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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To regift duplicate presents?

28 replies

Wineasaurous · 31/12/2017 19:39

So my DS1 received 4 of one toy and 2 of another 3 toys for Christmas.
Is it okay to regift toys? Some we will be taking to the charity shop but we really don't have much money and it seems (on paper) like such a good idea.... first child so I don't know all the gifting etiquette yet.

OP posts:

Marmite27 · 31/12/2017 19:41

We’ve had a few duplicates, which will be regifted.

My theory is as long as there’s one of the item around when the person that gave us one of them visits then it’s all good

BellyBean · 31/12/2017 19:45

I'd be fine with that. Just make sure it's not given to someone who might know it's a regift.

AnotherWorry · 31/12/2017 19:47

Yes, but I wouldn't be using it to save money, I'd be 'buying' them off my DC to get them something else.

If you can't afford to do that can you not ask people where they got them from to try and exchange?

BrieAndChilli · 31/12/2017 19:52

I regift.
DS1 got 2 copies of 2 books for Xmas so I’ve ‘bought’ them off him and will keep them to give to his friends for thier birthdays
I will then buy him a replacement book or give him the money.

Original poster

Wineasaurous · 31/12/2017 19:55

That's such a good idea!!

OP posts:

hidinginthenightgarden · 31/12/2017 20:00

Yes I think it is fine to regift duplicates (although I take duplicates to grandparents so they have something to entertain them there). It is less okay to regift something you don't want I guess.

billybagpuss · 31/12/2017 20:03

I did this lots, you also don't have to 'pay' your DC straight away, save it up for special treats in the summer.

Quorafun · 31/12/2017 20:06

I think buying off children is a ridiculous idea. But then I also don't give my kids any money for doing chores around the house. We are all members of the same family and if I don't get paid, why should they?

Regifting is fine, just be careful you don't give to the same people

AnotherWorry · 31/12/2017 20:08

Why is buying off the children ridiculous? The alternatives are either let them have multiple of the same toy, or take something off them and not replace it.

greenlynx · 31/12/2017 20:09

Are they still in original packaging? If so, you can regift them, why not? Or put them aside in case you will need to replace a broken one later

WhyamIBoredathome · 31/12/2017 20:13

I sell the duplicates on the local fb group and buy my DC an alternative with the money.

Quorafun · 31/12/2017 20:16

The idea that you are taking something off them and not replacing it. that is they reason why its ridiculous.

A family consists of parents, and children. Not parents with children as an addendum. Financially, a family exists as a single unit. So how can you be taking something off someone when they have multiples off it and not replacing it, if they money saved, will still be spent on the family unit? Unless you have a family where everyone is a separate entity, financially speaking? Just my tuppence worth. Everyone does what they feel is correct.

GeekyBlinders · 31/12/2017 20:17

Prepared to be flamed here but if they are in mint condition and in perfect packaging, I take toys to Toys R Us and books to Waterstones, explain that they're duplicate gifts and ask if I can exchange them for something else. I've never been refused.

BackforGood · 31/12/2017 20:20

Of course YANBU.

The key to regifting is to keep a really careful note of where they came from (including the one they keep) so you don't return it to the family that gave it you

AnotherWorry · 31/12/2017 20:23

It's not about finances, it's about someone has bought a DC something, for themselves, not for the family unit. To decide you're going to take it away is just plain mean IMO.

NeedMoreSleepOrSugar · 31/12/2017 20:24

Yy to keeping one of them and keeping a note of who gifted them. Also,getting into the habit of saying "dc got one of these for Christmas and loved it, I hope your dc enjoys it just as much"

OhBeggerItsChristmas · 31/12/2017 20:29

You/your child own those things now, you can do whatever you want with them (within reason).

Personally I would try not to regift to the people who gave them in the first place. But if my sons friend gave him a toy for Christmas, it wouldn't be impossible that we'd buy that friend the same thing for their birthday anyway, whether deliberately or accidentally, so it's not the end of the world to send the same thing back later. (But I would try not to.)

Also, if the regift happens a couple of weeks after receiving it would be easier for others to remember what had been given, if you're storing it in a cupboard for 6 months and regifting say in May/June it's not necessarily going to be remembered what someone gave you.

I wouldn't worry about regifting, my BIL's wife's family do it all the time and are very open about it, everyone knows and are quite happy knowing if they give something and it is not liked/a duplicate it will be useful for someone else. At least they know if they buy a 'dud' present it will be used elsewhere rather than sit gathering dust for many years to come.

BrieAndChilli · 31/12/2017 21:32

The present has been given to the child so it is thier property not mine. You wouldn't say to the grandparent give me the money instead of buying DS a present, it's not the childs fault so why should they miss out on a present?

junebirthdaygirl · 31/12/2017 21:42

I agree with Quora..buying off the child is totally unnecessary. Children have loads and will no doubt have lots of treats as the year goes by. My dc would never have expected that. They would understand that 3 of the one toy is useless and would have been happy to pass it on to a cousin, charity shop whatever.

Dontknowwherethelineis · 31/12/2017 21:44

I buy things for my kids all the time and I'm a bit of a soft touch for that so I certainly don't think I 'owe' my kids if I regift something given to them!
I'm all for regifting as long as you genuinely think it'll be appreciated by the recipient.... If it's a present I don't think anyone I know would appreciate it goes to the charity shop.

RatOnnaStick · 31/12/2017 21:49

Our unwanted duplicate gifts are always turned into school friend's birthday party offerings here. I can't be doing with hanging on to any failures at all duplicates. I've always assumed my kids got the rejects too. They don't know or care.

Notso · 31/12/2017 21:55

DC got a couple of duplicates I'm not sure what to do with. They cost a bit too much to regift at birthday parties. I only usually spend £10 max and these are more like £25-£40 and they came from the only family members who would be interested in them so can't really pass them on there.

SpoonfulOfJam · 31/12/2017 21:59

Buying gifts off a child. I've heard it all now.

Did I read correctly that this is a new baby as well. So buying gifts off a less than 1 year old?!

SpoonfulOfJam · 31/12/2017 22:00

Ah- first child, not necessarily first Christmas.

YellowMakesMeSmile · 01/01/2018 00:15

We did the same with duplicates, I purchased something different and donated the item to charity or passed onto friends.

I wouldn't take the gift away and not replace as it's unfair on the child.

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