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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To try and have it all - flexible working

56 replies

MomtoOneMarvelousBubba · 30/12/2017 22:09

Im going back to work next week after 11 months off - thinking of it nakes me feel sick. My only consolation is i know im not the first now will be last to do this.my wuestion is, AIBU to want to work from home two days a week and leave from work an hour early the other three days, so i can pick up dd at the end of the day leaving enough time to actually spend a tiny bit of wual time together?!

I proposed this setup to work and they declined saying its good to be seen in the office!

Anyway im not on her to moan but actually to get some guidance. Has anyone got any tips on how to negotiate this? Bear in mind i asked (albeit at short notice) if i could delay my return by three days so i could take care of dds settling in days and they said they would let me know but neber did!!

OP posts:
AuntJane · 30/12/2017 22:19

'Negotiation' is generally a two-way thing; what are you prepared to give the company in return?

NapQueen · 30/12/2017 22:20

Do others in your role wfh? Is there provision for it? If you leave 1 hour early on the 3 days in the office does that necessitate someone else always having to be there for that hour so reduced flexibility for them?

Andrewofgg · 30/12/2017 22:20

It depends what you do: some jobs need more bums-on-seats than others. TBH I think you may be on the margins of what is acceptable.

NapQueen · 30/12/2017 22:21

Posted too soon.

On your wfh days will dd still go to childcare?

Andrewofgg · 30/12/2017 22:21

x-post with NapQueen - your management will have to consider the effect on others, with and without children.

Battleax · 30/12/2017 22:25

Can you propose PT? Long mornings?

headoutofthesand · 30/12/2017 22:25

What do you do? What impact will it have on your work? Your boss? Your colleagues?
Just focussing on the leaving work an hour early - do you propose going in an hour earlier so doing the same length day or working fewer hours? If you are working fewer hours, are there others in the team who can do the work you would have done? If not, is anyone prepared to do the extra half day and is the money being saved on not paying you for those hours sufficient to pay them? If you're going in earlier, what impact does that have on the team? Will that hour actually be productive or will you be hanging around waiting for the others? Have you proved your reliability over the years so I can trust you will come in an hour earlier & not just ten minutes earlier? Do you always finish on time each day or, if your finish time is supposed to be 5pm, are you often there until 5.20 finishing things off meaning it's not just an hour earlier that you're leaving but 1hr20.
All the flexibility seems to be around you. What request is your DH/DP making? If you are the one solely responsible for pick ups (which the request you have made suggests), does that mean you will be the one who disappears as soon as you get a call from childcare today your child is ill?
What are you aware of from colleagues? Have any of them put flexible requests in? If so, what is or has worked for them within the department?

suitcaseofdreams · 30/12/2017 22:26

You are legally entitled to request flexible working. They are however not legally obliged to agree to it but there are only specific reasons they can decline it - and "its good to be seen in the office" isn't one of them!
You need to submit a proper request through the right channels (check your company HR policies) and ensure that you focus on how you will ensure that your flex working will not disadvantage the company in any way. You may need to compromise a bit - 2 days at home and leaving early the other 3 days may be asking for too much so try to balance it and ask for something you think they will be more likely to accept. You will need to clearly demonstrate that whatever you do ask for, it won't impact on the business or other team members (if you look up the list of reasons why a company can decline a flex working request, this will give you an idea what you need to think about to make sure they have no reason to decline your request)

I have successfully requested flex working in two different roles but on both occasions have first proved that I am committed and prepared to be flexible when needed. You may need to return to work full time for a few months to prove your commitment before submitting your flex working request?

Good luck!

Original poster
MomtoOneMarvelousBubba · 30/12/2017 22:30

Well on the three days ill really only be taking 30mins off the workung day. Ive proposed i come in half hour early and take 30mins for lunch. On the wfh days ill do normal times so i can collect dd from childcare. I have said im happy to be flexible

OP posts:
idontlikealdi · 30/12/2017 22:34

When I first went back I did 3 days in the office 830-5 and WFH 9-1 on the other two.

While it worked in terms of childcare it didn’t work in terms of my career which essentially stalled for a few years as ‘not enough visibility in the office’.

Depends on your job entirely though.

NeverTwerkNaked · 30/12/2017 22:35

Yanbu to want this. I don’t know why employers are resistant. I attract really highly talented people into my team because I promote flexible working and am really support of it.
The win for me is talented, motivated employees. There’s no downside, all our clients are happy.

AlonsosLeftPinky · 30/12/2017 22:41

My company are generally reluctant to grant WFH requests when they're in relation to childcare. I think a lot are.

rjay123 · 30/12/2017 22:43

What benefits will the employer get from giving you this flexibility?

YellowMakesMeSmile · 30/12/2017 22:43

The early start and finish time is likely to be open for negotiation if you don't need to stay until the usual finish time for business reasons.

