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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a lot of people are just plain weird?

109 replies

crunchymint · 31/12/2017 16:29

The more I read on MN, the more I think lots of people are just plain weird.

OP posts:
StillWorkingOnACleverNN · 31/12/2017 18:39

I find myself thinking that friends who are perfectly normal in some circumstances are weird in other circumstances and about small but really odd things. Like having very strong opinions about real vs. fake Xmas trees. Or obsessively judging other people's car choices and car care. Or being way too involved in a child's sport or hobby. Then I think . . . me too? And then I realize . . .yes, me too, but I'll never know what I'm weird about.

Weebo · 31/12/2017 18:39

Yes to that sparechange.

Oh, and treating cooked rice like a biological bomb.

Original poster
crunchymint · 31/12/2017 18:40

sparechange I know one person like this who is being treated for OCD.

OP posts:
Ohyesiam · 31/12/2017 18:41

The thing that i find weird is that so many of the problems on mn could be solved by the poster talking about how they felt.
It seems people would rather suffer endlessly, or go nc with half their family them say " could we do it this way " or " I feel left out " or " I'm hurt by that ".

When this eventually comes up on the thread, it's "awkward" according to op

Original poster
crunchymint · 31/12/2017 18:43

Yeah it reminds me of Eastenders. Most situations are resolved just by telling their loved ones what has happened or how they feel. They don't, and drama is a result.

OP posts:
e1y1 · 31/12/2017 18:53

I’m definitely weird By MN standards.

Spare

I wouldn’t use a hand towel at someone’s house (not having someone’s poo on my hands). I won’t use hotel towels either (take my own).
I wouldn’t eat homemade cake unless it was family (the kitchen could be filthy).
I wouldn’t drink out of someone’s cup (they could have a dental abscess).

I know these are all could haves. But I do my best to make sure they are could nots.

Sparklingbrook · 31/12/2017 18:56

Why would a hand towel have poo on it?

e1y1 · 31/12/2017 18:58

Someone who is not fastidious about washing their hands properly and then wiping their hands on said towel after a number 2.

CassandraCross · 31/12/2017 19:00

I rarely watch soaps but on the odd occasion one is on there is always a scene where two people after some drama or another are agreeing that from this point on everything is out in the open, they won't hide anything from each other, will always tell the truth and talk about things and all the while one of them is still hiding something which you know will come to light a few weeks later!

So many means of communication these days and people just can't seem to do the most simple one of just talking to each other.

Sparklingbrook · 31/12/2017 19:01

But then it's all over the loo handle, the door handle and all through the house if that's the case.
I get what you are saying but it wouldn't be just the towel would it?

CassandraCross · 31/12/2017 19:05

e1y1 not to offend but I do think that is odd and extreme behaviour by any standard, not just MN. I have only known one person in my life who was remotely like you and his extreme behaviour led to a very sad end.

ShellyBoobs · 31/12/2017 19:11

There’s lots of weirdness on MN.

My DP says he can tell when I’m on MN because my face is almost always either Hmm or Shock with the odd Grin

Sparklingbrook · 31/12/2017 19:11

I wouldn't agree with that Cassandra, I avoid home made cakes generally unless I know the baker so to speak, and I really would rather not share someone's cup because of germs. Plus there's no need to anyway.

Original poster
crunchymint · 31/12/2017 19:13

In the pub we all try each others beer. No one cares about hygiene. And I will have your rejected home made cake.

OP posts:
ChristmasFluff · 31/12/2017 19:14

Most people are 'normal' but not healthy. Most of AIBU wouldn't exist if people were boundaried and authentic. And some of the most active Mumsnetters are completely unboundaried and inauthentic and chastise those who attempt to be boundaried. At best it's 'pretend you have a prior appointment.' No. Just say what you mean and mean what you say, and then you will probably find you don''t need to bring it to AIBU. Why are people CFs? It's because you let them be. Just call them out, dump them, do what you have to do and move on. Not 'normal' by modern society standards. Definitely healthy.

And those who are talking about the benefits of communication have never tried to communicate with a toxic personality. You think people who go No Contact haven't tried communicating? You cannot communicate with toxic, and the same people who chastise others for not communicating will be the ones going, 'well if it was that bad, why didn't they leave?'

PerspicaciaTick · 31/12/2017 19:14

I am completely normal. It is everyone else who is weird.

