AIBU to be anxious over this sleepover?

[jobergamot]

So, DD, 9, is staying at her dad's 3 hours drive away for 4 days after Xmas. She spoke to me on phone today and said she was having a sleepover with the girl who lives next door to her dad. So this girl lives with her own Dad as a single male and there are no other other adults in the house. Am I being unreasonable to be a little bit anxious about this sleepover and the potential risk that is involved? I know nothing about this man and really don't want to sanction The Sleepover however dd's father seems to have just agreed it!

I feel aggrieved because the point of her spending 4 days after xmas is to see her father and his family, not to stay with random strangers!

If he's not married to the mother, not on the birth certificate, and not applied for parental responsibility through the court, then no he doesn't have PR.

Yanbu. I would be pissed off, If her Dad lives that distance and she is only there for 4 days.

No harm in making new friends, but a sleepover No. He may very well be a lovely Dad. Your Ex does not sound very responsible. Do you think it was convenient so he could go out?

I doubt you will sleep much tonight.

All the posters reprimanding the op for not trusting the dad and saying that he should have the right to make judgments in his time with the dd, surely the fact that he only sees dd ten nights a year indicates that he doesn't put a standard amount of thought or concern as to what is best for her?
I just can't imagine a parent applying an appropriate level of consideration/judgment to this whilst also being a parent who is happy to spend such a small amount of time with his child. It also means that they are not used to having to consider their child's needs.

Dontknowwherethelineis-but then I’d not let her go to that parent for 4 nights! If he only visits about 10 times, why would you let your child go there for so long. If you trust someone to make the parental decisions for 4 night’s despite them being fairly absent, it would be hard to put limits on that.