To try and defer DS entry to Reception?

[lookingforthecorkscrew]

DS (3) was born on August 31st, he currently attends a nursery attached to a primary school where there have been issues about his listening and interaction (or lack of) with other children for his 15 hours. We’ve been actively involved and on board with all the referrals the school have suggested: EP, SALT, SEN Action (and more!). DS loves nursery and we’ve definitely all seen a marked improvement in his language and ability to follow instructions since September.

But we are moving 80 miles away in the spring and have to start making some decisions about where we go from here. My preference is to place him in a private nursery for 3-4 morning sessions a week. He loves nursery and its just been so good for him. We’d have to make a late application for primary school - which isn’t terrible in that area as many good schools are undersubscribed. I’d then contact the local schools to request deferral of Reception start to Sept ‘19.

I know this isn’t by any means guaranteed, but I think with his DOB and SEN evidence we will have a strong case for him remaining in nursery for a further year.

The worst case is that they all refuse and we either have to put him in Reception in September, or have him start in Year 1 the following year.

Certain family members have been quite opinionated about all this, with many suggesting that we are making the wrong decision for DS, potentially damaging his chances in life! (I know)

We will, of course, pursue the SEN referrals once we’re settled too, it’s possible he has ASD but as we haven’t had a firm diagnosis yet I am wary of labelling him thus.

AIBU to ‘hold him back’? Has anyone experienced similar?

Corkscrew
I think that with your DS's SEN needs, deferral is worth asking about as long as it is deferral into reception not going straight into year one.

I don't think that deferring summer born children just because they are summer born is a good idea in general.

Many many summerborn bits are daisy noses SEN or as naughty just because they are far from being ready to follow rules, sit still or listen. As PP say, watch for labelling when it's just your child developing normally but is just to young to be able to cope.

And again it is absolutely NOT a definite that he will have to miss a year!

Reread your post - listening and interaction is a maturity issue not an indicator of intelligence or cognitive processing. Give him a chance to catch up before pursuing a diagnosis of SEN. Id bet that if you put him on a scale with children born within the same week as him, he'd be average. The pressures on the EYFS are ridiculous a d nursery schools have to map the children against it. You wouldn't map him against it at home. Give him time to develop and grow.

Oh and the question of deferral is solely about starting in reception - you can start straight at year one at 5. The fight is to not miss the essential reception year yet still start at 5, which is compulsory school age.

Why if age 5 is compulsory school starting age do so many children start at 4 and potentially face huge struggles?! It's madness.

My youngest was a 31st August baby too and is 17 now. I would have loved to keep him back, but at that time it was not really considered an option where we were living. Even though he's doing well, in his second year of A levels and with offers for uni etc, I'm now really encouraging him to take a gap year and defer his entry in order to work a bit and travel a little because I feel he'll get more out of it and handle things better once he's got that extra year of life experience under his belt... we've encouraged him to be independent and he's quite mature, but there are things his peers have experienced, with the safety net of living at home that he just hasn't got round to yet. Being young for the year doesn't go away as they get older (obvs!). If you have the choice and your heart is telling you to wait I wouldn't hesitate. Best of luck!

Wicca
My DS is a year older than yours and is also 31 August, he has had no issues at uni at all with being the youngest one there.

Lokibear sen labelling is also not an indicator of intelligence.
Outcomes are better with early support.