Page 2 | Dp and pictures of women

Elizanotlittle · 2017-12-30T09:17:23+00:00

Would it bother you if your partner got off over images of p3 women? It's not a porn debate as such as that is more to do with ethics. But p3 or pictures of scantily clad celebrities. Some of my friends say it doesn't bother them. Others it would. It would me. AIBU? Are there any other ways of looking at this.

AnotherDunroamin · 30/12/2017 18:38

I would hate it. Largely because p3 girls usually look very different to me. I think I'm reasonably attractive, but I'm not white or blonde, don't wear much makeup, and don't go in for the whole hair extensions / fake nails look. If that was what he was into I'd question whether he really found me attractive at all.
If there was a market in this country for scantily clad women who look remotely like me, and he was getting off on those, I might have less of a problem with it.

DownstairsMixUp · 30/12/2017 18:54

Eww no dump. What a loser.

Candyfloss1122 · 30/12/2017 19:10

I feel really sorry for some of these men! My God once they get into a relationship they are literally banned from being who they were before the relationship and shamed into thinking that even merely looking at a static image of a woman is the world's worst crime.

Give them a break, It's human nature!

Original poster

Elizanotlittle · 30/12/2017 19:17

Another

Hmmm interesting point. I have blonde hair and big boobs. Possibly could have done p3 20 years ago.lol lol

No fake nails or hair extensions though.

Thanks though. It is nice to hear other people's boundaries.

OP posts:

LemonysSnicket · 30/12/2017 22:15

I wouldn’t care. He’s allowed to fantasise because fantasies aren’t real.

Insomnibrat · 30/12/2017 22:22

Good luck finding a man on the planet who doesn't eye women (especially those modelling for titillation) in a sexual light.

This is ludicrous.

ReanimatedSGB · 30/12/2017 22:24

What's the actual situation, OP? Is your H refusing sex with you, but wanking over photographs of models? Have you had a long discussion about the ethics of porn and found you don't entirely agree with one another? Or are you frequently demanding reassurance that you are the only woman in the world for whom he could possibly feel any desire?

Pretty much everyone occasionally fantasises about sex with an imaginary person and/or someone other than the official partner. Look at the 50 Shades phenomenon: loads of women lusting after the fictitious Mr Grey (don't want to derail into an in depth discussion of 50 shades and whether it was a good or a bad thing, just using it as an example of people having wank fantasies about a person who was not their partner.)

Indigo911 · 30/12/2017 22:27

I doubt men are looking at things like hair extensions and nails when they look at glamour models. They’ll be looking at the boobs or bum and that’s it

AlonsosLeftPinky · 30/12/2017 22:28

Wouldn't bother me at all. I've got no right to dictate what my DH chooses to think of when he has a wank.

I'm quite secure in myself and our relationship. I know I'm enough, and I understand that humans are generally drawn or attracted to a range of different attributes.

Dahlietta · 30/12/2017 22:51

It's not very classy, is it?

AlonsosLeftPinky · 30/12/2017 22:54

Wanking generally isn't a very classy activity is it?

Dahlietta · 30/12/2017 22:55

No, but it's even less so if you're holding a picture of a page 3 girl.

FabalaTheGreenGirl · 30/12/2017 22:57

If my partner read a p3 paper he wouldn't be my partner. :D

AnotherDunroamin · 30/12/2017 23:08

I doubt men are looking at things like hair extensions and nails when they look at glamour models.

I'm sure you're right! But even so, if they're exclusively looking at models with an entirely different "look" to their partner - everything from skin colour to body shape to the way they style themselves - it's not exactly a confidence booster. If you're (e.g.) a slim, white "girly girl" and your partner predominantly got off on big, butch black women you'd be a bit , no? (I don't fit either of those descriptions, incidentally, but by way of example!)

AlonsosLeftPinky · 30/12/2017 23:23

I'm fat. I don't expect my husband to fantasise about fat women just because I am one.

Don't most people fantasise about something different to what they have? Its a pretty crap fantasy otherwise isn't it??

Moussemoose · 30/12/2017 23:42

Do none of you have fantasies?

Is your DH the only image in your head?

I have a wide a varied imagination. My fantasies are rich and interesting. Some I share some I don't - but none of them are anyone's business but mine.