Sparklingbrook · 31/12/2017 19:16

I am so over CFs. It's CF this, CF that. I hide those threads now, don't care if there's a parking diagram either.

Rebeccaslicker · 31/12/2017 19:22

I spend a shitload a week on food, excluding eating out, probably well above £300, and there's onlyr 3 of us. It's a new year's resolution to cut that shit out. It happens like this:

  • don't be v well organised, so you end up popping to the shops most days
  • buy breakfast and a bag of drinks before work and then buy lunch from somewhere like pret or m&s every day
  • have an OP who drinks just a bit too much beer or wine every night
  • buy lots of Evian instead of tap or filter
  • feel guilty about working v long hours, so buy your OP treats like expensive steaks
  • get bored with what's in the fridge and end up chucking it and buying something else/going out/deliveroo

It's shit and a huge waste that stems from being a single girl in central London for far too long. New year - be sensible, be healthy, cut the waste, cut the waist and save the difference!

Hepzibar · 31/12/2017 19:22

Agree OP. People are odd.

It never fails to astound me that there are adults who tell other adults what to do. The number of DM's and MIL's who are taking offence and bursting into tears if they are even slightly challenged is totally astonishing.

But what is more astonishing is the number of people acquiescing to others instructions. In other words enabling them. Baffles me, truly baffles me.

treaclesoda · 31/12/2017 19:26

I'm not entirely convinced that everyone who has ever gone non contact with relatives/friends has done so after trying to be reasonable and make things work.

Sometimes a very simple misunderstanding can spiral out of all control. Or an otherwise kind and decent person can do something thoughtless and out of character. That doesn't make them cruel or toxic, it just makes them human.

I fully agree that people should walk away from abusive relationships in their lives but on mumsnet there sometimes seems to be a consensus that no transgression should ever be forgiven. Hurting someone as a one off, or even on a longer term basis because A hasn't actually told B that they're hurt by the behaviour, isn't the same as being deliberately abusive. If we all held everyone to mumsnet standards, no one would have any sort of meaningful relationship with anyone else, because the standards are utterly unachievable.

treaclesoda · 31/12/2017 19:27

But having said that, there are a great many people who have good reason for being non contact with other people.

sparechange · 31/12/2017 19:27

e1y1

But you know that level of germ phobia is abnormal, right?

What do you think would actually happen if you are a slice of cake made in a dirty kitchen? Bearing in mind it's been cooked at nearly 200degrees for over an hour

Is it the 'ick' factor or do you genuinely think some illness will befall you if you don't follow your rituals around hygiene?

CassandraCross · 31/12/2017 19:28

I disagree ChristmasFluff inasmuch as an inordinate amount of the NC advised or carried out does not involve toxic personalities invariably it is just a misunderstanding which could easily be solved by talking and compromising. In the cases of truly toxic people then I agree there is no point in doing anything other than walk away.

Sparklingbrook it was more the towel thing I was regarding as odd.

Sparklingbrook · 31/12/2017 19:31

Yes, the towel thing is a bit strange if you think about it. Do people generally get their hands covered in poo when wiping their bum, then wash their hands leaving some poo on then use the hand towel? Must be pretty rare if so. And as I said upthread the rest of the house would be covered in it too.

Fresta · 31/12/2017 19:31

MN has definitely introduced me to a whole new culture of weirdos. I never knew that there were people who:

Bleach their toilets after every use,
Won't have a toilet brush in the house, or even worse- buy a new toilet brush after every clean and dispose of the old one,
Wash their towels after one use,
Change bed sheets daily,
Have such an enormous paranoia about house fires and leaving children unattended for more than 3 seconds,
Similarly they are prepared for emergency trips to A&E at all times of day and night and never drink in the presence of children, and if they have a glass of wine their partner must not because the A&E trip might be jeopardised,
Think playing Father Christmas is lying to children and will damage their relationship,
Hate their MILs,
Go non contact with family (that doesn't even exist as a phrase outside of MN)
Don't spend more than £30 a week on food for a family including 5 dogs, 6 kids, and 2 adults,
etc.

In MN terms I must be odd because I like my MIL, I only change my sheets about once a week, I wash my towels about every 4 or five days, I spend about £130 on food for a family, I have a loo brush, I don't bleach every day, and I have never gone non-contact with anyone in my family.