AIBU to ask this of DP?

[Mkla1]

Hi, im pretty new to mn so forgive me for not yet knowing all the abbreviations!
Whilst on a "romantic" pre new years break with DP i came across a photo of him and another girl with her breasts out. This other girl is a partner to DPs supposed friend. A little background (sorry if i ramble on), DP has in the past been unfaithful and we worked through this, or so i thought. Recently hes been putting me down making me feel generally a bit shi**y about myself whilst laughing it off as a "joke", you're getting chubby for e.g. This specific person in the picture has been used against me before, id be perfect if i was like her i should get a boob job like her ect ect. Anyway, after a long discussion i asked DP to delete this girl from social media and also her number. However this was met with the reaction i am being controlling and telling him who he can/cant be friends with and am now doubting myself thinking im overreacting to the situation as he says it was nothing more than a silly drunk photo. That may well be but it has destroyed the last of my confidence and left me embarrased about myself and feeling rather humiliated once again. Im wondering if i should also tell this girls partner? What would you do in this situation & do you think i abu?

why are you defending him OP.. making excuses for him.. he's a grown man who is treating you like shit on his shoe..

And do you know what, in all of my adult years (I'm late 40's), not once has a man asked me to get my tits out, unless we were sexual partners. Not once. In all that time. Even when drunk.

Op, can you imagine how horrified you'd be, if one of your DP's mates, got you alone and then asked to see your tits? And then asked if he can photo your tits? I'm sure the answer would be No.

Huskylover1

Agreed.. me neither... somethings stinks to high heaven

So he keeps a picture of a woman he considers to be an ideal of physical perfection on his phone whilst frequently telling you that you are inadequate by comparison?

I don't understand why you're still with him.

Blocking her won't change his attitude - he will still see her around, there will be others to take her place. She isn't the problem.

He sounds foul. You deserve better. If it’s just a laugh ask if he’ll be posting it on social media to share the joke...

If one of his friends were to ask that of me theyd be met with a slap quite rightly and im not a violent person. I have taken all the advice you have all kindly given and went with the weightloss plan of losing 120lbs in 30 seconds! A quick message to say its over and blocked all forms of him being able to contact me. You know what? I already feel like a huge weight has been lifted. I cant believe how silly and blinded i have beeb

He sounds mean and immature op. Ditch him.

well done OP
right decision!
start 2018 off as you mean to go on!

Good for you. Hope you stay strong and start focussing on all the good things about you.

Good for you!

He sounds awful OP. Well done for getting rid! I bet you feel great after the instant weight loss !
Happy New Year to you and have some

Nice one! Keep strong

I think ive only put up with it so long because i know deep down he isnt this horrid excuse of a man hes became

You couldn't be more wrong - this is exactly who he is.

My God, DTMFA.

Even if he deletes the photo, he's still there, being a lying, cheating scumbag. Run like the wind.

Just read the thread and was about to say dump him! Well done OP, your life will only get better from now on.

Well done! He was just nasty! I mean, can you imagine, if you had said to him "Ah, if only your penis was thicker and longer, just like Jacks, you'd be perfect".........cos that's what he effectively did to you with the boobs comment. You wouldn't say that, because that would make you cruel, and who wants to hurt the ones they love?

You are well rid. He sounds like he has a personality disorder. And cheats. Leaves you free to meet someone lovely in 2018.

Im glad i came here and you all enabled me to find the courage i couldnt quite find myself to do what, deep down, i knew needed doing. Heres to a happier 2018! :) Wishing everyone a happy new year xx

Good on you! Because any man who makes comments to you like he does, regardless of that photo, needs kicking to the kerb.

How many last chances do you think you need to give? He’s already a second chance after cheating.

Follow your head now. You deserve much more than feeling humiliated by this waste of space. You do not need a boob job, you do not need to lose weight. You do not need to be a clone of the woman he is comparing you to.

You need to find you again. The one that has been eroded by his behaviour.

He won’t change, get rid.

Crossed post.

Well done 👍

Keep talking on here. This high is likely to wear off soon. But I tealky do think you have done the right thing. What a pig.

Well done.

Glad to hear you've rid yourself of that mean spirited man. How anyone could say such awful things to someone they claim to love is beyond me, and you deserve much more. Best wishes to you for the new year, OP. I reckon it's going to be good one!

He isnt normally this awful man, hes been bothering with a lot of people who have dragged him down and i feel hes taking the wrong path that they also have to nothingness.

This stops being a defence for bad behaviour in childhood. A formed adult is already on that path and would not be dragged down to it. He’d have a level of decency that he wouldn’t deviate from. He’s horrible and you should dump him immediately. He may have good points, everyone does, but he hurts you. There’s never a reason to stick it out or be around people who hurt you.