The WFH a lot of employers are resistant to as it's open to abuse and many try and not use childcare on those days.

If you can collect your child by finishing early then it's more likely to be granted doing that for five days than trying to not go into work for two whole days.

Original poster
MomtoOneMarvelousBubba · 30/12/2017 22:47

Also so many ppl in my org do flex time and we have home workers in one division. While i was preg. I wfh at least 1 day a week. Problem is while i ve been on mat leave my entire team has left the comp! So my manager doesnt know me.

OP posts:
GoldenBlue · 30/12/2017 23:06

If you want a successful flexible working application you need to consider it from the employers point of view.

How can the same amount of work be done for the same cost or less?

If you are requesting reduced hours is there sufficient capacity in the team to absorb the extra work? Will it feel like an unfair increase of work load on them?

If you want part time is the hour reduction enough to enable a job share to be recruited? Again if not is there capacity amongst the team to absorb the work?

I have received requested to reduce hours that stated that work could be absorbed by a colleague. The naive assumption that their colleague could do 7 days a week work in 5 days was mind boggling.

When new parents request to wfh I do have concerns that they may not plan to use childcare (people have assumed this would be ok in the past). I do not believe you can work and simultaneously care for a child.

Write your request aiming to address any of the legitimate reasons a company can use to reject a request so that it is clear how your flexible request won't disadvantage the organisation

Monoblock67 · 30/12/2017 23:42

I’m not sure about the ‘leaving early to spend time with DC’ bit. Different if you had to leave early to get then on time for your childcare closing for the day. We’d all like to be able to do that, but some parents have to drop off for opening and collect for closing just to be able to work a normal day.

NoMudNoLotus · 30/12/2017 23:52

@Monoblock67 absolutely.

We would all im sure love to be able to spend the time with our DC ... but as a working parent one of the first major learning curves is accepting responsibility for the decision we have made to have DC - our wants are not our employees responsibility.

Sadly as a manager i see an increase in women returning to work with a wish list as long as their arm that just is not compatible with service delivery.

Candlelight234 · 30/12/2017 23:53

You need to formalise it by making a flexible working request.
You also need to think of some better cast iron reasons of why your request WONT impact your team or employers. Just wanting to spend more time at home with your baby isn't a good enough rationale for your employers to agree to this, taking into consideration 'bums on seat' response so far.
2 days from home is a lot IMO,I suggest reducing this to 1 to give you a better chance of getting this agreed and doing early starts / less lunch breaks to keep your hrs the same.

Coastalcommand · 30/12/2017 23:54

Are you in a union? Your rep should be able to help you negotiate this.

starzig · 30/12/2017 23:56

Can you suggest going in an hour early to leave an hour early? As for the work from home days I think you might need to assure them you have childcare as they may be thinking you intend to look after your child In work hours which would not be acceptable.

NoMudNoLotus · 31/12/2017 00:04

Asking at short notice to delay your return by 3 days would not go down well with me OP ... did you do any KIT days ?

Have you been negotiating with your manager well in good time re your return to work ?

Becles · 31/12/2017 00:07

Bear in mind that you are only legally entitled to make one request once every 12 months.

Also YABU I wouldn't grant the request as it comes across as resenting any time at work and that you would be actively looking after your baby those two days.

Re leaving enough time to actually spend a tiny bit of wual time together?! If the father is also looking at FW it would be less onerous on both employers if you worked together to come up with a solution that gave you both time with the baby.

Original poster
MomtoOneMarvelousBubba · 31/12/2017 07:53

In my job i cant get away with not doing my work. It would show in a day or two. I am very good at my job and intend to keep it that way! My baby would be in full time childcare and with dh on fridays. @Becles All i want is to be able to leave work technically half hour early on three days out of five and work normal hours from home the other two. This would allow me to have roughly an hour and a half of facetime with dd in the evenings each day, as opposed to 30ish minutes.

I spoke to hr first then made the request as advised on email, two months before i went back. (@nomudnolotus) I did three KIT days.

I have 2 childless friends who both wfh up to three days a week!!!!!! Just because ive had a baby i havent turned into a workshy liar overnight! And dont see why i should be penalised by suspiscious minds. I always go above and beyond, think working late into the evening -8pm, starting early 7am all while 8 months pregnant just to make sure my job is done and there is no slack.

OP posts:
daisychain01 · 31/12/2017 08:04

I always go above and beyond, think working late into the evening -8pm, starting early 7am all while 8 months pregnant just to make sure my job is done and there is no slack

This gives me concerns - you shouldn't need to work a 13 hour day to get your job done. I'd definitely suggest this is something you need to resolve so that you have very defined boundaries between work and home, otherwise it will really muddy the waters regarding flexible working.

It's a slippery slope that you need to get under control, because you'll find it extremely difficult to do that work pattern with a newborn, and you could find your company levelling criticism against you for this even if it isn't your fault. Especially as your manager doesn't know you!