Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mil and my children's clothes -part 3

50 replies

bellarosa81 · 31/12/2017 11:33

Merry christmas everyone!

Well i have written about this Two Times before and had a lot of different advice. I just dont know how to handle this- or am I over reacting?

My mil has once again bought My children clothes after being told they have too many . Not only for christmas but also she bought more 3 days Ago in the sales!

One of My children went to stay with her for a couple of days and so i sent a bag with lots of clothes to choose from. This included things she had given as presents.

We arrived at theirs last night and My Child is wearing completely new trousers and on the sideboard was, what looks like , an outfit for newyears eve - which we are spending with them.
Why would she assume that she Could dress them and that i wouldnt want to ?

I'm so annoyed!
Wtf do i do?!!

OP posts:
YellowMakesMeSmile · 31/12/2017 11:37

Chill and be grateful they have a loving grandparent in their lives?

I've never bought mine a special outfit for NYE as they would be in bed anyway but wouldn't see anything wrong if somebody else did.

Idontdowindows · 31/12/2017 11:39

Would it be an idea to leave those clothes at MIL? At least they won't be clogging up your closets then and you won't have to send clothes with them :)

Original poster
bellarosa81 · 31/12/2017 11:39

Of Course I am grateful but i have a feeling this is about power and control . This is because i have previously Said they have too many clothes and it's extremely wasteful.

OP posts:
Cantuccit · 31/12/2017 11:39

I would get her son to have a word with her to say that the kids have more than enough clothes and that you don't have space to store all the clothes she is buying. Also, you don't want the kids to get spoilt with having so much.

If she continues to buy, get DH to give the ones you don't want back to her in a bag, saying these are not needed.

If she tries to change your kids clothing, you or DH tell her that what they have on is fine and they won't be changing.

Make it DH's problem.

lulu12345 · 31/12/2017 11:41

I totally get why this is annoying as my MIL does it too and we have totally different tastes but honestly I think you need to pick your battles and - as Yellow said - be grateful the GP wants to be involved. You can always just keep the stuff for days the GP will see them or donate to charity or something.

LilQueenie · 31/12/2017 11:41

I understand. It's your responsibility to feed and clothe your child and grandparents taking over when you have asked them not to is really overstepping it. Different if you were struggling. The real problem is people who won't take no for an answer.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 31/12/2017 11:41

Take them to a charity shop, deny all knowledge of their existence.

Original poster
bellarosa81 · 31/12/2017 11:42

I Should add that One time she bought him a New coat cos she thought he looked cold yet another time she complained she doesn't have much money.

OP posts:
LilQueenie · 31/12/2017 11:44

Likewise perhaps you are now short of money on wasted clothes she won't let your dc wear?

Weezol · 31/12/2017 11:45

I agree with idontdowindows. My XIL's had a small wardrobe in the kids room at their place where they kept clothes for the grandchildren. Could that be a solution?

Original poster
bellarosa81 · 31/12/2017 11:47

I can see she enjoys looking after and taking care of people . She had 4 boys !
I just dont like it when people disregard other people's feelings and do what they want instead.

OP posts:
OliviaBenson · 31/12/2017 11:47

Don't let your kids wear them. Leave them in the bag and leave them there. You've tried asking nicely and it hasn't worked.

Trb17 · 31/12/2017 11:48

If she tried to dress your DV against your will then grow a pair and tell her NO. Also make sure your DP has his grown up pants on to tell her as well.

If she continues to insist on buying clothes when you have too many already, just eBay them and put the money in kids savings account. Tell her you’re doing this so if she continues she’s wasting her money.

Original poster
bellarosa81 · 31/12/2017 11:48

Weezol - good Idea ! Thanks

OP posts:
Trb17 · 31/12/2017 11:48
  • DC not DV Hmm
Tinselistacky · 31/12/2017 11:50

When my exh mil threatened to dress /change my dd (after 6 dgs she wanted to play dressing up) I told her she wouldn't be having dd unsupervised then. And she never did. Bag up and repeat. Every time.

Original poster
bellarosa81 · 31/12/2017 11:50

I just think it's odd that i sent a bag of clothes and she went out and bought New stuff!

To me it says :
" hmmmm yes well even though he has clothes i'll l Go and buy new ones anyway".

OP posts:
Allthetuppences · 31/12/2017 11:52

My exMIL constantly does clothes whilst bitching about my taste to my daughters. Fortunately they've now hit an age where being dressed by a 70 year old isn't very appealling and she's absolutely gutted and their remarks are a bit blunt from time to time. I can't rhink where they get the idea to criticise someone's taste. I don't do it. Amazing she never saw it coming.

Original poster
bellarosa81 · 31/12/2017 11:52

Sorry for the weird use of capitals - stupid phone!

OP posts:
extinctspecies · 31/12/2017 11:55

A new kids' outfit for NYE?

Is that a thing now?

didyoureally · 31/12/2017 12:01

It would really irritate me too unless you had asked for clothes for them as a Christmas present. I agree with the poster who suggests leaving them at MIL's house, that way you don't have to deal with the unwanted clothes surplus in your home and she might possibly start to see the amount of stuff that she is creating.

WorraLiberty · 31/12/2017 12:02

She's probably got a bit of a shopping addiction when it comes to your DD and clothes.

You're pissing in the wind there, so rather than get stressed, I'd just go with it.

She could be doing far worse.

TheSameCoin · 31/12/2017 12:02

My ex MIL used to buy my DDs tons and tons of clothes. It was annoying for several reasons. Firstly, she never got practical stuff like warm trousers or vests, it was always little outfits with tights and lace and shit. So she got the stuff she wanted without thought for what we actually needed. I used to resent having to act grateful for stuff I didn’t need/want.

In the end, I decided just to say thanks and just return stuff that I didn’t want. Fortunately for me, lots of the things she bought came from M&S who would refund to a gift card without a receipt. I used to let the balance build up on the gift card and then buy her Christmas/birthday presents with the balance. A petty and pointless revenge but it made me feel better!

Original poster
bellarosa81 · 31/12/2017 12:04

Extinct species- -Any excuse for her to buy !

Ive just picked out a couple of existing things they have.

OP posts:
Original poster
bellarosa81 · 31/12/2017 12:08

Oh Also i live in a different country Where it's not the norm to stand out and everyone tends to be the same.
On the plus side it is quite cool and modern .

However I dress My children as i see fit- well the younger ones not My 11 year old ! Have No chance.

My mil dressed all her boys in matching outfits and My oh was the eldest . Very embarassing photos of him when he was a teenager!

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread