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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed of at 'D' SIL visiting with a sickness bug

35 replies

elaine26 · 31/12/2017 00:27

Not so 'D'SIL visited us on Xmas day despite having a sickness bug. I'm now sat in A&E with sicky 11 yo DD. She's been ill all week and was worse tonight and had a panic attack so I took her to A&E! AIBU for being annoyed at her for coming over when I specifically told her to only come over if she was feeling better? Please be kind, I'm knackered

OP posts:
MyKingdomForBrie · 31/12/2017 00:28

Yes she WBU. Not sure why you’re in A&E though - how severe is the panic attack?

Stubbornmare · 31/12/2017 00:30

YANBU at all!!

I wouldn't be happy either, but for now the most important thing is getting your DD better. I hope she feels better soon Flowers

Coastalcommand · 31/12/2017 00:30

YABU to go to A&E with a vomiting bug. Not fair on staff and other patients.

Heratnumber7 · 31/12/2017 00:30

If DD is prone to panic attacks when she has a "bug", you need to learn to deal with them at home.
Not a reason to burden A&E.

PixieXox · 31/12/2017 00:32

Why would you go to A&E for a bug and a panic attack?

Nopeno · 31/12/2017 00:32

YANBU about SIL she was selfish and stupid!

But why have you taken D&V to a hospital full of ill people when they can’t do anything for that or the panic attack?? It’s just as bad as your SIL!

LolaTheDarkdestroyer · 31/12/2017 00:38

You are worse than her, you are now infecting a whole heap of people,kids,pregnant women,people with weak immune systems you are selfish!

MyKingdomForBrie · 31/12/2017 00:39

I think enough people have said it now guys.. OP isn’t feeling fabulous already remember.

Original poster
elaine26 · 31/12/2017 00:41

Brought her to A&E after NHS 24 advised out of hours Gp appt but not available till 3:40am so thought A&E would be quicker and it has been so far, also DD has other medical conditions, including asthma so I was worried that she would have an asthma attack if I left her in that state

OP posts:
MyKingdomForBrie · 31/12/2017 00:46

Hope she is feeling better soon OP, asthma is very scary in that kind of situation.

Ilovecoleslaw · 31/12/2017 00:46

Jesus Christ, what a waste of emergency services.

Taking D&V to A&E? Well done op, you're going to make a lot of people very ill with that.

What exactly do you think A&E are going to do for your daughter? Is the presenting complaint an accident or an emergency? No, it's not.

AIBU for being annoyed at her for coming over when I specifically told her to only come over if she was feeling better?

Perhaps she was feeling better?? Just because she felt better in herself doesn't mean there's no risk of catching a bug.

YABU to waste nhs resources and a&e staffs time, whilst also putting vulnerable patients at risk.

Original poster
elaine26 · 31/12/2017 00:50

Coleslaw, I came on the advice of NHS 24 and as I said she has other underlying conditions that are contributing to her current condition, I have spoken to a nurse who has said I've done the right thing coming here, so I'll take her advice before yours, no offence. Also SIL did not feel better before coming over

OP posts:
PixieXox · 31/12/2017 00:50

It's quicker because you're ignoring NHS24 advice and taking the place of someone who genuinely needs to be there. YABU and in no position to comment on DSil. What a waste.

Original poster
elaine26 · 31/12/2017 00:56

Pixie, I didn't ignore NHS 24 they were sending us here anyway I just sped up the process for my11 yo who suffers every day with chronic stomach pain and feeling sick so thid may well be connected to that, I'm not sure whether it is a hug I am purely guessing

OP posts:
PixieXox · 31/12/2017 00:58

They advised an out of hours GP appointment though (because it's a GP query not an emergency) and you went to A&E? Like they're two different services unless I'm missing something?

liminality · 31/12/2017 01:01

I'd get this one taken down elaine, it looks like their is going to be little sympathy here for you. MN gets particularly crazy about anyone using A&E or even NHS services for any reason at all these days.
Best not to use any services until after death really, and even then you should have caught a cab yourself, no matter what advice you were offered.

Original poster
elaine26 · 31/12/2017 01:03

Had you seen DD you would have probably done the same, maybe I overreacted but I got a fright and did what I thought was right, if I'm wrong apologies but we panicked

OP posts:
RavingRoo · 31/12/2017 01:05

Overreaction. Sounds like your dd needs mental health support, anxiety is awful.

Original poster
elaine26 · 31/12/2017 01:06

I think you're right liminality it's nice to know that some mums have a heart. Hopefully she will be OK but we have lots of Dr's appointments upcoming, will probably get flamed for that too

OP posts:
Willow2017 · 31/12/2017 01:09

Op was supposed to wait 3 hours to see a dr with a child who already has medical issues, who has been sick for several days (probably compromising any meds she is on) who is having a pabic attack and at risk from an asthma attack?

Ok. Oh wait... Maybe the staff in a&e who told her she did the right thing know more about her medical conditions than randoms on the internet?

Sil was stupid and selfish i hope she feels terrible for putting your dd through this op and that your dd gets better asap.

Swirlingasong · 31/12/2017 01:13

Listen to the nurse who said you did the right thing, not strangers on the internet. I have taken a child with underlying condition to a and e with a vomiting bug. I can well believe you were not over-reacting (some people have no idea how serious a vomiting bug can be for some children). I would be livid with your SiL, she sounds utterly selfish to have come anywhere near.

Willow2017 · 31/12/2017 01:14

Juat to say When my kids had regular asthma bouts in winter there was never any question of them not going to hosp. It was standard if they were ill and thier asthma flared up they would either send me to ooh IF there was someone there waiting for us otherwise we went to hosp, often by ambulance. They never took chances with kids and asthma.

gluteustothemaximus · 31/12/2017 01:15

Hope your DD feels better soon Flowers

Anniethinggose · 31/12/2017 01:16

I completely sympathise with the anxiety attack, they are truly horrendous. Treating it as a medical emergency can exacerbate the problem though, the key is to calm and distract the patient rather than act like 'yes, something is severely wrong'. Unless it has actually triggered an asthma attack.
In the meantime you're doing the exact same thing SIL did but on a bigger scale, with more vulnerable people.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 31/12/2017 01:18

YANBU to be pissed off with your SIL at all.
If I were you I'd be sending her messages, FB or text, to say "We're in A&E, thank you so much for passing on your sickness bug to DD, next time don't bother turning up" or something along those lines, depending on how rude you feel like being.

Hope your DD Is better and out of there soon. And yes, a panic attack in an asthmatic is best dealt with ASAP.