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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

need handholding - theraputic rant.

31 replies

tinkertailorsoildersailor · 31/12/2017 19:45

Posting for traffic. Just to note, I am a (normally) pacifist and gentle parent. However... my 6 year old ds has acted like a total and utter shit today. It's taken every inch of my will power not to yell at him / whack him. He's just refused my offer to have a NYE disco upstairs with him, in favour of 'daddy' who is deserting us in an hour to go out on a little nye jaunt of his own (i'm the default babysitter so can't go out). This was going to be our special time, a little party of our own, but he has cried and whined he wants daddy, so I've given up and am sipping g&t in front of the telly, wiping my tears. Excuse my langauage but he's been a challenging bastard today and I don't actually like him at the moment.

OP posts:
AnotherWorry · 31/12/2017 19:50

You don't like him and he's a "bastard" because he doesn't love you enough, or in the way you want him to?

A parents love should be unconditional.

You sound very needy.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 31/12/2017 19:52

We all have bad days OP. Be kind to yourself.

LisaMed1 · 31/12/2017 19:52

Hugs

I don't have any answers, but I get that sometimes it's hard when you are the 'bad' parent and are left behind by the 'fun' parent. Hope he settles down with a cuddle with you after daddy goes out

Crispbutty · 31/12/2017 19:52

Personally I think your husband's a selfish twat to go out on his own leaving you.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 31/12/2017 19:53

I don't think you sound needy. It's just one of those days Flowers.

Aturkeyisnotjustforchristmas · 31/12/2017 19:54

You don't like him and he's a "bastard" because he doesn't love you enough, or in the way you want him to?

A parents love should be unconditional.

You sound very needy.

You sound like an utter twat.

MissConductUS · 31/12/2017 19:55

Are you and the father married? If so, why aren't you doing something together?

By the way, it's normal to get angry and frustrated with a toddler. Give yourself some space and forgiveness.

MiddleClassProblem · 31/12/2017 19:57

I’m surprised you’ve got to 6 without having the “I want the other parent” act. Dd has done it several times to both of us and she’s just turned 3!

It’s frustrating but hopefully he will change his mind in a bit. Enjoy your G&T!

fairgame84 · 31/12/2017 19:59

My 13yo 'd's is currently acting like a twat so you have my sympathies. Have some Flowers and another Gin.
Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully a better one.

CheshireChat · 31/12/2017 20:01

Kids always treat the more reliable parent worse.

Just leave your DS be, my mum used to be a bit overbearing because it was just me and her and it did our relationship no favours. Your issues are with your partner and your young son doesn't really owe you companionship.

leftwiththedognow · 31/12/2017 20:03

Nasty and basically an utterly fucking ridiculous comment from AnotherWorry.

Be kind to yourself OP. You've had a bad day and your 'dh' is being a cock. Im guessing your son is feeling clingy with his dad as he knows hes going out. He'll want a mum cuddle later on I'm sure.

Original poster
tinkertailorsoildersailor · 31/12/2017 20:06

yes thanks everyone. I was expecting a flaming, so thanks for being kind. Cheshire, I think there is underlying resentment towards dp going out, which is colouring my vision. But ds has been very challenging today, shouting at me constantly - I got the wrong wellies for him on a walk, and on and on all day. Made myself avocado on toast - feeling better!

OP posts:
CheshireChat · 31/12/2017 20:08

Though that doesn't mean you're U to be upset if your DS is being a pain, kids can drive you to breaking point.

I just think you're cross with your partner who sounds like is a bit of an arse and your kid's behaviour just magnified it. He may have even picked up on the underlying tension.

Tell your DS to take it up with his dad as it's not your call.

Flowers
00100001 · 31/12/2017 20:08

Waiting for DH to finish tidying the landing that he was supposed to have done before bloody Christmas.

00100001 · 31/12/2017 20:09

Well, that was clearly meant for another thread!

CheshireChat · 31/12/2017 20:11

Sorry, I cross posted with you.

Just send your DS to his dad- if he feels guilty for going out- great!

Pleasedontdrawonyoursister · 31/12/2017 20:22

DD(4) has been a total utter shit today. I blame it on Christmas comedown, and general boredom as she is usually at school. I have literally told her to go into a different room from me a few times today as the incessant whingeing is driving me crazy! Tomorrow is another day WineWine

princesssparkle1 · 31/12/2017 20:26

@AnotherWorry

That's very unkind.

MiddleClassProblem · 31/12/2017 20:27

00100001 I think it fit quite well!

Original poster
tinkertailorsoildersailor · 31/12/2017 20:28

Yes, christmas comedown, also I've just noticed (as ds came down for a goodnight kiss just now) has a runny nose, so perhaps he's feeling crappy, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt....

OP posts:
TooFew · 31/12/2017 20:32

Big hugs OP. You dont sound needy in the slightest. Rather more like you're due a night out and you're DH (who sounds completely inconsiderate) due a night 'babysitting' Having your DS piss on your 'screw him lets stick together and have fun' plan must havr sucked.

AnotherWorry - you sound bloody delightful. Sure everyone appreciates your input Hmm

shakeyourcaboose · 31/12/2017 20:35

This reply has been deleted

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mrsmuddlepies · 31/12/2017 20:41

Shakeyourcaboose, Are you allowed to accuse another poster of being a troll because you disagree with them. I disagree with you but I am not going to name call.
OP, you will only make yourself feel worse if you take out your frustration on your little boy.

Busybusybust · 31/12/2017 20:44

anotherworry why so spiteful? Have you never felt angry about your children’s behaviour?

TooFew · 31/12/2017 20:46

mrsmuddle it didn't come across to me that OP took out any frustration on her DS. Perhaps the G&T but not her boy. Sounds like she did a good job of sucking it up and cracking on till she could let out her frustrations in a 'safe' place

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