Help! Is this the actions of a shitty friend?

[yippyyappy]

Me, dh and ds (4) have been asked to a NYE party. We live very remotely and can't get back to our house that evening so arranged to stay with a friend and her two kids who are also going.

The people who's party it is just asked if we want to stay with them.

Seeing as it's a wind chill of -40 tomorrow night and dh would like a drink he wants me to tell other friend we've changed plans and will stay where the party is.

I feel like this may upset original friend as she's alone with her 1 and 3 year old and was probably looking forward to us coming back with her. I'm just guessing that though.

I thought of asking "would you be offended if we stayed where the party is?" but dh thinks this just puts pressure on her to say it's fine even if it isn't.

So it's a wwyd. I have autism so sometimes don't make the right decisions or judge people right. Hence asking here.

Ah, crossed posts. She’ll be fine. Try not to worry about it.

Thank you. I must drive dh bloody nuts with my 24 hours of analysis over every small decision I make.

‘So in short I pulled a wanker move but am hopefully making up for it.’

^ This

I’m in the situation of your original friend and I’d have been gutted and felt ditched for better plans. However I think you’ve made it quite clear on your reasons and the making up for it in short sounds like a great way to make up for it.

Have a lovely time at the party.

Yes ditto have a lovely time at the party

If I were your friend I'd have felt a bit sad for one second until you told me about next weekend, which sounds AMAZING! Well done OP - that was a good save.

Well ds has woken us at 3am projectile vomiting EVERYWHERE. So looks like we'll be spending NYE over a bloody sick bowl.

All that angst for nothing then

It would be rude or hurtful if you changed plans but didn't check it out. All you need to do is ask her.

Sorry, that was a bit late