my house 6 month old pup is allowed on old playroom sofa, but when he is with my parents for the odd day he is not allowed on theirs, fair enough, their house their rules, my DF unceremoniously blocks him from jumping up and literally growls NO.. DOWN.. Pup now behaves well and doesn't try in their house and out of respect l do not allow him up at theirs either.

You really do need to stop worrying about upsetting DF, his behaviour is rediculous but everyone putting up with it even more so!

Just say ' Dog is very welcome but not on furniture' and repeat.

Or show him this thread

BoomBoomsCousin · 31/12/2017 23:48

Maybe try telling your DF the dog can stay on the sofa but only if he sits on the floor? Though I like BeBesideTheSeaSide's advice too!.

Sorry he's a massive pain. I would probably just breeze past it, push the dog off the sofa pretty much ignoring his objections, get everyone sat down and then if he's still complaining turn and look at him with a slightly puzzled look and say "Don't be silly DF, he's a dog. He likes his bed." and don't engage anymore?

Of course, if he's spoiling for a fight it won't matter what you do, he'll just keep making more extravagant demands until he goads you into it.

georgie262 · 31/12/2017 23:49

I am so over people treating their pets like children, they are animals not people. I have a dog a -really like- love but he sits in his basket on the floor of an evening not on the couch.

OhWhatToChoose · 31/12/2017 23:49

I'd be telling DF that the dog has taken up his spot on the sofa and he will need to sit on the floor.

rightsaidfrederickII · 31/12/2017 23:52

As a dog owner who allows the dog to sleep in my bed, YANBU

midnightmooch · 01/01/2018 00:11

I let my dog sleep in my bed but I don't expect him to sit on anyone's sofa - if we're staying overnight he'd need to stay in our room though. Thankfully he doesn't smell or drop too much hair.

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 01/01/2018 00:16

Woman up and take control of your own house OP! He sounds like a bully your Dad.

SlartyFarkBarstard · 01/01/2018 00:19

He’d be out on his arse if he’d stuck his finger up at me! fucking nasty prick. What’s your DH said to him?

Namechangetempissue · 01/01/2018 00:20

YANBU. My two are not allowed on the family sofa at all. They have their own sofa in the kitchen because I'm a mug and dog beds. I certainly wouldn't expect them to be allowed on other people's furnishings! Tell him firmly the dog stays on the floor. He is welcome to join her.

Namechangetempissue · 01/01/2018 00:23

Oh and I would lose my shit at the finger thing. He could fuck off home until he decided to treat me with some respect. I would pack his bloody bags myself. The cheek of it!

ijustwannadance · 01/01/2018 00:31

He's clearly doing it on purpose to get a reaction out of you for some reason.

Be firm and stand up to him.

WillowWept · 01/01/2018 00:36

He's trying to start a row. Much as I'd be tempted to confront him it won't end well if he's been drinking

Flip

1 2