Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate insistent phone call friends

58 replies

twiney · 30/12/2017 14:30

You know the type. You're having a really to the point text convo that goes like this:
You: So for tomorrow, how about I bring a ham and we can just pick at leftovers and make sandwiches?
Her: Sounds good! Looking forwrd to seeing you.
You: Me too! Should get there around 4.

Next thing you know your phone is ringing. She's calling to reiterate the whole conversation you literally just had and confirmed, followed by "how are you anyway?"

Well, I'm fine actually, but I was watching a film and will go into detail about how I am, tomorrow, when I arrive at 4, with the ham, for us to pick at, and make sandwiches with.

FFS!!!!!!

/end rant

OP posts:
Zapdos · 30/12/2017 14:37

YANBU

I hate chatting on the phone! Even to DM or DH. Texts are fine!

ILoveMillhousesDad · 30/12/2017 14:39

I hate chatting on the phone with anyone.

I prefer to whatsapp and chat face to face.

gamerchick · 30/12/2017 14:43

That’s why I leave massive gaps inbetween texts unless it’s an on my way job. Means I can ignore the calling.

NancyDonahue · 30/12/2017 14:49

YANBU. I wouldn't have answered!

Undercoverbanana · 30/12/2017 14:51

Phone calls - hate them. Never answer it. Anyone who knows me knows I hate talking on the phone so will text me anyway. Brings on my anxiety something awful.

DancesWithOtters · 30/12/2017 14:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoozeyHoozey · 30/12/2017 14:53

Hate phone calls too! Only ring if it’s urgent!

elQuintoConyo · 30/12/2017 14:54

Silent is your friend. My phone is constantly on silent.

And between 10pm-9am, it's also on airplane mode so i don't get messages. Blissful.

I do whatsapp and get back to people, but i don't like my phone pinging like a paranoid microwave "did you hear me? did you hear me? dud you hear me? PING! PING! PING! PING!"

Fuuuuuuuuuuck ooooooofffffff!

CurryWorst · 30/12/2017 14:55

just don't answer the phone then. It's really not that hard, you're not forced to have a conversation you don't want to have.

Jaxhog · 30/12/2017 15:00

Love talking on the phone! But I only talk when I want to chat. Sometimes I just don't answer, or I answer, give an excuse and call back when it's convenient for me.

My mobile is almost always on silent though.

Weezol · 30/12/2017 15:05

I love a lengthy phone call. But if I'm doing something, I hate being broken off and just don't pick up. The answering machine picks up, or I look at call display on my mobile and if I don't fancy a chat I don't answer.

If I'm in company (say, watching a dvd with a friend) I let the machine get it. Visitors have found this quite shocking at the time, so I explain "I have set this time apart for you/to do this and I think it's rude to spend that time on the phone talking with someone else. It would be like going out for a drink together and me going to another pub for half an hour leaving you sat there alone".

With my circle of friends/family I know if someone rings my mobile twice in quick succession it's probably a bit of an emergency. I have picked up at 2am, because if I'm getting a call at that time, it means something serious, like a marriage break up or something.

Baubletrouble43 · 30/12/2017 15:09

Yes yes and yes. There's a reason you text... It's because you don't want to chat on the phone!!! Never understood the point of phone calls since the invention of text email etc. But then I'm introverted antisocial and weird x

Gemini69 · 30/12/2017 15:13

I hate phone calls.. my Mobile is always on DND Grin naughy I know... it's easy folks.. text me.. Smile

eeanne · 30/12/2017 15:14

My mother does this! She will call 5 times in 5 minutes whenever she remembers another thing to tell me. She’s even called to ask me to Google something for her Hmm It’s so annoying! Constantly saying “why don’t you just text me.”

Original poster
twiney · 30/12/2017 15:15

I think the thing is I usually text with Whatsapp so they can see if you're online.

But even with normal texting - so you send a message and then 10 seconds later you suddenly cant get to the phone? Thats the problem!

OP posts:
Gemini69 · 30/12/2017 15:18

whatsapp's not a problem... ignore it.. job done x

viktoria · 30/12/2017 15:19

I'm in the total minority here, but I hate back and forth texting.
I'd much rather have a quick phone call to make arrangements and be done with it.
If I don't want to or am busy with something else, I don't answer my phone.
But if a friend texts me about an arrangement and then calls me, it might just be that the friend is lonely or feels down and would like to speak to somebody rather than text.

Lweji · 30/12/2017 15:21

Yes, YABU to have such friends. Ditch them.

More seriously, if they ring you, text back that you can't speak then and will talk to them when you meet. Easy.

agentdaisy · 30/12/2017 15:23

I hate talking on the phone but sometimes it's easier to make a quick call. Of it was a case of "I'll bring the snacks, see you at 4" then I'd just text but if it was a more detailed thing that would take five minutes to type then I'd call. I'd never make text arrangements and then call to say them again though.

Gemini69 · 30/12/2017 15:24

you can set your phone up to automatically respond to phone calls .. it'll go unanswered then it'll send a text saying.. Busy whatever Grin

CoffeeAndCupcakes85 · 30/12/2017 15:25

YANBU. I hate phone calls as they always happen when I've got a million and one things to do. My mum's the worst for insisting we need a phone call for everything!

Text from me: I'll be over around 5pm on Saturday. Let me know if you need me to bring anything.

Phone rings

Text from me: I can't speak right now as I'm trying to get DS to bed. Text me before Saturday if you need me to bring anything or do anything.

Text from her: Can you call me when DS is asleep so we can make plans for Saturday?

My inner thoughts: FFS, as soon as he's asleep I need to eat dinner, do the washing up, do the ironing, tidy away all of his toys, wash my hair, waste time on Mumsnet or watching TV and maybe actually get some sleep before DS wakes up in 2-3 hours...

Inevitable phone call takes 30 minutes and NOTHING is said that couldn't have been said in a text.

Rudgie47 · 30/12/2017 15:26

Just be honest and say you cant be arsed with them unless it suits you.

Pearlsaringer · 30/12/2017 15:28

YAB a little bit U. Not everyone follows the same rules. In my family we will send an opening text to check if busy, if we get a positive response then we know it’s ok to call. Maybe you need a more decisive sign off message when texting. “Looking forward to catching up properly tomorrow” sort of thing. Or just don’t answer. You don’t have to.

Original poster
twiney · 30/12/2017 15:29

@CoffeeAndCupcakes85
Totally!

I'm always quite passive aggressive on the phone, by which I mean I have a friendly tone but I don't fill in the gaps or ask questions. So I just answer questions briefly and if there's a silence I just leave it to hang, the implication being "....was there anything else?"

Like you say I also fucking hate "I'll call to organise Saturday" texts. Organise what? We're going to the cinema on satuday that starts at 8. So why not just text "what time should we meet in front of cinema/shall we meet at bar X at 7 for drinks first?"

OP posts:
FrancisUnderwood · 30/12/2017 15:29

I'm exactly the same. HATE answering the phone, never do. It's always on silent.

Weird isn't it?