To hate insistent phone call friends

[twiney]

You know the type. You're having a really to the point text convo that goes like this:
You: So for tomorrow, how about I bring a ham and we can just pick at leftovers and make sandwiches?
Her: Sounds good! Looking forwrd to seeing you.
You: Me too! Should get there around 4.

Next thing you know your phone is ringing. She's calling to reiterate the whole conversation you literally just had and confirmed, followed by "how are you anyway?"

Well, I'm fine actually, but I was watching a film and will go into detail about how I am, tomorrow, when I arrive at 4, with the ham, for us to pick at, and make sandwiches with.

FFS!!!!!!

/end rant

@FrancisUnderwood
Its because its stilted and you can't read facial expresssions, yet simultaneously are required to give it your full attention.

This thread has made me realise how little we communicate verbally these days. People seem to be irritated by phone calls, which - in my experience - definitely wasn't the case years ago. Everyone I know chatted lots on the phone, and the idea that it might be annoying never entered anyone's head, because it just wasn't.

It makes me feel a bit sad that talking has been superseded by messaging...

I'm exactly the same. HATE answering the phone, never do. It's always on silent. Weird isn't it?

I'm going to Confess........

I have my house phone on Silent too... it switches to answering machine after two 'silent' rings.... nobody knows this lol

I'm like viktoria, particularly with my mum. She sends epically long texts and wants the same length (at least) in reply. It's quicker to ring her.

YANBU OP, that is just very needy behaviour.

It makes me feel a bit sad that talking has been superseded by messaging...

But we are all busy. Texts are effective. My elder sisters used to control me with phone calls as I often can't assert myself immediately, now I just send them screenshots of my point of view when they say I agreed to arrangements etc.

@twiney - Exactly! It's bonkers.

@KiaOraAura - I would happily meet up with people and actually speak to them face to face! I prefer meeting up with people than having texts backwards and forwards, and certainly prefer it to being put on the spot with a phone call at a really awkward time.

I have found my tribe. Always thought I was strange for hating the phone calls. Have caller display and only ever answer when I know who it is and them I sometimes leave it if I'm busy right now. Got a friend I love but her calls are always over an hour long and honestly who has that much time?

I actually don't much mind talking on the phone. However, if I text someone that I will see them in an hour, meeting at X place, why do they then call me to tell me absolutely everything interesting, they could just wait a whole hour and regale me then????
Strange.

Fancied Exactly that. One friend would ring daily and want to be on several hours...

I would spend an hour on the phone if I wasn't doing anything else when they rang. I haven't got two or three hours a night, every night to talk because I'm trying to have some sort of life. I would rather meet up and spend that time face to face.

I've know someone like that, if I need a yes or no answer to something I'll text. Far quicker. Guarantee I'll get a call back right away (I texted because it's only a yes/no and I'm busy!) But no, every time it's "I don't like texting". Why the fuck their need not to text overrides mine to text who knows. And if I don't pick up on my mobile they try again. Then they ring the house phone and basically won't leave me alone until they get their precious call. Which lasts of all 10 seconds because by then I'm pissed off at being hounded so once I get an answer I'm "right, bye then."

Although if they want a favour off me they become all coy and oh they are fine to text then!...

I have a friend who does this it drives me mad. Always catches you off guard or busy and it's never just a 5 min chat. It's lengthy. And I'm one of those people who hate having a phone conversation when someone else is in the room listening. Hate It!!!
Dsil just phoned me for the first time ever and I thought it was important so I answered. She wanted to pop up even though dh is off out to the pub in another city. I'm just in from work and want to relax now she's on her way because I was too off guard to come up with an excuse. Ffs.

I hate texting. Really can't be arsed. It's a lot easier to have a phone conversation rather than typing out lots of little words on a bloody screen.

My friends know better than to try to text me about anything that isn't a text matter - like a phone number or arrival time.

We were all busy in the days when phoning was the only way to communicate other than letters/face to face.

I still think its sad that this is a form of communication that we are losing, other than when there is a difficult relationship with the person on the other end of course.

This thread has made me realise how little we communicate verbally these days

I don't find MN to be representative of the wider world, many people here describe themselves as 'introverts', 'socially anxious', report difficulty being around people, ask advice on basic matters of socialising, dealing with others/family etc.

No-one I know communicates primarily by text.

We phoned a lot less before mobile phones. Only at home or a pay phone. And then we had to pace ourselves because others would want the phone too.
Not everyone had cordless phones either, so we'd have to stay in one place.
Making dinner used to be a good excuse to stop a conversation.

MN is a self selecting sample of people who aren already choosing to communicate with people via a screen.

I LOVE SILENT ... it's my Heaven

We had exactly this situation last night. Several texts to organise something followed by a phone call to complicate all the arrangements already made.

Kia I can be very old school

I have an friend with ASD and he finds phones impossible as he can't pick up cues. We don't meet up much because he's a contractor often working odd hours.

A couple of years ago I suggested writing to each other as we were both wanting to be in touch more. So we do. He sends really carefully chosen postcards (my favourite artists, cats that look like mine) when he's away and we exchange a longer letter every 6 or so weeks. I reply to the cards with ones I know he'll like. It has really enriched our friendship.

We both love getting a 'proper letter' amongst the dross that is post these days.

@Weezol - I love that !

How lovely Weezol I cant remember the last time I had a letter from a friend.

coffee & kia It really is great. My postman has commented on it - turns out we like some of the same artists!

If you think it might work with someone in your life, suggest it. Coming in wet, cold and fed up to up to find a lovely postcard is a real delight and makes me happy for the rest of the day.

I think I've found my tribe too, I hardly ever talk to anyone on the phone other than my mum. Texting/emailing is great.

But I have a boss who thinks everything can be sorted out much better in a phone call than an email exchange.

And she's right. Which is annoying for people like me who prefer emailing and texting. I hate instant messaging though. It's so insistent. At least I can choose whether to reply to an email and when, but an IM is right there, getting in the way of your work.

DM does this. It's really annoying, I have my phone on DND between 7pm - 8.50am, but I let calls through from vulnerable members of the family, we don't have a land line. DM rings at 8 on a weekday, when we're just leaving the house. EMERGENCIES ONLY! CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT? WE HAVE LIVES! And breathe.

How do you do that Gemini?