Strip club before friend's wedding

[Austenlove]

Atm I simply can't imagine myself in a state of mind where I can let this go and move on and would really like some outside perspective.
DH and I were invited to his old school friend's wedding in a city that is three hours away. We were excited to go and booked a posh hotel with his best friend and partner. We all drive down together, got checked in, had a nice meal out and then went drinking with some other guests before the wedding the next day.
At midnight myself and my Husband's friend's partner decided to get an Uber back to the hotel as we were tired and I didn't want to take away from DHs time with his friends who he now rarely sees as they live all over.
DH gets in at 3 and tries to cuddle up telling me he loves me, I'm seething to have been woken up. Get up in the morning and ask what he got up to. He casually informs me that he and his BF, who was also Best Man at our wedding, and another friend went to a strip club. He paid £60 for a private dance. We are also trying to save money at the moment but that is another issue. DH says that he wanted to be honest with me and that I didn't mind when he went on a stag night. I said that this was different to being away with your wife for a wedding knowing that she was in the hotel alone while you paid to have another woman's warm naked body writhing up against you before cosying up to your wife in bed.
I feel like he has no respect for me or our marriage.
I am also furious at his friend as he was the one who pushed them to go. He's the type who thinks a lot of himself, think Wolf of Wall street. He has lied to his girlfriend who was also there, she has no idea. DH said it wasn't my place to tell her. Is obviously upset and she asked me what was wrong but I didn't tell her.
DH has apologised profusely and promised to never go again but I just feel dreadful. I also want to speak to his friend as he obviously also has no respect for women or our marriage that he was Best Man at.
I don't want to be a doormat but I don't want to lose my husband. It is a happy marriage, this was very unusual for him. AIBU to generally be awful with him for a prolonged period of time and to want to rip his friend to shreds?

FoggieFishie, you took the words out of my mouth lol. I was stunned at the question even and was trying to compose a reply

And I agree with Archchancellor, he's done this twice and I don't believe for one second he 'sees' your point of view at all. Most people just want a quick way out of confrontation and the easiest way is to agree and say they now see the error of their ways. Obviously, I could be entirely wrong but he more likely puts it in the 'she can't understand, shes a woman' box and probably feels as enthusiastic about lapdances as before. I have a female friend who often gets men to do sex acts for her without her partner and they always have to be slightly sleazy for her to enjoy it - her partner complained before saying that he felt it was cheating even if she told him'it's not fair on the guys, some of whom genuinely believed she liked them etc and she agreed with him, apologised and now continues behind his back.

I'm not saying your husband will do this, but actually paying for a private dance (while a lot of people would find the idea exciting, they don't actually do it) is taking it to a higher level than most people with partners would, so it could indicate a need for something a bit more unusual perhaps.

He probably came when she was gyrating on his lap and I'd call it cheating really, even though he was decent enough to tell you about it.

I couldn't be with a someone who felt it was OK to do this while a partner waited in a hotel room for them.

I feel like I'm being too harsh and maybe you won't appreciate it, but you're asking for perspective and I felt I had to put my point of view. I really don't think you're being unreasonable in your upset over it at all and would consider whether I wanted to be with a man who paid for this type of thing.

He probably came when she was gyrating on his lap Seriously? 😂

It's was just a lap dance, which he told her about!

I think some of you are massively overreacting.

Snork 😉