I wouldn't dream of attempting to police my DPs internal world.

starzig · 31/12/2017 00:00

I seem to have a lot of friends that overly like Tom Hardy lol

sadiesnakes · 31/12/2017 03:31

Starzig I love Tom Hardy too, but I don't sneak off and wank to naked pictures of him, even if there were some available or any man for that matter.
Moussemousse Fantasizing to images in your head is totally different and perfectly ok to sneaking off on the sly and wanking to actual real girls naked body's.
Nobody is saying fantasizing is unreasonable in a relationship, that's fine. But with actual porn, it's the inevitable comparison that happens between my size 16, stretchmarked, saggy tits body and some perky size 6 perfect 20 year olds body that will happen. Let's not kid ourselves here, I can clearly see the physical difference between my lovely dh and Tom Hardy or some such muscular male model. If I was looking at pictures of well hung big muscular men and wanking to them and my dh found out, he would feel hurt, jealous and insecure. Words from his own mouth. It's about being caring and considerate to your partner and being mindful of their feelings. If some of you have no self esteem issues or issues with your partners looking at other women naked that's fine for you, genuinely, I feel your very lucky. But for the rest of us that don't like it and expect a higher standard from our Dps then that's our prerogative too.

GameChanger01 · 31/12/2017 04:14

Good luck! And stunning women come in all colours... I know of a caucasian guy (ex but now married) who likes looking at darker skinned models though he is not married to someone of this description.., men often like to look at what they can't have for stimulation to get that "variety" they oh so desire... not saying I agree with it but again good luck...

trewz · 31/12/2017 07:22

Moussemousse Fantasizing to images in your head is totally different and perfectly ok to sneaking off on the sly and wanking to actual real girls naked body's

"Sneaking off on the sly"?! I love the way you make the alternative sound so pure, I really can't see what is so different. What if he sees an actress he likes do a nude scene in a film and then wanks over the memory of that image?

I'm finding this thought policing bizarre tbh.

trewz · 31/12/2017 07:25

I would hate it. Largely because p3 girls usually look very different to me. I think I'm reasonably attractive, but I'm not white or blonde, don't wear much makeup, and don't go in for the whole hair extensions / fake nails look. If that was what he was into I'd question whether he really found me attractive at all.
If there was a market in this country for scantily clad women who look remotely like me, and he was getting off on those, I might have less of a problem with it.

How ridiculous. Maybe make some scantily clad pics of yourself and insist he only wanks over those?

Fantasies are fantasies for a reason, half the time you don't want the actual fantasy in real life, that's why they are fantasises!

Candyfloss1122 · 31/12/2017 07:46

Do some people really think that their long term partners go off for a wank, close their eyes and picture you on your wedding day, in your PJs etc Come on!

coconuttella · 31/12/2017 08:37

Do topless or scantily clad pics count as porn? In one way I suppose they are... using an image for sexual gratification, but it seems very different morally to porn where sex acts are taking place. You can hardly claim a high earning P3 model who poses for erotic but not explicit shots is being abused or exploited in the way you could for hardcore porn stars doing extreme scenes. The principle moral objections that many have to porn don’t seem to apply here.

GunnyHighway · 31/12/2017 10:09

Simple really, when he's wanking to a picture of Lucy, 23 from Winchester he is objectifying women.

When she's wanking over Tom Hardy he's being objectified, but in s nice way

Indigo911 · 31/12/2017 10:15

Haha to the poster above who said wanking isn’t a classy thing to do. I don’t think the majority of the world’s population do it to be classy or not, they do it because they enjoy it. It’ll only be a very small minority who never, ever do it. I’m sure a lot of people who say they don’t do it only say that because they have ended up with a partner who has self esteem issues and they don’t want to hurt them.

What about if you go to a beach and there’s a woman with a great body in a bikini? Or what about a work colleague wearing a tight skirt or a low cut top. Men (and women) will always find something to look at. Even if they don’t necessarily wank over it, I’m sure they’ll look and think “wow she’s got a really sexy body!”
You also shouldn’t read too much into men finding women different to you attractive. My ex said he could see the beauty in all sorts of different body shapes. Small boobs, big boobs, skinny long legs, curvy tummies, big bums, love handles, white women, black women, Asian women etc.
I do get insecure if a partner is open about finding another woman sexually attractive in front of me. But what he thinks in his own head is his business and not something I can control, just like he can’t control when I fantasise about another man from time to time. I’ve also sometimes had completely random sex dreams about men who aren’t my partner. You can’t control what your husbands are dreaming about. They can’t control it either.